Doctor tomorrow and scarred

[charsey]

I've had an anxiety disorder now for about 7 years. I have good spurts where i can live without anxiety for a while but it always comes back. Well i suppose it's always there but when i'm in a new situation where i think don't know how to deal with it my anxiety hits hard.
I'm very much aware that i over worry about what i think could be wrong with me but i also can't control it all the time.
About 8/6 weeks ago (might not even be that long ago) i saw the news where a young lady called Sarah had a mole removed 3 years ago, she was told it was fine and that it was not cancerous. The hospital made a mistake Sarah's mole was cancerous and due to this error she now has terminal cancer, she's 26 with 2 children. When i heard this story it panicked me. I'm 27, just had a baby, I have moles, i have sun bathed endlessly to get a tan in the past, i have also used sunbeds. In particular i have a mole on my chest it has gotten bigger lately but then so has my chest due to pregnancy, however i have not been able to bring myself to get it checked out as i fear that i'll be told i too have terminal cancer. I'm having to go to the doctor tomorrow to get the mole checked out because my anxiety is taking over my life, i can't concentrate on things, my memory is awful, i'm usually a very tidy person (my house looks like a bomb has hit it and i can't be bothered to tidy up properly). I'm snappy with my fiance, i don't sleep at night. I've had headaches for weeks and only just getting them under control.
I'm scared about going to the doctor, all day i've felt like crying. I know that i should go but i also don't want to. What if my fears become my reality, I've just had a beautiful baby girl that i don't feel i'm bonding with properly because my negative thoughts keep taking over.
I feel like i'm going mad

[Karen]

Hi Charsey

For a start you are not going mad. You heard a story about someone with a serious illness and begain to focus and obsess on the idea that you might have it too. It is very common with health anxiety.

I know you are scared about going to the doctor but can you honestly say that you will feel any worse than you do right now. At least if you see your doctor you can get yourself checked out and hopefully that will put your mind at rest.

You can do this. Will be thinking of you :hugs:

Karen xx

[breeze25]

Echo your not going mad, I suffer from HA and this is the sort of thing that would freak me out.

Infact I did have a mole once that changed quite rapidly and took me ages to go to the doctors, when I felt I had prepared myself for the possibility of dying I finally went to the doctors (probably about 6 weeks after first noticing it) I remember waiting in the surgery which was running late, I felt the panic wash over me, and walking to the room I was shaking like a leaf. Turns out I had put a little bit of weight on and when I was leaning forward it was rubbing on my bra and that had aggrivated it !!!!! I felt so daft and in the space of a few moments I felt relief.

I am sure you will be fine, you have just had a baby, and that was when my HA kicked into overdrive, the thoughts of not being there to see him grow up etc etc, worried he would never remember me, since he was born I lost track of the number of things I thought I was dying of, he is now almost 9 and I am still here. For me it did get easier, it seemed the more things I though I had which turned out to be nothing the easier the next thing was to deal with.

After having a baby your body/hormones are still doing lots of things. Don't feel guilty about not properly bonding with your daughter, I am sure after some reassurance from the doctor that will help, and also please try and accept what the doctor tells you, those stories you hear are usually very rare and only highlighted because of that fact.

good luck and let us know how you get on.

[LeeBee]

The reason the story made it into the news is because it is so incredibly rare and unusual. In the vast, vast majority of cases this does not happen. That's why the media were interested in it.

Do get your moles checked, it's the only way to really put your mind at ease. Could you possibly be experiencing some post-natal depression, as you've just had a baby? Maybe take your moles along to the doctor, and have a chat about PND while you are there. Best of luck, hope you're feeling more relaxed and able to enjoy your wee girl soon :hugs:.

[Janieb]

to be honest when it comes to moles I always go and bug the docs about it, simply because I have so many and I used to tan my behind off when I was younger!! However a lot of my moles have changed since I have had my son and I have gotten new ones...but I keep an eye on them. Don't feel scared to go to the docs is anything was wrong (and I am sure it isn't) then catching it eary is better than leaving it!

I also felt that after I had, had my son my anx shot up sky high! and this was alarming as I now had more than one person to worry about (myself) I certainly didn't want to leave my son.

please don't get wrapped up about your health rather enjoy your time with your baby because it goes to fast!

[charsey]

Hi guys, thank you so much for your reply's.

I went to the doc today, rang first thing and got the earliest appiontment, He looked at the mole, it's fine. All that worry and stress!! I knew in my heart of hearts that it'd be fine.
I always tend to hold back at the doctors and never really tell them the full extent of my anxiety well today i told the doctor everything and although i feel emotional i do feel slightly relieved. I do think i have a bit of postnatal depression and that this has added to my anxiety, although the doctor never said anything about that. He is however going to refer me to a therapist, has anyone else had therapy? How was it? Did it help?
Is anxiety something we learn to control and live with or can we overcome it?