How am I supposed to do this???

[theright]

This morning I was fine...

Until just before I left for work. I realized that I hadn't gotten a call from my husband and it was past the time he normally calls- which isn't unusual cause he drives truck and can't always get to the phone cause he's in and out - but I go into panic.

I tell myself, "Just hold on, wait till you're at work, maybe he'll call." So I forced myself to wait. He didn't call. I decided to call him even though I made a rule for myself not to all cause sometimes he's in a bad service area for cell phones...or he's dumping a can and can't get to the phone right away...so if I get voice mail, I panic.

When I called he didn't answer the phone. I panic. I try to calm down. I try to tell myself that he's busy.

Finally, he did call back and my symptoms disapear in an instant. I'm calm, I can think and all is fine.

What I want to know, is how to deal with this. I know the reality of the situation, how he can't always get to the phone, but yet my mind goes insane!!!!

Any tips to calm yourself???

:wacko:

[thoughts and actions]

hey

i can totally relate to what you are saying- i start panicking if i dont hear from family etc- sometimes even if i text people and they dont reply straight away i think i have either done something wrong or they have been in a terrible accident.

The way for me was CBT- it takes time as you have programmed your brain/mind to respond to this situation with anxiety/panic- its about reprogramming your thoughts

When you are anxious you automatically will think of the worst catastrophic thing possible.

Here are some ideas that i learnt through CBT- some might/ might not work for you - its trial and error but it DOES eventailly work- as your brain will respond automatically the more you do soemthing-

1. When he hasnt phoned you will think of the worst thing write this down and then nexf to it write how you are feeling and then put a percentage next to it of how muich to feel like that i.e. he has had an accident- anxious 90%, scared 80%, nervous 60%
2. Then write the evidence you have for this thought- i.e. he is on the motorway
3. Then write the evidence against the thought- i.e. he is in an area of no coverage, his battery is flat, he is an extremely careful driver, he has a lorry with the best safety mechonisms in it

Then write a balanced new thought i.e. okay he hasnt phoned now but that doesnt mean hes not going to phone- hes maybe stuck in traffic or cant use phone right now-ill give it another hour and go to work- right what have i got to do at work today and then rate how you are feeling now- anxious 60& etc- you should find that your anxiety calms down

Its all about looking at the pros and cons to the thought- not nec turning the postives into negatives as we all have to deal with negatives in our life- its about finding a BALANCE

I promise you if you do this time an dtime again (i do about 5 worksheets a day lol) eventually your mind will start to think these thoughts.

hope this has helped

xx