Am I really that bad?

[Janieb]

I am getting paranoid that people at work don't like me, or that I am a constant disappointment to people around me. I also feel that my husband is just married to me because it has been so long and he can't be bothered to find anybody else however I am the ugliest person in the world.

It is getting me down, and driving me into a hermative state, I don't want to go out and see friends, will worry they don't like me or like what I say. I hate my job because I am convinced that the guys don't like me that I work with and find me annoying because I am a woman in the construction world. I feel Huge and obese however I have just slimmed down to a size 14 but still hate my body with a passion!

When I was younger prior to having my little boy I used to think I was attractive and I would attract people but now no one even looks at me, yes maybe I am being vain but I enjoy a bit of flirting now and again but wow it wouldn't happen now because I think everybody is repulsed by me.

I need to break the cycle of thought or I think I am going to end up just never going out or speaking to people!!

Does anybody have any tips/hints/help on how to break the cycle of thinking??

Many Thanks,
Jane

[Missy69]

Hiya Jane,
I to am quite paranoid about people disliking me, i honestly truthfuly think its anxiety related, demoralizing yourself is a classic symptom.
When i feel this way, i try to just let the thoughts run through me and dont take any notice of them, because deep inside i know they are not true.
Also i think when you feel so bad about yourself, you then start to think, well if ithink this about myself, then others must think the same about me that i do ! Its more often than not, not true, people dont think the same, and whats worse is they probably dont know your thinking this of them and yourself, there for they cant really reassure you that what your thinking, they are most certainly not thinking of you in that way.
I hope you start to feel better soon, if this makes sense, i know you say your not vain and you just enjoy flirting and stuff, which i think is great, but even if you were a size 20 and not the best of lookers, people really dont tend to treat people badly or ignore them or get sick of them because of the way they look ! Hope that makes sense.
I sometimes think to myself, just because i dont feel as though i can find anything positive or lovable in myself today or tomorrow, that doesnt mean others cant. Try not to iscolate yourself from people, the situation will just get worse, stick with it and have faith that not everybody feels what you think they do about you.
Take care chick

[nanny]

Hi

I am exactly the same, I hate myself and can't and won't believe anyone else likes me.

I have friends but in my mind i think they say they like me because i'm someone they can "go about with" or talk too. Not that i go out much now, hardly at all infact.

I have been married to my hubby 32 years and we had been married 25 years before i finally believed he wasn't going to leave me, how sad is that!!

Even if i don't want to do things i do them because i think no one will like me if i don't.

It's a never ending circle and i just hate it:doh:

[Bill]

I am the ugliest person in the world.

I can understand your statements because I think them of myself but I find it very sad that such beautiful people could ever think so little of yourselves.

I've just seen pics of a couple of you and I am absolutely 100% certain that men would be queuing up fo be in the company of such attractive people.

However, beauty is just skin deep but your beauty goes much deeper because if you worry about what people think of you, it means you do your best to be liked. This means you care about others and don't like hurting them or letting them down because it makes you feel "bad" so what can be more attractive or more beautiful in a person than a beautiful person who cares?

In my eyes your husbands are Very Lucky to have such Precious partners so I envy them!

Don't beat yourselves up for being the Special people you are! I just find it So sad when a princess cannot see her beauty or a rose cannot see it's attractiveness because in my eyes you're priceless!

If you want to test me to prove what I say above is true, I'll not give up until I convince you I'm right and not you!!! I'd willingly be your therapy!:bighug1:

[nanny]

Oh bill, what a really lovely post.

Just reading it makes me feel so much better



BIG:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: for you

[bab]

oh bill - you are so lovely!
Janie - this is me totally - and i think i start acting defensive cos i think im inferior to everyone else - i always think evryone else is better - i used to be so glamourous and get mensa attention i know thats so bad of me to say - i used to be size 8 now im 18 and im so paranoid and fat and ugly -

[bab]

i have just read that back and i sound like a sl*t - i dont mean im desperate for mens attention now as im married but i would like to feel nice and for my husband to be proud of going out with me - i know he loves me but i want him to fancy me - now i just sound plain old sad

[Natural Mystic]

i have just read that back and i sound like a sl*t - i dont mean im desperate for mens attention now as im married but i would like to feel nice and for my husband to be proud of going out with me - i know he loves me but i want him to fancy me - now i just sound plain old sad
You don't sound a bit like that babe, I understand where you are coming from.

One thing this hasn't done to me, made me lose my confidence. Having said that I feel low and inadequate as a mother right now.

[bab]

why do you feel inadequate as a mother - i bet you are a fab one! x

[Bill]

Probably for the same reason you feel inadequate as a woman because you both dislike yourselves for different reasons.:hugs:

i know he loves me but i want him to fancy me

A man can fancy a woman not only for a slendour frame but also for their warm loving heart and caring soul which are more important anyway.........so why shouldn't he fancy you for what makes you the woman you are???:winks: :hugs: