Beyond Depressed

[Andyroo]

Okay..

ive started taking Lexapro ive been taking it for a few weeks now and it has made me feel amazing... now im out of it and i cant get anymore for a week because im from america staying in australia and my normal doctor that i can see for a reasonable price i can aford is out of town! he will be away for about a week.. im just going to vent so bare with me and please dont be offened by what i say because im not in my right mind.. it seems i have been offending Everyone i know the past few days!! its really starting to make me angry .. i say things and they ofeend people and its been worse since ive been off my meds.. im so depressed about it .. i feel like i cant talk to people because ill offend them!! me and my friend got into a argument and at the end i losy muy paitence and ended up calling him a really nasty name.. so then i get on msn to see if my msnm ates are on because i really dont get out much.. and there are a few on.. but i feel like the dont even care!!! i feel like im waisting my time talking to them.. they give me one worded answers to everything i say!! i bet if i asked them tomorrow about our conversation they wouldnt even remember it!!! .. i feel like noone cares and noone understands what iim going threw but me... yet i still look for people... i still look for people to understand.. i want people to understand me!!! so ilook for it .. .. its like what i say goes in one ear and out the other!! i mean when somone says they care do they really mean it?!?!? when somone says they understand do they really mean it!?!?!?!? ... ive listened to my friends problems in the past and .. well i have told them i understand but really i have no f**king idea whats going on.. and when i think about it im sure its the same.. people wil say they care and say they understand but really they have no clue whats going on and they have no idea how u feel... the only one that knows how u feel and what your going threw is YOURSELF!!!!! NOONE else... that makes me feel abit lonely... i want to rely on people because i dont want to be alone but i guess i am alone no matter what .... i can tell myself people care maybe it will make myself feel better...

i always feel im losing friends... everytime i get to comfortable and be myself around people i lose them.. i just wanna give up and be a hermit.. i dont wanna talk to anyone .. maybe i dont need anyone but myself.. i get so sick of it... it seems so hard to keep friend i have to keep in touch i have to make sure i talk to them i have to watch what i say... i ust f**king wish i could be myself and people accept it and like me... but it seems that will never happen.. ill need to pretend to be somone im not or have NO FRIENDS AT ALL BECAUSE IM A *******:mad:

okay like i said i dont mean to offend anyone.. im not myself and not have my meds is really screwing with me... i honestly wish i could just find somone who truely cared and truely understands... not just one of those people...


''OH malv i care!:hugs: :hugs: it willbe ok''


pfft :mad: that means nothing


This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter

[sheena]

Hi Malv

You do sound really angry I hope your post made you feel a bit better. When we are feeling down about ourselves it does seem that your friends might be only going through the motions but people who don't have panic, depression or anxiety do try and do their best even though they find it difficult to comprehend how we are feeling.

That is terrible that you can't get you tablets especially as you were doing so well on them. Is there no way you can get a refil?

I'm not going to say that you will be ok but I will give you some:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

Sheena

[bumbles]

You are going to be going through withdrawals aswell as not being well cant you find someone to fill the script.

[pooh]

How you doing Malv?

Pooh x

[LeeBee]

Going from meds to no meds suddenly is going to screw with your emotions. Maybe it's a bit like hormonal changes - your emotions go into overdrive because of sudden hormone surges or drops - so you feel a certain way for no particular reason - angry and isolated in your case - and you find something to hang it off, and lash out at people around you.

Do you exercise? It might seem like a random question but it's not... you're a physically healthy young man with emotional issues. Regular exercise might help. I find it really helps me (not a young man but still :D). It might help to burn off some of that aggression and nervous energy. Obviously I only know you from your forum posts, but I don't think you're usually an aggressive person, which again maybe suggests that it's your increased anxiety and lack of meds that are making you feel this way? It's good that you can come on here and have a rant. Feel free.