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MartyJD
04-11-08, 15:52
Hi All My name is Martin I am from barnsley south yorkshire and I am 24 years old.

I have suffering with Depression since I was 16 years of age and things have gotten alot worse I also suffer with OCD and being treated for "Post Traumatic Stress"

When I was 16 I came out to my parents as gay which was the hardest thing anyone could do at 16! its was a very difficult time as I wasnt accepted in the family and at school where I was bullied for a few years.

I was never the favourite in my family as I had 2 younger brothers who both loved football, girls, etc etc and me I loved Music, boybands, soaps, and I was a mummy's boy!

at the same time my mum and dad were constantly arguing and my dad used to him my mum on several occasions 1 time they come home from a night out argued and I heard screaming I went into the kitchen and there was my mum lying on floor and oil all over here and chip pan, I dont know who done what but was the most frightning night of my life I made the 999 call police arrived ambulance arrived, 4 hours laters hour my mum was released from hospital and came home I then stayed with her all night and made sure she was ok

The next morning things were said again more arguing then it was said

"Im Leaving" my mum managed to escape after years of abuse and went to a womans aid shelter where they got her a home and she was safe! I was still living with my dad at the time with 1 of my brothers as the other one who was only 10 went to live with my mum!

As sad as it was my mum leaving was even sadder because 3 days later it was Christmas Day! which was one of the worse christmas's I have ever had

so as we headed into 2002 March arrvied and I had met this guy online he was 28 and we had been talking for months and months and I decided to meet him he was in WALES! so things were all happy and going good I moved down to wales in may of 2002 where things were good a couple of years had passed and in 2004 things had started to changed my b/f at that time started to change, his mood would get darker and he would become all possesive one day I spoke back to him and boy did I wish I hadnt! {SLAP} shouted at, called all the names under the sun, at one point I was dragged down the stairs by scruff of my neck, water thrown at me, cups of tea, bowls, he even smashed photos up of my mum I had, was calling her really terrible names.

One night things were so bad he shut me in the spare room took all the blankets away from me, hide my mobile phone, cut the cables to my computer so I wasnt allowed any contact with anyone I was frightended! , crying, shaking, thinking all sorts of things

Next morning he was cold, not talking to me, being ignorant I didnt know what to do, this went on for 3 years I had a hobbie which was media and radio and I came across an internet radio station and I thought I could do this! so I applied and this is where I met Rob he was the owner of the station good looking guy, friendly funny we got on really well so well that we started to have an "online relationship as they call it" at the time I was still with my partner in wales but I didnt consider myself to be in a relationship rob was making me happy smile I felt alive again I felt wanted!

2 months had passed I came down the stairs one morning and Darren the partner in wales was sitting at my computer and said wanna tell me something! I said no? he said whos ROB? and why do you love him? {my jaw dropped} an argument started things were thrown I was hit more things were damaged! darren called his parents who only lived the round the corner came round and had a go at me told me how could I do this ruin his lif etc, { no who cares about me being hit} they didnt belive there son could do this}

I was awake night packing my things while darren was begging me then to stay " I love You" "I wont do it again" the usual stuff! I was determined to get away this time darren was trying to grab my case and wouldnt let me go I threw something his dad then charged up the stairs grabbed my the neck and through me in a wardrobe and said why do that why be stupid I was shaking but still wanting to get out there!

I finally made it out headed to swindon to stay with a friend, 2 weeks later rob came to meet me we were so happy so in love and til this day I am so grateful I met him the love of my life!

MartyJD
04-11-08, 16:03
Hi Tetley thank your kind message, theres so much more I havent put in but over the months I hope to add more and make new friends and hopefully help other people in need to.

DJ Trace
04-11-08, 16:03
Hi Marty,

It's So Nice To See You Here.

Tyvm For Sharing Your Story With Me (I Feel Very Honoured).

I Hope To Chat To You Lots.

((((Marty)))))

Stay Safe My Friend.

Love Trace Xx

MartyJD
04-11-08, 16:04
Thank you tracey and hope to chat lots to! :-)

marie1974
04-11-08, 16:08
hiya and welcome to nmp, wow your story made me breathless reading it, its no wonder u feel so depressed hun.

wot u witnessed with your parents was trully awful and i am so sorry u had to go through that.

welldone to u coming out, even though it shouldnt b a problem in this day and age, i know sometimes it is, so welldone matey.

u will find lots of great advice and support here, u r not alone and u will also make new friends. hugs xxx

MartyJD
04-11-08, 16:19
Hi Donna, I felt I have made friends already people are so helpful and friendly here!

pooh
04-11-08, 16:20
Hi there and welcome along to NMP

Pooh x

MartyJD
04-11-08, 16:21
Hi Pooh! good afternoon to you, thanks for all the lovely welcomes! and I look forward to reading and replying to posts!

suzy-sue
04-11-08, 19:10
welcome marty, i was so sad to read what a terrible time youve had,im glad you found the strength to walk away from that abusive relationship,many dont.Iwish you continued happiness with your partner,and a speedy recovery. lots of love sue:welcome: :hugs: :hugs:

jodie
04-11-08, 19:36
hiya

:welcome: to nmp

jodie xx

kittyk
04-11-08, 21:09
Hello Marty,
You sound like you have had a tough time recently.....glad to see you have found strength. You have been a victim of domestic violence and you have made strong decisions to remedy the situation....well done.I admire your resolve.

spaced
04-11-08, 21:26
hi and welcome

sjh72
05-11-08, 11:12
hello, im also shy and dont know what to say. been on citalopram for 6 days now due to post natal depression, relationship break up and generally feeling lonely. cant wait for even a slight improvement, im not eating and im not sleeping and have a horrible feeling all day and all night. my best and only friend text me last week to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend, totally unexpected and heartbreaking as on top of everything else ive not got my friend or boyfriend in my life now. although he wasnt a great boyfriend as i was ignored throughout my pregnancy by him and was left to do everything with and for my new baby, am trying to 'pull my self together' but its difficult as i dont have anyone 2 talk 2.

MartyJD
05-11-08, 12:01
Hi SJH,

So sorry to hear of the troubles you are going through at the moment, it will take around 3 weeks for the citalopram to fully hit your body and you will start to see a difference, I am currently on 40mg per day and I am noticing improvements each day. I would also suggest you ask your GP to reffer you to see someone possibly a councellor as this could also help you!

sunshine-lady
05-11-08, 19:52
Hi and welcome to NMP Marty

I am also new to here and have found everybody so helpful, chatroom is good too xxx

MartyJD
05-11-08, 21:36
i will hopefully be on the chatroom soon as I gotta wait another 3 days

weeble40
06-11-08, 00:08
Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx