View Full Version : New Challenge Anxiety
Hi all, I am new to the forum and I would love some advice from people who have actually suffered from anxiety themselves.
I was diagnosed in May with Social Phobia and Panic Disorder, although they did say I didn't have panic attacks, more likely they were anxiety attacks.
I have been undergoing CBT and taking citalopram since then and I feel I have moved forward in life, I can now go out alone, go for walks without anxiety setting in and deal with my life a lot better than I could before.
However a bigger challenge has cropped up.
When I was undiagnosed and didn't really know much about anxiety I went to stay with my sister who lives 120 miles away, I have always been anxious about leaving our family home and I am particularly close to my Mum.
I was 19 at the time and like I say I didn't know much about what was happening to me. I did ok for the first two days but then I had a major anxiety attack and went home totally wretched. My sister and I didn't have the best of relationships then and I dont think she understood.
However she has now experienced anxiety herself after a traumatic pregnancy/labour in January and is often apologetic for her treatment of me when I had my anxiety attacks.
Basically she has invited me to stay in two weeks time, she has told me to book a single ticket down and that I am to decide when I am leaving, if I want to go straight away thats fine.
I have made some major progress with my CBT and I would love to be able to freely spend more time down at my Sisters but I am so scared to make that final push and go ahead with it....I guess I'm wondering what your opinions would be on the matter. Am I ready to go? Am I needlesly holding myself back?
Sorry for the long post! :)
Welcome to the site :hugs:
You sound a lot like me in your posts, I don't like leaving my family home either and I live with my boyfriend and my mum who i am very very close to.
You can do it hun, I know it will be a big step for you but it will be good for you. I find the only way to tackle my anxiety is to battle it head on, but then everyone is different. Put your CBT into practice and take any sheets with you, keep in contact with your mum and you won't be alone, you'll have your sister there with you who knows how you feel. If you have plans set in place you'll be fine :hugs:
If you need any more advice etc just pm me xx
Thank's for the reply Cherbear, I have always been really close to my parents, were an Italian-English family and family has always been our Number one priority really.
Thanks for your words of encouragement, I have loads of sheets from my CBT and tomorrow I want to sit down and look through them all. How does your anxiety affect your day to day life if you dont mind me asking? :)
I'm from an Italian-English family too!
I found it helped when I took my sheets away with me as I was doing CBT at the time of my two summer holidays. It kept me going that I had a plan in place as to where I was going to be and when I was going to call my mum.
Without being too bleak it does affect my every day life, it consumes my mind all the time. However I do get good days and I just embrace those because my mind feels free. I just tend to suddenly switch between feeling great to awful. I am taking counselling though so I am taking steps forward to getting better. I'm lucky to have amazing support from my mum and boyfriend who are incredibly understanding. It sounds like you are close to your family and that is great, it always helps me to know I have support xx
Hi Guys,
I am Lucky to live with extended family and hate also being away from my family home as its my safe place.
So I can fully understand your problem.
I have found personally through my years of struggle you can only do it when your ready and certainly not to please others.
i have also found that the longer i have to think about it the more time i have to talk myself out of it.
I too am up for a huge challenge this weekend.
I am due to go away for a day and a night to visit friends and the longer I have had to dwell on it the harder its becoming.
Over the years i have learnt to go out with my safe people which is either my husband or my youngest son (who is 20 Years old).
A month ago this stepped up to me going out with the same friends I am due to stay with for a day at the seaside which i hadnt been too for many years and the day went well and I throughly enjoyed it.
For me through i need to be home by dark as thats when my panic attacks are the worse.
I am still however going to do this huge challenge and this time i am taking my cam corder to record it all as i do it.
I do however feel i am now ready to take this next step.
I feel I have more strength knowing i can share with everyone here and i feel ready to push myself further as you guys have given so much inspiration and understanding.
So Maybe my trip and knowing i am going through the same may help you my friend.
Stay Safe And Well.
God Bless.
Love Trace Xx
Hi Tracey
This will make you a stronger person inside, you have already conquered the first step by going out with friends to the beach! which I hope you had a lovely time
Your friends will hopefully understand how you feel and will make you comfortable this weekend
So go out there with your head up high and smile!
You can do this!
x
Trace, the bit in your post about talking yourself out of things really made me smile cause I do it all the time.
I've just realised I've got a hospital appointment on the day I'd planned to go so I may have to leave it to a week or so later.
I hope your challenge goes well Trace, well done on taking another step forward. It does help to know that I am not alone with my anxiety about travelling away from home, I don't think anyone can fully understand what anxiety and panic feels like unless they have suffered from it.
I'll be thinking of you on your trip, all the best xx :)
I'm from an Italian-English family too!
I found it helped when I took my sheets away with me as I was doing CBT at the time of my two summer holidays. It kept me going that I had a plan in place as to where I was going to be and when I was going to call my mum.
Without being too bleak it does affect my every day life, it consumes my mind all the time. However I do get good days and I just embrace those because my mind feels free. I just tend to suddenly switch between feeling great to awful. I am taking counselling though so I am taking steps forward to getting better. I'm lucky to have amazing support from my mum and boyfriend who are incredibly understanding. It sounds like you are close to your family and that is great, it always helps me to know I have support xx
Oh your from an Italian English family too! How cool! How long did you do CBT for? I am coming to the end of mine and I am doubting whether I have actually achieved much with it. I also switch between feeling good and feeling awful, today is such an awful day I didn't get out of bed till noon...I wish I could just feel normal for a change.
I only did it for four weeks and it really wasn't enough. I know how you feel, I didn't feel like I achieved much but it does help so people. What sort of things have you done? Thought records?
I'm sorry you are having a bad day, so am I...my anxiety is raging. Horrible isn't it :( *huge hugs to you* xx
I only did it for four weeks and it really wasn't enough. I know how you feel, I didn't feel like I achieved much but it does help so people. What sort of things have you done? Thought records?
I'm sorry you are having a bad day, so am I...my anxiety is raging. Horrible isn't it :( *huge hugs to you* xx
I have done a positive thought diary, which I found impossible because I have such low self esteem. We did a chart about situations, fears, evidence and new feelings.
We went over one issue in the past I got all upset and she didnt mention it again! I don't think it's been what I was hoping for.
Did you find people didn't/still dont understand what you are going through and treat you differently?
I find my close friends (well just one of them) and my mum and boyfriend have been amazingly supportive and have never treated me differently. I have noticed a difference in my uni friends though, it's a fickle environment and because I don't go out much now they treat me differently xx
I only really have one friend and she's stuck with me since we were both three so I'm lucky there, I guess I mean family. I went to stay with relatives in France and I had a massive anxiety attack out there, I was so bad I kept being sick and in the end was five pound lighter when I arrived home four days later, and my uncle was screaming about an inch from my face how pathetic it was and how I'd ruin mum and dads lives one day, I guess thats part of my fear of going away...I'm still worried my parents wont want me soon.
Oh I am so sorry that happened with your uncle :( but it's not true, they are your parents and they love you for you and there for you through good and bad times xx
My CBT therapist works me very hard and gets me to come to that conclusion but I've always been insecure and clingy to my parents and my massive fear is that I'll lose them. Although sometimes it can get lonely having no one outside my immediate family and best mate...it's a bit of a catch 22 for me, I can't seem to interact with new people but I do seem to want to make new friends! :huh: I cant figure myself out sometimes!
I know how you feel, I feel like that with my mum. We're very close as it has always been us two and my biggest fear is losing her. I feel like I'm clingy even now I'm 22, I'm not very independent. I only really have 2 or 3 good friends and my boyfriend and mum and don't tend to socialise much but you sound like you have a great best mate and loving parents which is a great support for you xx
I am very lucky but Doctors and Therapists make me feel very abnormal and often say with a horror to their voice your family are your main social network, thats not right, blah blah blah....just makes me feel so rubbish and then I end up hurting my family by trying to block them out.
I know you must feel caught between feelings but there is honestly nothing wrong with your family being your support!! I'm not judging your doctors/therapists but my family is all that has got me through the hard times xx
Sorry I'm a bit whingey tonight, just having one of those rubbish days. Thanks for listening xx! I know it's ok to be close to my family, in fact i'm proud of it, but I guess I see the point of my therapist about making new friends etc!
That's ok I can relate to everything you have said. Don't apoligise, if you need a moan just pm me xx
Thank you and the same to you, if I can lend an ear to you please pm me too :) xx
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