lamentinglaura
05-11-08, 20:46
I posted much of this information before, so I apologize to those reading it for the second time. I guess I just need to get this off my chest. Writing it out helps.
I'm 43 and a smoker. Back in the summer I was experiencing discomfort in my right lung which really upset me and prompted me to try to quit smoking. Then in August I was getting little sharp pains near my collar bone so I started poking around and found a small swollen lymph node. I didn't freak out too much at that point. I took a course of antibiotics but it didn't go away. I went to my GP and she checked it but couldn't really feel anything but made a referral to a surgeon.
Meanwhile, I had myself convinced that this lump was something horrible and that I had either lung cancer or breast cancer and it had spread. I asked for a mammogram and a chest x-ray. Both came back clear.
I eventually got in to see the surgeon and he couldn't really feel anything but ordered a CT scan of my neck. I told him I felt pressure in the ear on that side. He looked at my throat but didn't see anything.
My nerves were totally shot waiting for the results of the scan. I finally got in to see the surgeon a month later. The lump was still there and seemed bigger. This time he could feel the lump but said it still felt pretty small. He said the scan showed some swollen lymph nodes up by my jaw and another in the triangle near my collar bone. I think he said it measured 5 mm. He told me they don't do a biopsy unless the lump is 1 cm or more because general anesthetic is used and there's risks with that. Another scan is to be done in January to see if the lump is growing. If it is, a biopsy will be done then. His next words nearly put me into shock. He said, "If it's CANCER then the time between now and January won't make a difference." He then told me that 99% of adults have swollen nodes and to not worry.
Needless to say, since I have health anxiety, the fear escalated a thousandfold. It became my sole focus. I started worrying about throat cancer so went to my GP. She checked my ear due to the pressure I feel and said that I had fluid in that ear and gave me a nasal spray to take. I asked if I could see an Ears, Nose, and Throat doctor. She sent a referral in that I haven't heard anything back on yet.
Meanwhile, I'm still having discomfort in the ear and also the tonsil and side of the tongue on the same side as the swollen nodes. Antibiotics do nothing. I've had this discomfort on and off for a long time .. at least sice last year. I have myself absolutely convinced that I have throat cancer.
On top of this I still feel discomfort in my right lung. I've been trying desperately to quit smoking but my nerves have been so shot that I've been smoking more. I find it extremely hard to function. All I can think about is cancer and dying. It invades every minute of my day. I've tried to distract myself in a million different ways but nothing seems to work. I'm already on medication for OCD and even with an increase the thoughts won't go away.
Any comments or suggestions would be really really appreciated
I'm 43 and a smoker. Back in the summer I was experiencing discomfort in my right lung which really upset me and prompted me to try to quit smoking. Then in August I was getting little sharp pains near my collar bone so I started poking around and found a small swollen lymph node. I didn't freak out too much at that point. I took a course of antibiotics but it didn't go away. I went to my GP and she checked it but couldn't really feel anything but made a referral to a surgeon.
Meanwhile, I had myself convinced that this lump was something horrible and that I had either lung cancer or breast cancer and it had spread. I asked for a mammogram and a chest x-ray. Both came back clear.
I eventually got in to see the surgeon and he couldn't really feel anything but ordered a CT scan of my neck. I told him I felt pressure in the ear on that side. He looked at my throat but didn't see anything.
My nerves were totally shot waiting for the results of the scan. I finally got in to see the surgeon a month later. The lump was still there and seemed bigger. This time he could feel the lump but said it still felt pretty small. He said the scan showed some swollen lymph nodes up by my jaw and another in the triangle near my collar bone. I think he said it measured 5 mm. He told me they don't do a biopsy unless the lump is 1 cm or more because general anesthetic is used and there's risks with that. Another scan is to be done in January to see if the lump is growing. If it is, a biopsy will be done then. His next words nearly put me into shock. He said, "If it's CANCER then the time between now and January won't make a difference." He then told me that 99% of adults have swollen nodes and to not worry.
Needless to say, since I have health anxiety, the fear escalated a thousandfold. It became my sole focus. I started worrying about throat cancer so went to my GP. She checked my ear due to the pressure I feel and said that I had fluid in that ear and gave me a nasal spray to take. I asked if I could see an Ears, Nose, and Throat doctor. She sent a referral in that I haven't heard anything back on yet.
Meanwhile, I'm still having discomfort in the ear and also the tonsil and side of the tongue on the same side as the swollen nodes. Antibiotics do nothing. I've had this discomfort on and off for a long time .. at least sice last year. I have myself absolutely convinced that I have throat cancer.
On top of this I still feel discomfort in my right lung. I've been trying desperately to quit smoking but my nerves have been so shot that I've been smoking more. I find it extremely hard to function. All I can think about is cancer and dying. It invades every minute of my day. I've tried to distract myself in a million different ways but nothing seems to work. I'm already on medication for OCD and even with an increase the thoughts won't go away.
Any comments or suggestions would be really really appreciated