noonoo
06-11-08, 05:33
My first one since April, as some of you know that one was my first, this was my second.
I hate that i'm having to write about this again, I thought i'd moved on and started to get on with my life. Things are/were getting better. I've just got a new job, started belly dancing lessons which are so much fun, and I found out today that I won a competition for a handbag worth £65.00.
Whatever could be wrong now?!
I was going to bed rather late I admit, 3am this morning, I turned my light off and crawled into bed. I was okay and then started feeling shakey and couldn't get these thoughts (of wanting to harm someone or doing something horrible to someone) out of my head. I thought they'd go but they got worse so I sat up and turned the light back on, I sat back down on my bed and took some deep breaths, then walked around the room slowly and by then I knew I was having an attack. I am on 80mg once a day of Propranalol and have been since May and i'm not sure what to do now. I sat back on my bed and was almost sick but managed to calm myself enough to hold it back, then took more deep breaths but then eventually had to run to the toilet to be sick... twice!! It was horrible and I had tears coming down my face. After that I went to wake my parents up, my dad gave me a cuddle and I went back into my bedroom and chatted on the phone to my friend who was luckily still awake until 5am. I still feel really really on edge, unsure, confused and shaking.
Please, please reply if you can help me or give me some advice.
Thankyou so much if you read this.
xxx
I hate that i'm having to write about this again, I thought i'd moved on and started to get on with my life. Things are/were getting better. I've just got a new job, started belly dancing lessons which are so much fun, and I found out today that I won a competition for a handbag worth £65.00.
Whatever could be wrong now?!
I was going to bed rather late I admit, 3am this morning, I turned my light off and crawled into bed. I was okay and then started feeling shakey and couldn't get these thoughts (of wanting to harm someone or doing something horrible to someone) out of my head. I thought they'd go but they got worse so I sat up and turned the light back on, I sat back down on my bed and took some deep breaths, then walked around the room slowly and by then I knew I was having an attack. I am on 80mg once a day of Propranalol and have been since May and i'm not sure what to do now. I sat back on my bed and was almost sick but managed to calm myself enough to hold it back, then took more deep breaths but then eventually had to run to the toilet to be sick... twice!! It was horrible and I had tears coming down my face. After that I went to wake my parents up, my dad gave me a cuddle and I went back into my bedroom and chatted on the phone to my friend who was luckily still awake until 5am. I still feel really really on edge, unsure, confused and shaking.
Please, please reply if you can help me or give me some advice.
Thankyou so much if you read this.
xxx