Fear of flying - or maybe not...

[wavey]

Hi there,

I used to think I was afraid of flying but realised over the years that this is actually just a normal concern that many people have. After all, it's not a normal situation for most of us.

I've realised that my fear is something to do with not being able to get out of the situation and also having people around me when the panic takes hold. Bizarrely - if I was the only passenger on the flight I'd be fine.

I had a massive panic attack on an aircraft years ago. I considered running off but managed to stay on and held on through more attacks during the flight home - luckily it was only a 55minute flight. But that flight is etched on my memory.

Since that flight all those years ago I have flown quite a few long haul flights. I've had the occasional wave of panic but know enough to let it pass and 'relax'.

However, in a couple of weeks time I am flying to LA (12 hours) and realised that I have a seat in the middle of a row with 2 passangers either side! This has started the old 'what ifs' and now I am thinking about the waves of panic that will keep hitting me from as soon as I get ontp the plane until I get to the other side.

Then of course there's the flight home! Somewhere in the middle of this I am supposed to be enjoying a holiday! I sort of wish I could enjoy holidays like most people but there is always that panic attack waiting in the background.

I wonder if anyone has any tips for making the flight easier or ways to change the thought process?

Thanks,
Davey

[Cathy V]

Hi davey, well ive never flown long-haul, but since moving over to germany i fly back to UK at least 4 times a year, and im due to fly back for a week at christmas. Ok its only a 1 and a half hour flight each way but i still have to get through it! One thing i always do is to book the flight online because then i can also book my seat and i prefer to sit within the first 4 rows, then i dont have the whole plane full of people in front of me.

Then I tell myself that the staff who serve us on the plane are doing this every day. Its their job just like my job was in an office, and they do it all day every day, every week, every month, every year. If they can fly backwards and forwards this much, then surely i can fly just once in a while. This seems to help me anyway. Well that and the glass of wine i have too :D

Cathy xxx

[LoveMusic]

Would the airline consider a switch if you called and explained?

I don't like flying at all, and I only took short-hauls, but I just focused on compiling a good Ipod list - calming music, audiobook or podcast. I just tried to relax and forget where I was.

I also remembered how plane accidents are extremely rare. If you are going to LA for something good, plan your trip, write a letter to a friend. Can you take a laptop onboard?

[nicgrace]

Hi Davey,

I am having the same problem, yet I have travelled so much over the years, even as a child and never been scared.

I seem to panic when I am away from my comfort blanket and I have got it in my head that the only place safe when I have anxiety is home.

I recently (july) went to Spain and was in the process of coming off medication and the holiday was awful! Withdrawal symptons didnt ease and I ended up having full blown anxiety for the remainder of the holiday. I was so close to seeing if I could exchange my flight to get me home earlier!!!

The flight home was terrible and I hated every moment and I too now seem to relate back to this occasion.

I am due to fly to Australia on Xmas Day and I am already getting in a tizz. My counsellor has advised to take loads of books and my GP has also suggessted that I should maybe take a diazepam befpre my flight?

I suppose if we say to ourselves 'what if' then it will happen.......have to remian positive and not reinforce anxiety!

Nic x

[Meltdown]

I used to be fairly OK with flying. I never really looked forward to it, but used to view it with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

Now I can't face the idea, and have recently turned down some overseas trips for work because of it. My boss is fairly understanding.

It's largely the feeling of being trapped in a small space, and being unable to leave that bothers me!

Funnily enough, the times that I have flown, I haven't actually had a full-on panic attack!

[avery]

Hi Wavey,

I think the fact that you have been able to do short flights and taught yourself how to relax is a fantastic skill and one I believe you could use again on long haul flights.

I would probably get a serapax, valium or whatever benzo to calm you down if you need it... take a box with you.

I myself get anxious just thinking of going on a flight, so I envy your abilities.

Avery

[wavey]

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I must admit - I've bought an ipod and put loads of radio show podcasts and music on it to help take my mind off where I am although I don't like to rely on something like that too much as I feel it adds to the anxiety. I just wish I could relax like most people seem to be doing.

Over the years I've tried to work out what I am afraid of and I really think it's a combination of things; the fact I am in a place that I can't get out of, the fact that something might happen to me and I can't get out. In fact after writing those sentences it looks like I don't like being trapped in a situation!!

The thing is, it's not claustrophobia because I would be fine if there were only a few people on the flight. Maybe I am afraid of making a scene infront of other people?

I have the same thoughts about going on the underground when it's full or on a crowded coach journey. It's so strange but it definitely effects the choices I make in certain areas of my life. Does anyone else have the same dilemma?

My flight is on Thursday!!!!

.....and relax

[nicgrace]

I have the same thoughts.....I keep telling myself that a holiday is supposed to be enjoyable but I am still worried that anxiety might get the better of me.

Best thing to do is take something before you fly....think I will take a 5mg diazepam an hour before, then have lots of good books, music that you like and maybe even a good puzzle book?

Have a great trip and try to enjoy the break

x

[cwoz82]

I used to fly all the time as a professional athlete, i got claustrophobic on one flight, had a panic attack and now have a mental block around flying, it developed from Claustrophobia into full blown fear of flying, so much so that it pretty much ruined me athletic career and when i got married in June our honeymoon was in france so that we could drive...i went on holiday 4 years ago and got so wound up before going about flying that i was having nightmares, i never truly relaxed on holiday for the fear of flying back and now my Husband has bought us a campervan so we can holiday in the UK and europe so i don't have to fly.
i have had panic attacks since i was a child, had no fear of flying until this one incident, now i can't imagine myself ever getting on a plane again for the fear of flying and the fear of having a panic attack.

[cwoz82]

I used to fly all the time as a professional athlete, i got claustrophobic on one flight, had a panic attack and now have a mental block around flying, it developed from Claustrophobia into full blown fear of flying, so much so that it pretty much ruined me athletic career and when i got married in June our honeymoon was in france so that we could drive...i went on holiday 4 years ago and got so wound up before going about flying that i was having nightmares, i never truly relaxed on holiday for the fear of flying back and now my Husband has bought us a campervan so we can holiday in the UK and europe so i don't have to fly.
i have had panic attacks since i was a child, had no fear of flying until this one incident, now i can't imagine myself ever getting on a plane again for the fear of flying and the fear of having a panic attack.

[wavey]

Hi everyone,

I think I actually have a fear of fear if you know what I mean. I've seen a few people write the same thing on here.

It's the thought of the attacks and waves of panic on an aircraft that cause anxiety beforehand. However, I believe that it IS possible to live with the reactions I am feeling. After all it's only adrenalin, fight & flight or whatever you like to call it, coming at the wrong time - the body's natural defence.

Claire Weekes was right to say that you shouldn't start the panic with scarey and 'what if' thoughts and also, don't start on the scarey thoughts if you have an attack you weren't expecting. Easy to say but possible to achieve with a lot of practice.

I find that when I feel a panicky feeling starting (I've had enough experience to know!), the best thing to do is to take a deep breath and breathe out as slowly as I can. If you do it a couple of times, the panic feelings go. This shows that we can control the feelings - a great comfort to some people.

As long as you don't add to the panic by starting on those 'what if 'thoughts, you can get through the attack. Afterwards, always congratulate yourself for getting through it.

I would also like to add that other situations can cause 'what if' thoughts or 'fuzzy' thinking. By that I mean, times when you can't think straight e.g. before/during illness, through lack of sleep, if you have a hangover, if you don't eat regularly etc. I have learnt not to be fooled by this type of 'fuzzy thinking' and always do a check list if I feel panicky. Quite often it's down to lack of sleep.

My flight is on thursday and I am feeling strangely calm - woohoo! :yesyes:

Davey

P.S. Hadley Shanika - I know what a fear of flying is and as I have pointed out, that isn't the problem. Please take the time to read a thread before posting.