happydays
08-11-08, 01:22
I have just found this website, if only it was around back in the early 1990's when I was 17 yrs old suffering with these debilitating panic attacks. Instead no one I knew had ever mentioned panic attacks, my parents, family and friends had never heard of it back then. I didn't know what I was suffering with.
It all started with my first job when I left college, I hated my boss and my job, I would wake up go to the bathroom and feel extremely sick with nerves, then after a while the panic attacks started. At first I thought I was dying and after approx 10 attacks a day I felt like I just wanted to die, the attacks were so exhausting. I suffered for months, my doctor never mentioned the words panic attack, I was just 'run down' and 'over worrying' about life in general. The doctor offered beta blockers but thankfully my mother advised me not to take them. At first my mother despaired of me didn't know what to do with me, I think she almost tried to beat it out of me on a couple of occasions, she just hoped I could pull myself together! She took me to herbalists and for other second opinions, she tried to help, but was at the end of her tether with me. It hurt me so much seeing her so upset, I felt like a terrible failure to her, it just made me worse upsetting her. I spent hours and days sitting in my bedroom not knowing what to do to try to help myself, trying breathing exercises everyday then throwing the diagrams of the exercises across my room in anger when my body threw me into another attack, it felt so useless, the attacks just wouldn't let up. The attacks got worse before they got better, on some occasions as soon as I awoke in the morning, as soon as I was conscious and opened my eyes I would have a panic attack, so awful.
I can now see how my body and mind were exhausted from THINKING/WORRYING TOO MUCH and I just needed to rest. I learnt after many months to just let the attack pass, not fight it, talk to myself in my head try to learn not to breath from my chest and tell myself that I wasn't going to die. I also learnt of other people with panic attacks, that knowing there were other people with exactly the same symtoms gave me such relief. I also didn't watch the news on TV as this is full of depressing news, I watched 'nice' positive programmes and to this day I cannot watch drama on the TV or dark films!! After a couple of months of good rest I slowly regained my appetite and energy levels and began to venture out with friends and enjoy my evenings, also discussing what was wrong with me with friends really helped. I didn't feel like the 'weird one' or excluded from normal life which really helped me and the panic attacks became less frequent. i then got a job in the middle of the city, dealing with sitting on an overcrowded train and tube everyday, I can tell you the first month was exhausting, I was constantly conscious that people were looking at me, I didn't want them to see me have a panic attack, I had to constantly tell myself for the whole journey to stay calm, that I can cope if I have an attack. It took me nearly two years to completely eradicate these attacks from my life, but of course this is not the case for everyone, I have a friend who suffered for a few months and then recovered. I think the fact that I'm a sensitive person, quite shy and always worrying about the future that i just took the weight of the world on my shoulders and this mental worrying can not only exhaust you mentally but physically too, that's why when you get these attacks you just need to rest, to train your mind and body to shut out as many negative thoughts and images as possible, surround yourself with positive things to do. I listened to the calming voice tapes/dvd's and these helped me enormously to calm and relax my breathing and to just give my mind and body a break. If you do this often enough you are allowing your body and mind to properly rest, which will enable you to deal much easier with any further attacks and build up your stamina and appetite. I'm in my early 30's now and haven't experienced any attacks since those dark days of my teens! You can overcome these terrible panic attacks! :winks:
It all started with my first job when I left college, I hated my boss and my job, I would wake up go to the bathroom and feel extremely sick with nerves, then after a while the panic attacks started. At first I thought I was dying and after approx 10 attacks a day I felt like I just wanted to die, the attacks were so exhausting. I suffered for months, my doctor never mentioned the words panic attack, I was just 'run down' and 'over worrying' about life in general. The doctor offered beta blockers but thankfully my mother advised me not to take them. At first my mother despaired of me didn't know what to do with me, I think she almost tried to beat it out of me on a couple of occasions, she just hoped I could pull myself together! She took me to herbalists and for other second opinions, she tried to help, but was at the end of her tether with me. It hurt me so much seeing her so upset, I felt like a terrible failure to her, it just made me worse upsetting her. I spent hours and days sitting in my bedroom not knowing what to do to try to help myself, trying breathing exercises everyday then throwing the diagrams of the exercises across my room in anger when my body threw me into another attack, it felt so useless, the attacks just wouldn't let up. The attacks got worse before they got better, on some occasions as soon as I awoke in the morning, as soon as I was conscious and opened my eyes I would have a panic attack, so awful.
I can now see how my body and mind were exhausted from THINKING/WORRYING TOO MUCH and I just needed to rest. I learnt after many months to just let the attack pass, not fight it, talk to myself in my head try to learn not to breath from my chest and tell myself that I wasn't going to die. I also learnt of other people with panic attacks, that knowing there were other people with exactly the same symtoms gave me such relief. I also didn't watch the news on TV as this is full of depressing news, I watched 'nice' positive programmes and to this day I cannot watch drama on the TV or dark films!! After a couple of months of good rest I slowly regained my appetite and energy levels and began to venture out with friends and enjoy my evenings, also discussing what was wrong with me with friends really helped. I didn't feel like the 'weird one' or excluded from normal life which really helped me and the panic attacks became less frequent. i then got a job in the middle of the city, dealing with sitting on an overcrowded train and tube everyday, I can tell you the first month was exhausting, I was constantly conscious that people were looking at me, I didn't want them to see me have a panic attack, I had to constantly tell myself for the whole journey to stay calm, that I can cope if I have an attack. It took me nearly two years to completely eradicate these attacks from my life, but of course this is not the case for everyone, I have a friend who suffered for a few months and then recovered. I think the fact that I'm a sensitive person, quite shy and always worrying about the future that i just took the weight of the world on my shoulders and this mental worrying can not only exhaust you mentally but physically too, that's why when you get these attacks you just need to rest, to train your mind and body to shut out as many negative thoughts and images as possible, surround yourself with positive things to do. I listened to the calming voice tapes/dvd's and these helped me enormously to calm and relax my breathing and to just give my mind and body a break. If you do this often enough you are allowing your body and mind to properly rest, which will enable you to deal much easier with any further attacks and build up your stamina and appetite. I'm in my early 30's now and haven't experienced any attacks since those dark days of my teens! You can overcome these terrible panic attacks! :winks: