I'm not coping very well at the moment and don't know what to do anymore

[Vicki08]

I dont know if I'm posting this in the right place but I really need to get some things off my chest and I feel like I have nobody to talk to at home.:weep:

I feel really really alone and scared and if anybody can give me some help then I will be so grateful.

I have been dealing with general anxiety, health anxiety, panic attacks, IBS and ectopic beats for about a year now. I was admitted to A&E last year and had a load of tests done (ECG, bloods, urine, blood pressure, sugars, physical exam) and they said it was just anxiety and referred me to my GP who in turn prescribed a whole load of drugs and I had some councelling too. The drugs didnt really work out for me so I decided to take the hard route and try and get better on my own.

Anyway, I've been struggling with this horrible anxiety and have had times when I have felt really good and times when I have felt really low. However, at this moment in time I feel lower than I have ever felt before and I dont know how to make things better. I cant cope and I am scared.

It all started about 2 weeks ago, I was up for redundancy at work (luckily I kept my job) but lost a lot of good friends at work who were made redundant. I work with mortgages and things are not that good at the moment and my boss has kind of said there will be more redundancies. I am terrified as me and my fella bought a place and are in the middle of doing it up, however money is running out and we got lots to do and we have now found out that all the central heating needs replacing. It was meant to be a new start for us and it feels like it is all going wrong.

Last week my mum was admitted to hospital and has been really unwell. She is my world and to see her ill is just awful. My car hasn't passed its MOT and needs a whole load of work. I dont know how I am going to afford it. Also my dentist has said I need root cancel on one of my teeth and I am absolutely petrified of having this work done. Also, my brother who I am really close to has kind of gone AWOL and is having a lot of problems and I dont know how to help him - its horrible seeing him like this.

To top it all, I have been having some awful palpitations that are scaring the living daylights out of me. Sometimes it feels like my heart will stop. They feel worse then what I have had before. My doctor tells me that I only had tests last year and my heart wouldnt suddenly get a life threatening disease in such a short space of time. Do you think I need more tests? I dont know.

I just want to feel better. Today, I am finding it hard to breathe and I tried doing some exercise but these horrible palpitations stopped my in my tracks. I am also worried about this splinter thing in my nail (I posted about this a while ago) I have a docs appt next week for this but am really scared it is something serious. I have had a cold for a week now and I feel so tired. I keep waking up in the night terrified.

I feel like I am cracking up. I cant talk to my best friend as she has her own problems, my mum is too unwell to talk to and my fella is also facing redundancy and I dont want to burden him with how I'm feeling.

I dont know how to get through this. I feel so run down and so unwell.

I used to be so strong and I could cope with anything, even when my Dad left home and my mum had a nervous breakdown, I held everything together but now I feel such a failure. :weep:

I am really scared that something is seriously wrong with me.:scared15:

I'm sorry for the long post but I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading and listening - it means a lot to me.

Vicki xxx

[andie73]

Hi Vicki
Firstly you are not on your own, there are lots of people here who understand how you are feeling. So that's a big help.

You have had all the necessary tests done to rule out anything physical so you know these feelings are anxiety based. You will also know that anxiety is completely harmless. So trust me nothing bad will happen to you.

You have been through changes at work with people being made redundant and you will have been sooo worried about your own job too. That is bound to raise your anxiety.

Then on top of that your mam is ill, your car is out of action, you central heating's on the blink, you need dentistry work doing and your hubby's job is uncertain. Now I'm a bit of a softie, but that sounds like a lot for anyone to cope with. No wonder you are feeling anxious. Try to look at things individually and then it won't seem so bad.

You kept your job so although it's awful that your friends have gone, you will re adjust in time. Try to keep in touch with them so that you still have those ties. Your mam is in the best possible place if she is unwell, you should talk to the nurses at the hospital and they may help to put your mind at rest there. The car is a pain, as is the central heating, but that's life. My freezers gone off today and I've lost about £60 worth of meat. I'm sooo angry but what can you do. Just shrug and carry on, it's not really important in the bigger picture.:shrug:

It's no doubt that you are anxious but these feelings cannot hurt you. Try to get some me time, relax in a hot bubble bath with some lavender oil in, go for a walk or whatever helps you to switch off a bit.:sleep:

The palpitations etc are just symptoms brought on by anxiety. They will calm of there own accord. Try to ignore them as much as you can.

If you need to talk pm me any time.

[marie1974]

hiya matey, u sound a very strong person to me and u sound like u took alot on your shoulders, responsibility wise.

you know sometimes we cant do it all and we hit a wall and need a little support and our bodies give us signs that we are over doing things and we need to slow down, i get like this sometimes.

you will get support on here and advice, also mayb try talk to your friends or bf cos support close to u is really helpful and we all have problems but a problem shared is a problem halfed and all that and i think u sound lovely and just need a break and some time to yourself.

i find walking helps a lot if i am stressed i power wak through my anger hehe it really helps.
hugs xx

[Vicki08]

Thank you both so much for your replies. You have helped me so much. I feel a bit better now.

Earlier I was just in a complete state of panic and feeling hopeless. I am going to go and have a bath, just been out and bought some posh lavender bubble bath (I really cant afford it - I just wont tell my other half!! :noangel: ) so will try and have some relaxing time. I just find it so hard to switch my thoughts off, my mind races from one thing to the next. No wonder my heart is beating 100 beats a minute!:doh:

My mum seems to be ok so thats one good thing although the treatment she has is making her feel a little dizzy and her blood pressure is a bit on the low side.

Everyone in my family keeps telling me to be strong but if I get any stronger then I will end up like Arnold schwarzenegger!!!

Thanks again for your replies, you are really sweet and I'm very grateful :bighug1:

Vicki xxxx

[marie1974]

hi hun, its ok being strong but we all need a break at times, i hope u got someone to b there for u too matey cos even little things like hugs make the world of difference, enjoy your bath xxxxxxx