PDA

View Full Version : Hello to all!



msl08
10-11-08, 16:21
Hi.
I am new on here. I hope you all well, i have read some of your posts and actually felt a little better. I have felt so alone in my little world for so long i thought i would see if there were anyone else out there who had the same feelings as me.
I am married with 3 children. I have, since i was about 13 (i am now 31) had a really bad self distructive behaviour. I can never allow myself to be happy, its almost like, when i feel that i am having a good day, i realise, then try to bring myself down. Thats when i start to panic and think of all the bad stuff that has ever happened in my life. I think, "i remember being happy before that thing happened," then my mind goes into overdrive. Always thinking, thinking, then the more i think, the more i panic. I live in the past constantly, I think about all the stuff i have ever done or that has happened in my life and imagine it all coming back to bite me on the bum. It almost feels like someone is saying "i havent finished with you yet". I was abit of a lost soul a few years ago and did things that i am ashamed of, so, maybe it is guilt and just.
My little sister died last year suddenly of an asthama attack, she was only 24. We used to fight so much when we were younger, but in the last 3 years we both just clicked. We used to call her baby (as she was the baby of the family), but she was always the strong one out of the two of us. She was the favorite and never did anything to hurt anyone. I sometimes wish i could take her place, just to spare my mum and dad of the grief they are still going through. It breaks my heart to watch them, but, i feel i have to be strong round them.
I know this post sounds like i am still grieving, but my every day anguish and anxiety has nothing to do with my sister. I dont like to go out of the house, because i feel safer inside, but then i spend the rest of the day hating myself for not going out. I moved house 3 months ago, because i was doing the exact same thing in my old place, i thought it would be a good change, new beginings and all that, but i just cant snap myself out of it. I will have a bottle of wine in the evenings to make myself feel better, then feel bad for polluting my body and not handling stuff properly. I feel overwhelmed all the time, being in a car, thinking, analizing every little thing that i have said to someone, thinking again, wether my husband is going to come home from work, if the kids are going to make it back from school, waiting for phone calls of bad news, thinking more!!! How can one person think so much at the same time, all the time!!?? It feels like everything has to be at a million miles an hour all the time. xx

nicgrace
10-11-08, 16:44
Hi msl08,

I tend to have a similar problem and dont understand why I cant accept my life. I have a good job, brilliant husband, loads of friends, a family that love me dearly and to be honest I am normally a confident outgoing girl....BUT the negativity within me is terrible and I am too struggling to overcome it.

Have you tried any kind of relaxation or something to take your mind of the thoughts as its the thoughts that fuel your anxiety. I have recently started reading, proper girly novels with happy storylines etc and I think they have made a massive difference. They also help sending me to sleep.

Swimming is also brilliant and releases tension from the shoulders & neck.

My dad has also told me to replace a negative thought with a positive one. Something simple but something that counteracts that negativity?

Hope this helps

Nic x

spaced
10-11-08, 16:48
:welcome: hi and welcome to the site

msl08
10-11-08, 17:18
Hi nicgrace.

I tryed hypnotherapy a couple of years ago, but it didnt work. Maybe i just wasnt ready, i dont know. Plus, its £40 a session, money i dont have, no job, 3 kids, christmas etc. you know how it is. I might take your advice about the book thing, i used to read loads of child memoirs thinking that, once i had read them, i would appreciate what i had, but it just used to make me more depressed. I cant stop thinking for long enough hun to relax, i feels like a vicious circle. Like you i have everything that anyone could ever want, people find me funny and i appear to be a happy-go-lucky girl, but im not happy, slowly and slowly i have shut myself off from everyone, i seem to be hellbent on putting obstacles in every avenue and making myself unhappy. And the more i try to tell myself i am being irrational and silly, the more i think, well, it has to be just, doesnt it? to have popped in my head in the first place, you know, like setting yourself up for a fall or happily minding your bussiness being happy with life and then something bad happening to ruin it all.I will try what your dad tells you to do. Do you find that you are more distracted going to work? or does it effect you there as well? Thank you for your suggestions

maz.xx

suzy-sue
10-11-08, 17:27
HI AND WELCOME, IM SURE YOULL FIND LOTS OF HELP HERE SUZY:welcome:

weeble40
10-11-08, 20:26
Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx

msl08
10-11-08, 21:02
thank you everyone.xx

pooh
10-11-08, 22:33
Hi there and welcome along to NMP

Pooh x

nicgrace
11-11-08, 11:24
Hi msl08,

Dont read books such as child memoirs....I did and it made me even more depressed. You need happy girly chick books. I bought all my books second hand on ebay....a really great author I like is Marian Keyes...she is so bubbly but relaistic. Hard to put down trust me.

Work is a must for me....I had 5 weeks off work and I think it made me worse. I had far too much time on my hands to think. Although I must admit I enjoyed doing swimming and some of the gym classes that are on in the day.

Don't get me wrong it was so hard coming back and I went through loads of diazepam and proponanol but I knew it was something that I had to do to get some normallity back in my life. The easiest thing to do is give in and stay in bed all day but that made me feel guilty afterwards.

Even voluntary work could help, or part time. Something you think you would enjoy (maybe helping people or working with animals?)

Hope this helps xx

milly jones
18-11-08, 17:56
a warm welcome to no more panic

milly xx