Finn
10-11-08, 21:02
You folks are the first to know I've been suffering panic attacks on & off for, um, 24 years. Had my first one age 18, and I'm 42 tmorro. :)
It's not really difficult to explain what brings them on. Enclosed rooms with lots of people, can be on an underground train, in a conference room at work, anywhere really where I can't immediately exit without drawing attention to myself.
Like most I've got my own strategies for avoiding panic attacks, mainly keeping well clear of any environment which will cause me to have one. And that strategy has worked well for me. Until now.
The office where I worked closed down a few months ago. I'd been there for 20 years, a small office, small number of very friendly colleagues, an absolutely perfect place to work. Now I've been compulsorily relocated to a vast open plan call centre type office. And being one of the most experienced members of staff I'm now sitting with the senior management (not that I'm senior management, of course, I've never gone for promotion because promotion means endless meetings in enclosed places with large numbers of people, the very thing which brings on my attacks).
On my bank of desks I'm the one who sits out like a sore thumb. The lowest grade (the one who does all the real work haha), alongside 2 HR managers, 2 admin managers and the overall office manager. Our office is full of new staff, very badly trained too, loads of mistakes are getting made, lots of complaints are coming in & "the management" are putting pressure on me to take promotion. But if I do so I'm going to end up with an intolerable working life, panic attacks all the time. They don't understand why I keep knocking back promotion and are genuinely confused as to why I'm still on the starting grade after 22 years unblemished service. Questions are being asked. Why am I being so selfish when I can surely see the business need ??
It's making me ill. Last week I had a panic attack 5 days in a row. The usual symptoms, the sudden "BANG" as the adrenaline hits the system, legs going, heart pounding, grasping onto the desk as if my life depended on it. Bloody awful it was (don't need to tell any of you that, I guess).
I can't continue with this. It's going to affect my career. I've managed to cover up this problem of mine for 24 years now & it looks like it's about to bite me again if I don't find myself some better strategies for it.
That's why I'm here.
This post's a bit self indulgent. Just me me me. Like I say I've never discussed this with anyone before, not even my nearest and dearest.
So. Hi. I'm Finn :D
It's not really difficult to explain what brings them on. Enclosed rooms with lots of people, can be on an underground train, in a conference room at work, anywhere really where I can't immediately exit without drawing attention to myself.
Like most I've got my own strategies for avoiding panic attacks, mainly keeping well clear of any environment which will cause me to have one. And that strategy has worked well for me. Until now.
The office where I worked closed down a few months ago. I'd been there for 20 years, a small office, small number of very friendly colleagues, an absolutely perfect place to work. Now I've been compulsorily relocated to a vast open plan call centre type office. And being one of the most experienced members of staff I'm now sitting with the senior management (not that I'm senior management, of course, I've never gone for promotion because promotion means endless meetings in enclosed places with large numbers of people, the very thing which brings on my attacks).
On my bank of desks I'm the one who sits out like a sore thumb. The lowest grade (the one who does all the real work haha), alongside 2 HR managers, 2 admin managers and the overall office manager. Our office is full of new staff, very badly trained too, loads of mistakes are getting made, lots of complaints are coming in & "the management" are putting pressure on me to take promotion. But if I do so I'm going to end up with an intolerable working life, panic attacks all the time. They don't understand why I keep knocking back promotion and are genuinely confused as to why I'm still on the starting grade after 22 years unblemished service. Questions are being asked. Why am I being so selfish when I can surely see the business need ??
It's making me ill. Last week I had a panic attack 5 days in a row. The usual symptoms, the sudden "BANG" as the adrenaline hits the system, legs going, heart pounding, grasping onto the desk as if my life depended on it. Bloody awful it was (don't need to tell any of you that, I guess).
I can't continue with this. It's going to affect my career. I've managed to cover up this problem of mine for 24 years now & it looks like it's about to bite me again if I don't find myself some better strategies for it.
That's why I'm here.
This post's a bit self indulgent. Just me me me. Like I say I've never discussed this with anyone before, not even my nearest and dearest.
So. Hi. I'm Finn :D