fee73
10-11-08, 21:35
Hi, my name's Fiona and I'm 35 years old, happily married, and mum to one gorgeous little boy who's 5 years old :) . My anxiety started just after my little boy was born in 2003. I suffered from Post Natal Depression which was never really treated properly. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've been suffering from recurring bouts of anxiety about my health. Basically, I'm terrified of dying and leaving my lovely wee boy motherless. In particular I'm terrified of dying of cancer...in fact I'd even go as far as to say I'm a cancer-phobic. Every mole, ache, heavy period or pain is linked to cancer in my head :weep: .
I had a bad scare a few weeks ago where a lesion was found in my bowel after invetigations for abdominal pain that I'd been experiencing for nearly a year. I went to pieces before I even got the results and had myself dead and buried. Fortunately the lump turned out to be an inside out appendix which was removed. My surgeon said he's never seen this with a normal appendix...they're normally cancerous but told me "you don't have anything like that". I do have a kidney stone which is no doubt causing me some of the pain. I keep telling myself if there was anything suspicious going on there the CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis would have picked it up but the fears soon set in again.
In the past few weeks or so things have gone from bad to worse, I'm convinced cancer is hiding in me somewhere and its ruining my life. My husband goes away to work in the north of Scotland regularly and I'm convinced I'm going to get a call telling me he's been involved in an accident on the way there. He doesn't even drive and I know his colleague drives carefully. If he gets up during the night I worry he'll fall down the stairs and injure himself.
The sad thing is, I've not been able to tell anyone about all of this. I've lost faith in my doctor and don't feel comfortable discussing anything with him/her and my husband is very much a "head in the sand" type bloke. My parents are a great support so far as my son's concerned but I don't want to worry them or have them thinking I'm some sort of nutter. I know I'm ill and need help but not sure where to look. If anyone has any suggestions I'd be so grateful.
I'm so glad I found this forum and would love to hear from anyone in similar situations.
Fiona x
I had a bad scare a few weeks ago where a lesion was found in my bowel after invetigations for abdominal pain that I'd been experiencing for nearly a year. I went to pieces before I even got the results and had myself dead and buried. Fortunately the lump turned out to be an inside out appendix which was removed. My surgeon said he's never seen this with a normal appendix...they're normally cancerous but told me "you don't have anything like that". I do have a kidney stone which is no doubt causing me some of the pain. I keep telling myself if there was anything suspicious going on there the CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis would have picked it up but the fears soon set in again.
In the past few weeks or so things have gone from bad to worse, I'm convinced cancer is hiding in me somewhere and its ruining my life. My husband goes away to work in the north of Scotland regularly and I'm convinced I'm going to get a call telling me he's been involved in an accident on the way there. He doesn't even drive and I know his colleague drives carefully. If he gets up during the night I worry he'll fall down the stairs and injure himself.
The sad thing is, I've not been able to tell anyone about all of this. I've lost faith in my doctor and don't feel comfortable discussing anything with him/her and my husband is very much a "head in the sand" type bloke. My parents are a great support so far as my son's concerned but I don't want to worry them or have them thinking I'm some sort of nutter. I know I'm ill and need help but not sure where to look. If anyone has any suggestions I'd be so grateful.
I'm so glad I found this forum and would love to hear from anyone in similar situations.
Fiona x