Please I need help from Mothers - desperate!

[SamanthaAU]

Hi Everyone,

I have been plagued by extreme HA for the last few months. Everytime I get a new feeling/problem I think it is the end of me and it is something that will kill me.

I am absolutely terrified that I will leave my two babies behind. They are 3 and 16 months. I am terrified that I won't see them grow up anymore. I just can't bear the thought of it, it is killing me inside.

Has anyone else been through this? I mean I know it is a 'normal' thing as a mother - but to this extreme I am sure is not right.

Thank you,

[LeeBee]

I haven't been through what you are going through but I have been through HA and I know how distressing it can be.

I'm just wondering whether your current surge of HA might be part of post-natal depression? Have you spoken to your doctor about the way you are feeling at all?

[diane07]

Aww samantha,

i had exactly the same with all three of mine hun, my eldest is 19 now and my youngest is 4, its our maternal protective instinct to feel like this, you will be fine hun. Try and concentrate on enjoying this time while they are young rather than what would happen if you weren't there, i promise it will disappear, but as mum its always our job to worry lol, no matter how old they are.

you will be fine and dandy!

best wishes
di xx

[redballoons]

hi I am the same. I am almost convinced that i will never see my children grow up. I think that this has been brought on in my case by a number of things: the first is that my own mother died when i was a child along and my husbands father died when HE was a child. so in my head i am convinced that one or both of us will die when my children are young. and secondly after i had my second child I suffered with very high blood pressure and during one of the doctors visits the doctor made a very flippant comment "we will get this under control to make sure that you are here to see your kids grow up" - as you can imagine my anxiety was through the roof for many motnhs following this.

I think that it helps me alot to TRY think a bit more rationally about things. It is a fact of life that SOME parents dont see their children grow up BUT the vast majority DO - I am no more likely to die young than the next mother and neither is my husband. the second thing is to remember that deeo down i think ALL mothers worry about this its just the ones with anxiety problems that let it get on top of them!. I wish i knew how the others get it under control....lol

reading back this post sounds negative but actually thinking like this HAS helped me in the long run.:blush:]

sophie

[Trixie]

Hi Everyone,

I have been plagued by extreme HA for the last few months. Everytime I get a new feeling/problem I think it is the end of me and it is something that will kill me.

I am absolutely terrified that I will leave my two babies behind. They are 3 and 16 months. I am terrified that I won't see them grow up anymore. I just can't bear the thought of it, it is killing me inside.

Has anyone else been through this? I mean I know it is a 'normal' thing as a mother - but to this extreme I am sure is not right.

Thank you,


I do not suffer from HA but in Feb this year I was told I had a brain tumour. Of course I was concerned about telling my children they are 24 and 26 and since their father died they have just had me.

I made them read up about it and then told them to forget it. I carry on as normal it is not mentioned in the house and that's how I want it to be. I have a MRI every six months and the surgeon will only operate if and when I get symptoms (it was found by accident).

I have enough to worry about with my cats health never mind my own.:D

[tashbarnes87]

Hi Samantha, i know exactly how you feel i! i am nearly 8 months pregnant and never experienced HA before becoming pregnant now it is ralyl bad and i am constantly living in fear that i am going to die and not even see my child let alone see him grow up. I spoke to the doctor about this and he said this fear is completly normal as our motherly instints are kicking in and protecting them. The fear of leaving them alone. I hate it but lets be honest most HA suffers spot any little changes with our body that we would be down the docs before it had even started. I know what you mean i have a gland up under my arm pit at the mo and there is a spot next to it, i am convinced i have cancer even though it only came up 2 days ago but it annoys me that 8 months ago the lump would have been caused by the spot! grrr any way. I know its hard but however annoying to hear worry about baby is 'normal' made 10 times worse by the HA

xx

[sheena]

I do not have health anxiety but I had post natal depression after my daughter was born. I could not take her out any where as I was convinced that she would be killed. I used to worry, when she was younger, that God was going to take her away for me for being a bad person.

Thankfully with medication I did get better.

It must be horrible for you to suffer from health anxiety :hugs:

Sheena

[Nemo]

Hi there
I have suffered on and off from health anxiet for as long as I can remember, but it been aot worse since being a mum. More thinking time not being at work perhaps? and more at stake now we have our little ones? hornonal shift? who knows....but i can sympathise!

[Vinny]

Aww Samantha.......all us Mums go through this. My two are now 28 and 26 and I still worry about not being here for them!!! It's because we love them so much and can't bear the thought of not being with them any longer.
Just enjoy being a Mum and don't let this annoying health anxiety spoil it.

Take Care x

[Jan63]

Yes I can relate to what you are all saying. I'm a mum of three - a lad aged 17 a girl aged 16 and a little girl of 7 and it scares me silly that I might get cancer and it be too late to do anything about it because my little girl is always telling me how much she loves me and I'm the best mum in the world and all that and it would break my heart to have to leave her motherless.:weep: :weep:

[leeann]

aw big hugs :hugs:

I can totally understand, my little girl is 2 years old and im so worried that ill die and not see her grow. I even get panicky that I will go blind and not see her grow. Its perfectly normal to feel this way xxx I hope your ok

[cazzamagui1]

hi sam i agree with everyone here i too am a new mum i ave three children 11 8 n a 1yr old so i totally understand how u feel nobody looks after our children better than we do ,nobody else can tell what a certain cry is and we all need our mums when were not well!!!!! ave u thought about vistin ur dr and tellin him how u feel i did i thought he was gonna tell me not to be so stupid but he didnt he put me on some medication which i didnt like at first but i keep tellin myself it will make me better and its not forever my kids need me to be myself a happy chatty bubbly mummy like i once was and i no u can be the same honest:) feel free to pm me anytime for a chat or just to blow off steam im all ears lol take care caz xxxx

[nic77]

i can understand what you mean i had postnatel depression after i had all my children and the feeling will past have you seen a doctor abut how you feel they might be able to help you

[cassi23]

yes hun,

i had a bad case of this start a year ago when my little girl was 7 weeks old, honestly...if i gave a pound for everytime i went to the doctors in the last year convinced with a new symptom that i was going to die, id have saved up enough for a family holiday by now, lol!

It is the thought that you will not be around for them or see them grow up that makes it worse,but do try and enjoy them while they're still so ickle...

Cassi xxxxxxx

[Claire1071]

My little girl is 3 and I feel just the same. I always worry myself silly that I will leave her motherless and the fear that I will not see her grow up breaks my heart totally.

I am also terrible for having HA over her.

I think the only thing worse than leaving her would be her leaving me so every sniffle and tummy upset she gets sends me into huge panics about her being seriously ill.

I guess all mothers worry loads but those of us who have anxiety issues are worse than most.

[Trixie]

My little girl is 3 and I feel just the same. I always worry myself silly that I will leave her motherless and the fear that I will not see her grow up breaks my heart totally.

I am also terrible for having HA over her.

I think the only thing worse than leaving her would be her leaving me so every sniffle and tummy upset she gets sends me into huge panics about her being seriously ill.

I guess all mothers worry loads but those of us who have anxiety issues are worse than most.............

My daughter suffers from OCD Agoraphobia, Social Paranoia and Anxiety she doesn't leave the house. Having this BT has put a strain on my shoulders even though we don't let it affect our lives because I am her carer. I don't suffer from HA but it is still a problem for me.

[jue67]

Hi.
Yes i know just how you feel, i had to be admitted to hospital when my daughter was 4, little did i know it was pain from panic attacks! I was okay in hospital, however on my second day i was in the bath and felt cold coming over me, a total dread, doom, i had no idea what it was but i was frightened badly. the next day i started worrying that i was gonna die, now thats okay for me, without a child. but i worried beyond and back what would happen to her if i died, i had left my husband and did not know who would bring her up. At this point i would never have let my ex husband bring her up, like i would have known anything about it.!!
Im married again now, and i have made my husband promise that he will bring her up, that he wont let her biological father bring her up, that he will do this with my sister and family. Sometimes i ring him in the middle of panic and make him say he would take care of her.
Saying that the feeling has lessened with time, i still have major health anxiety(which i think originally was caused cos i didnt know what was wrong with me, gastritis!) I dont let my daughter know im anxious at all, i will say im going to watch the news upstairs while she watches kids tv and this gives me the time to get myself together.

It is hard, the only thing i can say is that it can get better, find a relaxation cd, i got one from no panic and its the one where you relax and tense your muscles, this does impact on my general well being, i can actullay function and forget i maybe dying!!! I know its hard to find the time to do things like this, but in the long run its worth it.

good luck sweetie and enjoy the kids.
jools

[charsey]

I can totally relate to what your going through. My little girl is now 4 months old and since having her my HA has just got worse and worse. I have this constant fear that cancer will be detected (somewhere) and that it'll be too late to do anything.
I hope i can over come it as i really don't want to live like this forever nor do i want to pass my anxiety on to her. I went to my doctor who was fantastic and referred me straight away for therapy, it was so hard i made my self so sick with worry and i really didn't want to go. I found it uncomfortable and embarrassing but i know i have to go through so i can live my life and enjoy my daughters. I don't know what advise to give other than talk to your doctor. Take Care x x

[jojo2316]

me too me too me too! Oh my god I so could have written that post. My two children are 3 years and 13 months and since my youngest was born I have become obssessed with my health and a fear that I won't stay alive for them. I am aware of EVERY SINGLE sensation in my body, and every day I think I am dying of something different. It's awful.
xx

[SamanthaAU]

I just wanted to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts and experiences.

As usual - the beautiful people of NMP have bought me comfort and calm again.

Lots of love to you all

[Natural Mystic]

Hi Everyone,

I have been plagued by extreme HA for the last few months. Everytime I get a new feeling/problem I think it is the end of me and it is something that will kill me.

I am absolutely terrified that I will leave my two babies behind. They are 3 and 16 months. I am terrified that I won't see them grow up anymore. I just can't bear the thought of it, it is killing me inside.

Has anyone else been through this? I mean I know it is a 'normal' thing as a mother - but to this extreme I am sure is not right.

Thank you,
Absolutely I do babe, the thought of leaving my 7 yeal old along fills me with extreme dread, it goes far beyond the "norm"

[Alisonj]

HUGE HUGS! I suffered from Post Partum anxiety after my last baby(she is almost 18 mnths) I felt exactly the same way. It was horrible, I spent most of the time crying or looking up what I was sure I had. I was terrified. The good news is as time went on and hormones regulated things did get easier. I really hope the same happens for you!

[Forever Anxious]

Hi Sweetie, I worry about the same thing. All the time. I feel your Anxiety. I have two little boys, almost 3 and 5 1/2. I am constantly TERRIFIED that something will kill me off. I even cry over it. I know how you feel.
I am sending you a prayer to give you all the strength you need to make it better
From a mom who really understands.
You will be ok, you are ok.
oxoxoxxo

[trixi]

Hi,

I know exaclty how you feel I often feel the same about leaving my 3 year old behind. It is the most horrible thing. Please think postive and think to yourself that it WILL pass.

Take care Mrs
Trixi

[Vitsy1]

Oh my goodness, you have described exactly how I felt! I always felt like something bad was going to happen to me after my little girl was born, it lasted for a few months. I'd get scared because the thought of me leaving my little girl behind just terrified me. I thought that my headaches were tumors, that my palpitations was a heart attack/stroke, I would wake up panicking in the night, I feared death on a massive scale, the list goes on.

This was a pretty bad time in my life so I know how you must feel, all I can say is that it will go away or get better and easier to manage. My daughter is 6 months now and I still get it occassionally, you just adapt and find ways of overcoming the anxiety.

I'm not a doctor so I cannot say what it might be, but go and speak to someone my dear, the worst thing you can do is let it eat you up. There are things you can do to help yourself and the doc can point you in the right direction. Coming to this site was a very good start, it has been my saviour.

[Claire79]

I had health anxiety for years after my eldest was born, if I dared look at my doctors records it would show that I've had something wrong with every single part of my body at one point or another.

I also had (and probably still do) have an amazing memory for medical symptoms I've heard or read about. I can't remember what day it is but I can tell you exactly what the initial symtoms of HIV are even though I've been married to the same man for 10 years!

I don't really get it anymore, occasionally if I get a weird pain in my head my first thought is tumour but I don't obsess about it like I used to. My fears are about other things now so I'm gradually working out that I need to sort out the root of my anxiety to stop it from transferring onto something else. In my short lifetime I've had anxiety about EVERYTHING! lol

Claire x