Major Depression

[Diane O'Brien]

Hi, My name is Diane and have been diagnosed with major depression. I am married with two children. I was a student midwife but had to leave due to the condition. I felt dreadful, crying constantly, feeling hopeless, so isolated and lonely. My appetite had gone, I was losing weight. I was constantly tired and drained but I could,nt sleep at night, because of crying and anxiety. I could not sit down, constantly on the go. My concentration levels were awful and my anxiety levels were through the roof. In the car one day I felt like crashing into a wall, not bothering about anythin I felt numb. I was constantly drinkin wine which made me more tearful. I left the course due to all these problems and I knew I needed help. I went to the doctors were she prescribed citalopram. 5 weeks later I have good and bad days. I am still not working and dont feel up to it at the minute. I,m scared of never being the preson I once was, will I ever be me again. I want to work again but simple things cause me anxiety. The citalopram has made a difference but my confidence has been shattered.

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx

[pooh]

Hi there and welcome along to NMP

sometimes when we take a knock like this we need to give ourselves time to get back on some kind of an even keel. Be kind to yourself and baby steps all the way.

Pooh x

[marie1974]

hi hun, i know how bad depression can b and i had it bad myself yrs ago and had 2 little babies to look after.

first of all if the meds are helping, even though u get good and bad days, then thats a good start.

secondly id say when u get your good days, try and do some things to help keep your mood alittle better, mayb walking, i go power walking every day and used to put little ones in pushchair when they were younger and do it with them, i got myself off meds through exercise and it really give me a buzz and made me feel better and more positive and motivated.

you have to try and stick with it though, wot ever you do, you wont see changes over night but after month or so u will.

mayb go have your hair done or go shopping, but things to help u feel better in yourself, then on your days where u feel rubbish u can just chill abit more and over time u may not get so many rusbbish days.

as time goes on and u start to feel better u can slowly increase wot u do and eventually u mayb feel u want to go back to work.

i know its really awful having dep and its makes u feel tired and usueless etc, it also used to make me feel like not wanting to go out, to see people, talk to people, it made me feel ugly, and very alone as my hubby worked v long hours and i had no family support.

you can get through this matey and u will, just try to b positive as much as u can and u can pm me if u ever need to chat. hugs to u xxxxx

[PUGLETMUM]

:) hiya diane:welcome: , yes you will recover form this, but it takes time like the others have said. depression is an illness and so therefore you need to take it easy like you would with any other illness. have you read up on it at all, as i found educating myself really helped. and yes i suffer the anx/sleeplessness/crying/ lack of concentration symptoms - it isnt all about being unable to move, these type of depression symptoms are just as disabling - please take very good care of yourself, this is what you need right now:hugs:

[belle]

Hi and welcome :)

x

[Diane O'Brien]

I am so upset I cant get counselling anywhere my doctors theres a 12 months waiting list when I phoned Cruse, I live in the Manchester area they have no spaces. I cant even get in the chat room here I don't know why. I am on anti-depressants but a lot of my depression comes from losing my dad 5 years ago. Aidan was a baby when he died, my little boy and at the time I did'nt grieve properly. When I think about it all I feel my chest tightening and chest pains. I have never talked about to to anyone, it was a awful time looking back but I just got on with it. I blocked it all out, sorry but there is absolutely no help out there all I get is answering machines.

[marie1974]

thanks for the pm hun, i have pm'd u back xxxxx

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: hiya diane, there is very little help as lots of us have found out here. but there is here now, so you are not alone, there is usually always someone to talk to, and although not qualified counsellors most ppl care enough and are experienced enough to be able to help and offer support.

my situation was complicated by a bereavement so i understand how bad you feel - and i also think that you delayed yourgreif the same way i did? its very understandable under the circumstances? my greiving process also began years later when i had my own daughter, this was when i really understood what my mum dying was going to mean for the rest of my life.

but your depression is for a reason, your mind, body and spirit want health, and it has to go through the grieving process for you to move on, so once youve done it you will feel better? obviously your emotions are felt in your body as you say you feel tight in your chest? so you can see how powerful emotions are tha tthey manifest themsleves physically? your emotions want to be felt and heard, so dont fear them overwhelming you - they wont - thye will come and go if you let them happen naturally - they almost feed on your desire to get rid of them i think, so if you dont try to ge trid of them they will go on their own - you wont be overwhelmed and never recover! quite the opposite - you will begin to heal, and if you let your emotions be, eventually you will become distracted by some other thought and you will jus tcarry on with your day? this will prob go on for a while, but it gets easier and the strength of the emotions get less and more mamageable and less overpowering, hope this helps a bit, tc, emma:hugs:

[bumbles]

Diane if you have just joined then it takes 5 days for you to be able to go in the chat room. Take care X

[smurfette]

Hi Diane

:welcome: to NMP!

Take care,
Mandy x

[lorac]

Hi Diane

Welcome to the site I am sure you will find many people on here who will understand how you feel and you will get some good advice and support. You will be able to go into chat after 5 days.

Take care

Carol

[Diane O'Brien]

Thank u 4 all your replies. I have been reading a few self help books about depression and anxiety so I have a little understanding of the process. I know its going to take time and at the minute I,m taking each day as it comes. The tablets are helping with the depression and I,m taking power walks and trying to exercise though I do find it hard to overcome the anxiety, I feel sometimes I have been punched in the stomach. I do feel dizzy and weak at times. I wish u all well and many thanx again. Your a lovely bunch.

[Jan63]

I am so upset I cant get counselling anywhere my doctors theres a 12 months waiting list when I phoned Cruse, I live in the Manchester area they have no spaces. I cant even get in the chat room here I don't know why. I am on anti-depressants but a lot of my depression comes from losing my dad 5 years ago. Aidan was a baby when he died, my little boy and at the time I did'nt grieve properly. When I think about it all I feel my chest tightening and chest pains. I have never talked about to to anyone, it was a awful time looking back but I just got on with it. I blocked it all out, sorry but there is absolutely no help out there all I get is answering machines.
That is terrible that you have to wait so long for counselling. I was offered a counselling session within 3 or 4 weeks of going to the doctors which I didn't take up unfortunately because I believed that I was better.:blush: So sorry to hear you lost your dad when your little boy was a baby. My dad also died when my daughter was only 2 weeks old, he never even saw her. I wasn't close to my dad though but I was very close to my mum and I lost her nearly 3 years ago.

[kittyk]

Hello Diane...welcome...you will found this site helpful...wait a short while for the chat room...you will find it uplifting...I know I do....xx

[milly jones]

a warm welcome to no more panic

milly xx