fdmc
13-06-05, 21:20
Hi, my name is francis, here's my story. i am a 32 year old male, i have had ocd all my life. about 4-5 years ago i started to get panic attacks, i had no clue on what was going on with me, i honestly thought that i was dying. i went to my doctor, he sent me for lots of tests and said it was probably just anxiety, i didnt believe him so i swtched doctors, that docotr said the same thing. he sent me to these councelling group meetings which didnt help me what so ever. i then went to my doctor that i still have now. he told me that it was panic attacks and bad anxiety. my symtoms at that time were an imence feeling that i was going to die, my heart would beat so fast, feeling that i was going to pass out, dizzieness, i felt SO scared, so the doctor then explained everything to me, he was toatly awseome, and made me feel so much btter, he put me on paxil, i started to feel better after a month or so, i stayd on the paxil for about a year and a half, but because of finacial issues i couldnt stay on them. so i was good up untill about 2 years after that episode. i dont do drugs but brother came over one day and i smoked some pot with him, i have always hated the way drugs have made me feel thats why i never do drugs, but when i smoked it with my brother i got maybe a bit to high and i felt SO SCARED, for about 3 months after that i felt as if things werent real to me, everything looked so weird for some reason, sorta like i was half asleep all the time or something. i then did some looking on the net and found that there were alot of people like me that had the same symptoms (derealazition). so i didnt worry about it to much because people said it would probably go away after a while, whick it did. so here i am now, about 8 weeks ago i quit smoking cld turkey(yay). then about 6 weeks ago or so i started getting this foul smell in my right nostril, i was worried so i started typing in my symptoms on the net, and i came up with cancer in my sinus's, my panic attacks and anxiety came back SO HARD and BAD this time , i thoguht i was going to die. i was having lots of panic attacks throughout EVERYday, i couldnt eat, sleep, i went to the hospital and the doc on duty said it was a sinus infection, but in the back of my mind he was wrong, and i swore i thought it was cancer. so about a week later i went to my doctor, he ssaid the same as the doctor at the hospital, that i was a sinus ineftion and gave me more atibiotics. about week later i went to him again because i was still worried he sent me for xray's on my sinus's and said it was fluid build up in my sinus's and that i would have that foul smell form 3-6 months. i now have this sawefull feeling of things not seeming real again, i am so tired all the time, i have no energy to do anything. he sent me to a shrink ,the shrink told me these are all signs of anxiety , she put me on paxil and xanax. the crying is all gone for now, i dont get to many panic attacks, but i still dont seem to be lke i was before, things all look weird to me, i think about these feelings ALL day long. i just want to feel "normal" again i want my old self back, i rarely go outside its seems that when i do my anxiety kicks in because nothing looks the same to me when i go outside. i hope someone can reasure me. i have a gf and 4 childeren, i feel like i am wasting my time and not giving them the attention they need from there father. i am so tired, i have no energy and this weird feeling is awefull, i mean the feeling of not being here, the feeling of things not looking the same, the feeling of things looking like im in a dream or half awake. please give me some thing good to hear. thank you for now, Francis
Francis
Francis