My Dream Is Upsetting Me So Much!

[pinkpiglet]

Where do i start and how do i put this! My anxiety is through the roof at the minute. I feel as if i have taken 10 steps backwards, then last night i had the most horrifying dream. It was so real, like it was actually happening and i woke up frozen with shock and fear. I darent even talk about the dream to my partner as it was so upsetting. I dreamt that our little boy passed away. I can not remember how or where it happened but he died and we had to bury him, then it went on to how i coped afterwards. I was pining for him but could not get him back. I can not bring myself to explain it any further as it is too upsetting and it is my biggest fear. I cannot believe that I dreamt such a horrible horrible thing and i feel so guilty and worrying about what this dream meant. I mentioned it to my friends at work today and they all said that they had never dreamt anything like this (they all have young children) infact they all seemed shocked that i had dreamt such a awful thing. This made me feel even worse because i thought that maybe it wasnt unusual for mothers to dream these things. But why would they? Who in their right mind could dream something so horrible? I am trying to think of a rational reason as to why i had this dream. Maybe because when he woke up he bumped his head, then i let him go back to sleep (shouldnt have done that really), then i was worrying about it. Is it because of all the upsetting news about the death of 'Baby P' or the mother who shot her two babies? I don't know! I don't know what made me dream this. My main concern a lately as been that i will die and leave my son without his Mummy. I worry that if I die he will wonder why i have left him and get upset when he calls for me and i don't come. I love the bones of my son with all my heart and I am very shocked with myself for having this awful dream. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

[Jan63]

It means you are just a normal person and you've just had a terrible dream - but that's all it is a dream.:hugs: :hugs: Please try not to dwell on this and put it to the back of your mind although I know how scared it must have made you to dream this but a dream is something we have no control over at all unfortunately. Now go and give your son a big cuddle and try to forget it.

Hope you are okay.:hugs:

[HeatherMc]

Try not to worry about this too much hun, I know that it is horrible and you may think of it as an omen or something strange like that, it isn't your anx is sky high at the moment as you say yourself and you are worried about your childs welfare it is probably because you are such a good loving mother that you are worried about this dream, when my daughter was a baby i had very bad pnd and was worried about her suffocating dying whilst asleep, etc etc, she didn't earlier on this year I was worried about her starting secondary school and coming to harm (she hasn't)


its the anxiety playing tricks on your mind hun, remember anxiety can be very clever and strong it picks up on our deepest fears and plays around with them, hence the dreams,
I used to have bad dreams when my eldest started driving that something would happen I even had bad dreams the other night when my middle fella came in with a car! unfortunately it is all part and parcel of being a good caring mother, it can be hell if you are a sensitive soul and worship the ground your children walk on,

also this week has been horrible in the press with that poor little babe and that mother killing her other children no doubt these things can play on our minds especially at a subconcious level

Again don't worry enjoy your child whilst you still can, before you know it that kid will be grown up dropping off his washing and moaning about what you have cooked for tea and inviting half his mates round for meals at very short notice

[joy]

I too am having dreadful dreams at the mo and dont know whether its meds or anxiety or both.

The dreams are crazily mixed up with things and people in my past and present and tend to hang over me all day.

I did read once that dreams are usually the opposite of what is happening in our lives at the moment

I've got to the stage of not wanting to go to bed for fear of the dreams which is not good when sleep is the only relief from the anxiety.

Joy

[Yvonne]

Hi

Everyone I have ever spoken to who is suffering with a high level of anxiety has bad dreams or very vivid dreams. When my anxiety was high I was in and out of these vivid dreams all night long - literally all night. I would have a dream, wake up then go into another one. Not only does it disturb your sleep pattern but if the dreams are scary it just adds to your anxiety.

You are using phrases like "who in their right mind would have a dream like this". You are labelling yourself as someone who is not in their right mind. You have to stop that now - you are persecuting yourself by saying such things to yourself. You are in your right mind, I am sure you are a wonderful mum and a good person. Trouble with anxiety it does so many horrible things to us and both physically and mentally that we always think we are going out of our minds ... but we're not. It's an over stressed mind that's all and this is how it manifests itself when all is not well.

Dreams are not real, I know some people are into dreams and think they have meanings but I think they are just a mish mash of stuff that's in the sub-conscious. Things that have gone on recently, things that we don't take too much notice of - the sub-conscious takes it all in and remembers it all and then starts processing it when the conscious mind is asleep and it creates these dreams. The dreadful cases in the news this week regarding the babies were very very upsetting and traumatising and maybe this may have some significance here.

The fact that your friends at work couldn't identify with your dream has only made you feel worse and made you feel more "different", you're not, you are just suffering anxiety and this is what anxiety does - the little demon.

Don't analyse the dream and pay it no more attention. You take care.

[pinkpiglet]

Thankyou to all of you for your caring and considerate replies. To be honest the dream as knocked the stuffing out of me. I didnt mention earlier but my mum has had my little boy (he is 2, just) all day today, as i was working until 2pm and she still hasnt brought him back. They have gone christmas shopping. All I have done is phone her and check up on them and they are now getting the train home and we are going to pick them up from the station at 7pm. I can't wait to see him and give him such a big snuggle. It's like i am holding my breath ( i do this when i am anxious). I have read what you have all had to say and you are all so lovely. I know you are all right in what you say and i need to try and rationalise my thoughts, it is just so hard has the dream was so real and upsetting. Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou x

[pinkpiglet]

I have just told my auntie about my dream and she assured me that she as had many a dream about this sort of thing. She like me is a very family orienated person and spends time worrying about everyone else. I feel better knowing this as nothing as ever happened to my cousins or myself, despite her having had these dreams. My OH and I went to the station to pick up my son and mother and i was a little panicked when the train was 5 minutes late. However, the train pulled safely into the station with my mum and son on board and i gave him the biggest snuggle ever.
I will let you know how i go on but i doubt my fears will subside so easily. I am dreading going to bed tonight.

[Bill]

I've often had very upsetting dreams which felt so real and sometimes it was meds that caused them. On the whole though dreams are just our fears that worry us by day coming to the surface while we're asleep.

We can sometimes have running away dreams which are just a symptom of too much stress because we feel trapped.

Whatever is really important to us we will fear losing and that fear will be represented in our dreams.

It's only our worry and fear surfacing but nothing more however real and frightening our dreams make us feel.:hugs:

[redballoons]

hi
I think that awful dreams are fairly normal, especially about children because everyone worried about their babies!
I know my worst was that my daughter was stuck inside a burning shop and and was trying to get her but i couldnt - i could see her in the fire but not get to her. i woke up crying and had to run into her room to check on her. I dont think i t means anything at all

sophie

[kellie]

I have 3 teen girl who are all close in age, 18,17,15
About 10 years ago i had a very disturbing dream about Gemma who is 17 now but was 7 at the time.
My dream was this.
I was getting ready to attend the funeral of a family member although in my dream i did not know who had died. there was a knock on my front door as i was putting my black dress on, a family friend walked over to me, gave me such a loving hug and said it was time to go. At this point my hubbie broke down into uncontrolable sobbing and i turned to comfort him but was thinking why is he sobbing so much, i was confused as this was not realy the way my hubbie reacts to things.
We got into the car and was driving to the place where the funeral was, still my hubbie was crying and moaning like a wounded animal.
the car stopped and i got out and walked over to where all my family was standing and waiting, they all gave me a kiss and a hug and was saying sorry
At this point i was feeling pretty scared that they new something i never.
As the coffin was lowered into the ground i leaned closer to take a look.
On the plack on the coffin was MY Gemma name and age, i could still hear the terrible crys of my hubbie and i started to scream my head off.
This jolted me out of my sleep, i was sweating, shaking, crying, and my heart was racing so fast it hurt, i was also struggleing to breath.
while feeling this way i was making my way to my daughters room to check she was still breathing
This scared me so much and i was thinking for a long time, i have 3 kids why was her name on that coffin, i was convinced for a good long while that something was going to happen to her.
I just thought i would share this with you so you know that you are not alone with some of the scary dreams ppl can have
I know that no dream could ever scare me as much as that one did and i hope i never have a repeat of it.
At the time it seemed so real and i was convinced something was going to happen to her.

[roosey]

peole say its always the oppsite of a dream--- dream of death --- hear of a birth!!!! So thats a good way of looking at it eh???

[pinkpiglet]

Thankyou everyone, you have helped to ease my fear that something bad will happen to Ethan.
Kellie & redballon- those dreams sounded horrifying, quite similiar to mine too. How ever did we wake up from those?
Antilove- I have actually dreamt of incest before too but many years ago now. These dreams can be very shocking too and make us question many things.
Purobunny- i actually did sleep better last night and as far as i can remember i didnt dream anything, nothing significant anyway! Thankyou for all your advice and concern.
Bill- I am taking fluoxetine but i have not experienced bad dreams before, i will ask my doctor what he thinks.
I have felt a bit better today but it keeps popping into my mind. I just hope i dream nothing else of this nature. I started reading a book last night and i had a milky drink to stimulate relaxing sleep (obviously did the trick).
Thankyou to everyone for your reassurance and kindness, I can always count on my friends at NMP.