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fdmc
14-06-05, 20:19
hi . i am new to this forum, i recently posted my situation under "introduce yourself", but im not sure if i should of placed it here, so ill post it here and hopefully get some good things to hear. sorry for the spelling and grammer, so here it goes.


Hi, my name is francis, here's my story. i am a 32 year old male, i have had ocd all my life. about 4-5 years ago i started to get panic attacks, i had no clue on what was going on with me, i honestly thought that i was dying. i went to my doctor, he sent me for lots of tests and said it was probably just anxiety, i didnt believe him so i swtched doctors, that docotr said the same thing. he sent me to these councelling group meetings which didnt help me what so ever. i then went to my doctor that i still have now. he told me that it was panic attacks and bad anxiety. my symtoms at that time were an imence feeling that i was going to die, my heart would beat so fast, feeling that i was going to pass out, dizzieness, i felt SO scared, so the doctor then explained everything to me, he was toatly awseome, and made me feel so much btter, he put me on paxil, i started to feel better after a month or so, i stayd on the paxil for about a year and a half, but because of finacial issues i couldnt stay on them. so i was good up untill about 2 years after that episode. i dont do drugs but brother came over one day and i smoked some pot with him, i have always hated the way drugs have made me feel thats why i never do drugs, but when i smoked it with my brother i got maybe a bit to high and i felt SO SCARED, for about 3 months after that i felt as if things werent real to me, everything looked so weird for some reason, sorta like i was half asleep all the time or something. i then did some looking on the net and found that there were alot of people like me that had the same symptoms (derealazition). so i didnt worry about it to much because people said it would probably go away after a while, whick it did. so here i am now, about 8 weeks ago i quit smoking cld turkey(yay). then about 6 weeks ago or so i started getting this foul smell in my right nostril, i was worried so i started typing in my symptoms on the net, and i came up with cancer in my sinus's, my panic attacks and anxiety came back SO HARD and BAD this time , i thoguht i was going to die. i was having lots of panic attacks throughout EVERYday, i couldnt eat, sleep, i went to the hospital and the doc on duty said it was a sinus infection, but in the back of my mind he was wrong, and i swore i thought it was cancer. so about a week later i went to my doctor, he ssaid the same as the doctor at the hospital, that i was a sinus ineftion and gave me more atibiotics. about week later i went to him again because i was still worried he sent me for xray's on my sinus's and said it was fluid build up in my sinus's and that i would have that foul smell form 3-6 months. i now have this sawefull feeling of things not seeming real again, i am so tired all the time, i have no energy to do anything. he sent me to a shrink ,the shrink told me these are all signs of anxiety , she put me on paxil and xanax. the crying is all gone for now, i dont get to many panic attacks, but i still dont seem to be lke i was before, things all look weird to me, i think about these feelings ALL day long. i just want to feel "normal" again i want my old self back, i rarely go outside its seems that when i do my anxiety kicks in because nothing looks the same to me when i go outside. i hope someone can reasure me. i have a gf and 4 childeren, i feel like i am wasting my time and not giving them the attention they need from there father. i am so tired, i have no energy and this weird feeling is awefull, i mean the feeling of not being here, the feeling of things not looking the same, the feeling of things looking like im in a dream or half awake. please give me some thing good to hear. thank you for now, Francis

Francis

p.s i started smoking again about 3 weeks ago, the stress was to much, and i thought it would help me out, but im going to quit again,

roachford
15-06-05, 12:40
Francis,

I hope that this forum can give you some peace as it certainly has done for me.

Man, I can totally see where you are coming from. I too have been suffering from totally heinous health anxiety lately. I really have no idea wher it stems from but believe me, I can convince myself that I have any number of conditions, especially the big C. The truth is that I know, somewhere small in a far off corner of my mind that after all of my doctors visits, and long, LONG conversatios with my wife, that I'm probably stressing out over something that apparently is 'in my mind'. My normal chain of events goes something like this......

1. Get mild symptom (recently had smalll lump on the roof of my mouth)

2. Begin to think of what it could be.....

3. Irrational chain of thought usually takes hold at this point - "Its probably something serious'

4. Start to panic about the fact that I have a life threatening condition and really begin to get scared, stressed and withdrawn.

5. Panic more and wonder what I should do.

6. Stress and panic induce more symptoms which in turn are often diagnosed (by my own mind) as more serious symptoms of imagined ailment

7. Carry on like this until I end up at the doctors surgery, looking like an idiot being told that I need to relax and not get so stressed out by what truly are minor issues.

8. Realise that If I stop worrying about my symptoms, they may go away.

9. Forceably stop myself thinking about the symptoms, and they usually ease considerably.

10. Feel stoopid!!

I hope you feel better soon, cos I know how much of an absolute nightmare this kind of thing can be.

Peace,

R

Meg
15-06-05, 13:34
Nice one Roachford .

Think I've answered this on your original post


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

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