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escapology
15-06-05, 12:41
For the past 12 years I've had to fight to become what I feel comfortable with and to get where I am in life. It's been an uphill struggle, with hurdles to overcome at every possible opportunity. There have been times I have wanted to give up but I haven't, so far!

So far in the last 12 years I have had to cope with.....I came out to my parents at the age of 21, took on an 11 year old daughter, coped with my partners abusive relationship and husband, divorce, giving up my career to earn money for us all, seperation from said g/f, moving, changing jobs, a new abusive (physical and mental) relationship, moving homes again, splitting with abusive partner, stalking, redundancy, being the 'other' woman, re-locating to London, changing jobs again, always being put second (Im the other woman), being lonely in London, find new friends, my relationship splitting, friends discarding me as I couldnt support them with their problems, a bad car accident, losing my job............. this list is endless....

Today, I don't think i can cope much more. I feel so belittled in life and on the edge that I feel if pushed that i could explode and head for the gutter. I've been there before. I've stood on a bridge and wanted to jump in front of a train. I'm heading that way again. the simpilest of tasks make me want to cry and head back home and hide under the duvet.

Where has the real me gone?
What can i do to get the real me back?

How do you all cope with day to day life and then also deal with the biggest hurdles thrown at us?

UUrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! [V] Im sitting here in tears and I just dont know what way to turn!

RANT OVER!

pips
15-06-05, 13:03
Hi hun,

So sorry you are feeling so bad. No wonder you are suffering all what you have been through.

You need to take time out give yourself some you time pamper and comfort yourself. You so deserve it!

Believe me you have got that inner strength i know you don't feel like it at the moment but step back and see all what you have dealt with! You are STRONG i promise you. It just feels a bit lost at the moment.

You will get there it just takes time and small steps. Take each day as it comes. I know it's not easy and i still get very bad days but you will get better days just try to accept it and say look i feel crap but im gonna get on and do stuff anyway!

If you want to chat feel free to PM me I do hope you feel better soon. Remember we are here to help and support you.

Do take care,

Love PIP'S X X

Meg
15-06-05, 14:07
Escapology,

You have put up with and dealt with so much and shown so much strength already its not surprising that you feel so stretched and unable to move on but you can.

From your post it seems you are single and not currently working full time?
If so, this is a very good time to start building yourself up a more solid life so you can permenently overcome the feelings and impression of being belittled, based on your strengths and talents which you have.

It will mean reaching out and looking for opportunities but it can and will get better..

You may want to head for the duvet for a bit and have a good cry and that is totally fine but do take a notebook and pen with you so when the sobs subside you can start deciding which way you want your life to go and what you need to do to improve on your current situation.

Its a scary prospect being out in the big world alone but at least you don't need to fear anyone abusing you and can build up your self respect in your own time.

You might want to include things such as getting some counselling , persuing a hobby or interest, meeting new people.
I have no doubts you can do this...... We're here to chivvy you on.

Look and dream forward.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

escapology
15-06-05, 15:27
Meg, I am in a relationship at the moment and have just started working so have other things to focus on, but they bring difficulties too. Days where I dont want to go to work, circumstances where my current partner puts on me and I feel I can't deliver.

Don't get me wrong, I am not at home and in hiding... I am very much out there, but feel like I am close to the edge as there is little time for me to rejuvenate, little time for people to listen to me with my problems and each day bring another challenge that i really do not have the enegry to motivate myself and deal with.

I miss laughing, feeling care free and all that other jazz and I dont see any way where I can become me again.

Thanks for all your thoughts and support here guys! It is appreciated! :)

Meg
15-06-05, 15:56
Sorry Esc..

Your post ended in not being at work or a relationship so I wrongly presumed thats where you were right now. Mea culpa.







Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

escapology
15-06-05, 16:23
No problem. I didn't make myself very clear, but your input is very informative. Thank you!


esca xx