Mags01SP
19-11-08, 00:18
Before I started writing up this thread, I read Ben's and ours are similar, though thankfully my situation isn't as severe or confusing and I just need some simple advice.
I've never really had a lot of experience with dating or serious relationships, mainly due to extreme worry that affects my eating and sleeping patterns(as well as everything else). The last time I dated someone was 2 years ago and it lasted two weeks - I barely slept and rarely ate and ended up breaking it off because I was so miserable. My mind was swirling with horribly negative thoughts about how I wasn't good enough for him and how we were going to break up eventually so it wasn't worth staying together and how for some reason thinking about spending many years of my life with him wasn't appealing(even though I liked him very much). Just negative thinking in general and it made me feel so icky and physically sick that I decided it wasn't worth it.
That pushed me into a depression because my anxiety had finally surfaced after many years of little worrying here and there, and now I'm on 50mg of Zoloft that is working nicely. In August of this year I was "dating" a boy about 2 years older than me(I'm 18 now) and he was way too pressuring in every aspect so I broke it off. I get over people fairly easily, and for that I'm glad.
Well now I am in a new situation. This past weekend a friend of my older brother's began emailing me and then we started texting. He's only a couple of month's older than me and has known my brother for years. A few days after the boy and I began speaking, my brother told me that he "has his eye on me" which I guess means he finds me attractive. He is very attractive and has an amazing personality, so I was excited. We went out on Sunday to dinner and such, and though we are both quiet people I really enjoyed it.
I have been doing fairly well, and it surprises, pleases, and almost frightens me. I'm worrying very little compared to how I usually do whenever I spend one-on-one time with guys I find attractive. The only thing that's getting to me is that I'm a sucker for assurance. We text often, and being a teenage boy who (may be) shy about liking a girl he doesn't say many things about liking me yet, and this makes me feel as if he doesn't have interest. Then the thoughts come: "Why would you think you're good enough for him?" "He has better things to do than be with you." "Don't text him, you'll be annoying". We text everyday since we can't see each other, and whenever I ask him to call or text he does without contemplation.
So basically, I over-analyse.
What I would like advice on is how to get over these thoughts, since they branch into other anxiety-causing, negative thoughts. What do I tell myself or how to I calm down when I start getting down on myself for no reason? Spending time with him is amazing, I feel so comfortable and it's the first time I've felt this way with anyone. If we excel into a relationship, casual or serious, I don't want to ruin it with worrying.
Thanks!
Maggie
I've never really had a lot of experience with dating or serious relationships, mainly due to extreme worry that affects my eating and sleeping patterns(as well as everything else). The last time I dated someone was 2 years ago and it lasted two weeks - I barely slept and rarely ate and ended up breaking it off because I was so miserable. My mind was swirling with horribly negative thoughts about how I wasn't good enough for him and how we were going to break up eventually so it wasn't worth staying together and how for some reason thinking about spending many years of my life with him wasn't appealing(even though I liked him very much). Just negative thinking in general and it made me feel so icky and physically sick that I decided it wasn't worth it.
That pushed me into a depression because my anxiety had finally surfaced after many years of little worrying here and there, and now I'm on 50mg of Zoloft that is working nicely. In August of this year I was "dating" a boy about 2 years older than me(I'm 18 now) and he was way too pressuring in every aspect so I broke it off. I get over people fairly easily, and for that I'm glad.
Well now I am in a new situation. This past weekend a friend of my older brother's began emailing me and then we started texting. He's only a couple of month's older than me and has known my brother for years. A few days after the boy and I began speaking, my brother told me that he "has his eye on me" which I guess means he finds me attractive. He is very attractive and has an amazing personality, so I was excited. We went out on Sunday to dinner and such, and though we are both quiet people I really enjoyed it.
I have been doing fairly well, and it surprises, pleases, and almost frightens me. I'm worrying very little compared to how I usually do whenever I spend one-on-one time with guys I find attractive. The only thing that's getting to me is that I'm a sucker for assurance. We text often, and being a teenage boy who (may be) shy about liking a girl he doesn't say many things about liking me yet, and this makes me feel as if he doesn't have interest. Then the thoughts come: "Why would you think you're good enough for him?" "He has better things to do than be with you." "Don't text him, you'll be annoying". We text everyday since we can't see each other, and whenever I ask him to call or text he does without contemplation.
So basically, I over-analyse.
What I would like advice on is how to get over these thoughts, since they branch into other anxiety-causing, negative thoughts. What do I tell myself or how to I calm down when I start getting down on myself for no reason? Spending time with him is amazing, I feel so comfortable and it's the first time I've felt this way with anyone. If we excel into a relationship, casual or serious, I don't want to ruin it with worrying.
Thanks!
Maggie