PDA

View Full Version : Anxiety caused by Drugs



buggy999
05-12-03, 20:58
I'm a young, healthy man of 22 years of age. I'm extremely physically fit and exercise daily. I run 3 miles every day and regularly lift weights. I'm a confident person and have a large number of friends. At the age of 15 I started smoking cannabis on a daily basis with friends. It was something new and 'cool' thing to do at the time and it didn't seem like I was doing anything wrong. I then moved onto to taking ecstasy most weekends from the age of 17 to 20 while out night-clubbing with friends. I stopped taking ecstasy and stayed away from the clubbing scene and it started to make me feel very depressed and started giving me various other horrible side effects i.e. low self esteem, paranoia etc. These died down after I stopped taking ecstasy.
Following a promotion at work I recently (4 weeks ago) decided it was time to go for a clean break and kick the habit of using cannabis after 7 years of pretty heavy use. I decided that there other things that I wanted to do with my life and that drug abuse had claimed enough of my time. So I just stopped smoking it about 4 weeks ago... period. My new job is extremely stressful and I'm in a position of authority and very well paid for someone of my age. It's hard work but I enjoy it and enjoy working with my work-mates. Anyway, the first 7 days of quitting were easy although sleeping was difficult and I felt quite low and very stressed at work. Then one Thursday night as I was dropping off to sleep I had a sudden, sharp intense dream (I can't even remember what it was about) and when I awoke I was terrified, I didn't know what to do with myself and thought I was going to die. This feeling of terror seemed to grow and grow inside the pit of my stomach and I could hear my own heart beating!!! It seemed to reach a peak and then I almost fainted and collapsed on my bed. I didn't know what had happened and lay there on my bed feeling exhausted. I felt shaky and still very frightened. The following day in work I felt very nervous for no reason at all and had constant butterflies in my stomach. This nervousness would grow and grow and it would feel like I was about to have another episode like the previous nights. This made work almost impossible. I decided to tell my mother (who is very supportive and understanding) what was happening to me. She said I was suffering from anxiety and it was due to the fact that I had been smoking cannabis for 7 years and I had suddenly stopped and the anxiety was a result of this. The anxiety continued, sometimes a low level and sometimes quite high... almost like a see-saw effect. This had made my working life a living hell which I believe added to the anxiety. The strange dreams and sudden awakenings continued, but none as intense as the first one experienced. After two weeks of living in HELL I decided to see my doctor who prescribed me a 2 week course of 2mg Diazepam tablets, 1 every evening to relax me before I went to sleep. Which has helped a lot and has made the dreams not so intense, but they are still there. My doctor has told me that the anxiety should fade. Infact it does feel as though it is fading, slightly day by day. BUT, I'll have say 2 good days and then 1 bad day that makes me wonder whether it will ever go! Exercise seems to help a lot as well. A good hard run leaves me feeling a lot better. I do feel a bit better day by day but was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences? How long did it take to recover completely? I find that an extremely stressful couple of hours in work can set it off and still even today leave me feel mentally paralysed for a good 20 minutes and very shaky. I sometimes feel like just getting up and walking out of work. I do know that there are some excellent techniques for dealing with anxiety, breathing through the nose and accepting the anxiety and not fighting it. But sometimes it can hit you so hard and so fast it takes you by surprise, especially when you had believed you were nearly over it. Do I need to be more patient and just keep going and try not to dwell on it? I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER FOR JUST

nomorepanic
05-12-03, 21:34
Hi buggy

Welcome to the site. It sounds like you have had a bad run of things recently but you still sound very positive so that is good.

I have no personal experience of drug use (only alcohol) and I did become more and more dependant on that when I was at my worst.

Good for you to deciding to stop !!

I am not surprised your body is reacting - it is probably in withdrawal. The diazpam is a very low dose - I have 2mg as well (not taken it for over 3 years but it is there just in case).

As you say exercise is very good for the panic and anxiety - mine went after starting an exercise regime.

As for support, well I am sure there are some other posts on here about panic and using drugs. Let me just look some up for you and then get back to you.

I hope you manange to stay "clean" and beat both the drug withdrawal and the anxiety.

Take care


Nicola

nomorepanic
05-12-03, 21:44
Hi again

I am sure there were some posts but I can't find them. I tried using the search facility at the top of the page but couldn't think what to search for apart from "cannabis" and "dope".

Hopefully more people will post here to offer some advice.

Nicola

Meg
06-12-03, 01:18
Hi buggy,

You're withdrawing and have withdrawal anxiety. It would have been easier to taper it but the main thing is you're off them now and past the worst so well done !!!!

With recreational drug induced ones - time and patience is the healer along with keeping your Right brain hemisphere busy with good things...

Craetive stuff, drama, reading imaginative novels with lots of descriptions etc, painting, writing fiction yourself when you're awake so you can control it. Visual meditations.


Essentially your brain is experiencing drug withdrawal and is crying out for some more . You need to provide it with stronger stimulus than it can itself. As you say- it will weaken its hold daily but it helps to provide an enjoyable alternative it can cling to in the meanwhile.

This is very common with all recreational drugs and with shrooms too.

Don't give in to it. Keep up with your daily life and the exercise is brilliant but do learn to guide the quiet brain in the way you want it to go.

Your Mum is absolutely right.

Come back and let us know how you are doing ...G

ood luck and congratulations on your new career

Meg



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

jonny
06-12-03, 18:06
Hey Buggy,

I have been lurking around this site for a while but unfortunately of late I have been very pushed for time and don't post much. But I felt I just had to respond to you because you story sound almost identical to mine!!

I am 30 and took only the milder drugs such as cannabis, E , and Lsd and only very rarely. But I can back you up 100% and say that they are nothing but trouble and will in one way or another wreck your life. My brother has ruined his on hard drugs and is just coming out of rehab after over a years stays in a community so fingers crossed he will be able to put the pieces back together.
As for me, well that's another story. I was left for dead on a rusty old fire escape after only my second E and not learning my lesson I played with LSD which gave me the worst trip ever....something that set me on a 10 year road of anxiety, blind panic and depression. Drugs are a major trigger for mental illness. Its a shame that kids just don't listen to their 'Killjoy' elders. I wish i had.

Please don't despair and think that you too will suffer for as long as I have because if you listen to the advice of doctors, friends and fellow sufferers there is no reason that you cannot recover or learn to ease the misery. My major mistake was to try and fight it and by doing that you will only help it take a firmer grip on your life. ANXIETY FEEDS ANXIETY FEEDS ANXIETY FEEDS ANXIETY FEEDS ANXIETY FEEDS and so on....... The key is to break the circle of repetitive thinking, which I know is easier said than done - but it can be done.
You are already doing the right things such as exercise - a major healer of anxiety, just wish I could do it (I am a lazy git). Anxiety is nothing more than stress and the way you interpret it. Exercise can rid your body of stress, so keep it up. But i have to say that the diazepam should only be used as an emergency crutch and never used liberally. Benzos only mask the anxiety, which will in my opinion, return as soon as you stop taking them. I have a secret supply of them and take one maybe once or twice a month and only if I feel so desperate that I am about to top myself.

You will get better mate, its just a matter of time. And remember above all that they are just feelings and they can do you no real harm. You wont die even if you wish you would! I have spent many a bad night awaking to those feelings of panic and I still do every now and then but I have just accepted that " thats me'. A nutter!! lol And once you accept that it will happen and that you can cope with it, well you've taken the first step to beating it.
I have only just, this year, decided to take positive action to help myself. I used to think i could fight it off - but you can't. You have to accept it and understand it and remember you are not alone. 'But i am the only one who feels this bad' i hear you say. Trust me you ain't. None of us are that unique. If you talk about it to people you will find that it is more common than you think and just by talking you will feel better too.

Drop by the chat room some time, its normally busy after 9pm. Or if you wanna chat you can get me on MSN Messenger [ jonnyskyman@hotmail.com ] , or is that hotmale? Never can remember ;)

best of luck mate.

keep posting

Jonny

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...:D:D

twister
07-12-03, 21:53
Hi

Just to let you know I have done drugs in the past and now suffer from anxiety. The psychiatrist I recently saw was completely uninterested in this and said it would have no bearing on me now, so I just thought I'd let you know it should be a temporary thing.

Emily

buggy999
07-12-03, 22:26
Nicola, Meg, Jonny and Emily,
Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my post. It's a shame that people, especially young people don't realise what they are actually getting themselves into when they start to abuse illegal substances. I believe that educating young people as to the LONG TERM effects of drug use should be of paramount importance.
I realise that anxiety is just a feeling and that one shouldn't let it get on top of you, but sometimes it can hit so hard without warning that it can be very difficult to not let it overcome you.
It occurred to me only today that my anxiety could be caused by the withdrawal of nicotine from my system as I no longer smoke cannabis joints containing tobacco. So today, each time I felt the butterfly type feeling in my heart and stomach I have smoked a cigerette and within minutes of doing so the anxious feeling disappeared. Previously I hadn't been smoking cigerettes, just cannabis joints, 2 to 4 every day. 1 joint supposidly contains the same amount of nicotine and tar as 6 cigerettes as the joint is unfiltered. So therefore, I was intaking 12 - 24 cigerettes worth of nicotine and tar per day. So then to suddenly stop a daily intake of both Cannabis and also Tobacco also combined with extreme stress at work I think has played complete havoc with my system. Do you believe this could also have had a bearing on my anxiety? Does nicotine withdrawal cause extreme anxiety? I realise by starting to smoke more regularly I'm going to become reliant on cigerettes. But, I'd rather tackle one problem at a time and see cannabis as the bigger problem. I have found that exercise, whistling or singing, chewing gum or TALKING about my anxiety all help. I just hope to have a normal happy life and wish you all the same... so chin-up and always try to think positive. Thank you all very much for your support and I wish you all the best of luck in tackling your own anxiety and panic related issues.

twister
07-12-03, 22:30
yes, it is known that nicotine withdrawal can have a big effect on anxiety. why dont you try the patches - less damage to your lungs......

Emily

Meg
07-12-03, 22:48
Hi buggy,

Absolutely , withdrawal from any substance can be difficult and will have effects on you.
Also the long exhale when you smoke a ciggy is very calming- it's essentially abdominal breathing.

I highly recommend a vit B and C complex whilst you are still smoking as B is much depleted with smoking and that's the vitamin that holds your nervous system together. Vitamin C is an antioxidant to counteract the smoking and boost your immune system.

www.questvitamins.co.uk do a-both-in one tablet .

Nic - You might want to think about this too...



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Laurie28
08-12-03, 13:09
Hiya,

When I was experiencing tight feeling in my throat (like being strangled) I gave up smoking (for 10 weeks using patches)
I thought at that point I had a throat infection not anxiety.

In the end I had to go back on the cigarettes as it was another 'stress' quitting.

Anyhow when I get the anxiety 'under control' a bit more I will try again (the patches are really good though)
Love
lucky

buggy999
08-12-03, 20:35
Feeling a lot better in myself today evening though I had another nightmare day at work that made me feel very down and think very badly of myself for an hour or so... but everyone gets that from time to time and I can get really hard on myself for things that aren’t even my own fault. The problem is the company I work for has made about 2/3's of it's staff redundant over the past 3 years without replacing ANY of the people who left. I'm now doing what was once the work of 3 people. And my immediate boss doesn't care about my work load or the obvious stress he can see me in every day but prefers to spend his day writing emails to the various women he is having affairs with and doesn't himself like to ever break into a sweat but ducks out of the way of all work... he's the ultimate delegator... if he had his way he would have me follow him to the toilet and wipe his bum for him. I'd say if anything, at times he might even get some perverse pleasure out of seeing me trying to do 10 things at once and then watching them blow up in my face and seeing me getting stick from my other superiors as I have caught him smirking when things have gone wrong for me. I think he is a little sour about the unwanted attention a female member of staff was giving me that he really, really liked but gave him the blow-off. The boss above him isn't a people-person and is himself doing the job of about 3 people and I can't see him being very understanding. I'm a proud person and don't like to admit I need help with things (other than on this website because you guys are great and very down to earth). This is all leading to the stress I'm suffering at work and subsequent anxiety... along with the quitting cannabis and now needing to smoke 10 cig's a day!!! I'm thinking about just getting work elsewhere. If there is ever any advice on drugs or ANY topic what-so-ever please don't hesitate to ask me PLEASE as you've all been here to help me. Even when I’m feeling 100% better I’m still going to keep coming back to this web page to offer an ear, because I know how much a little bit of advise or having someone outside of your immediate life to type-to can help so much in getting back to your old self. Take care and chin-up!

buggy999
08-12-03, 20:37
P.S. Meg, I'll get some vitimins tomorrow!

Meg
08-12-03, 21:07
Hi Buggy,

Most large companies function on fear or guilt.

If you don't allow yourself to create and live that emotion - your feelings remember - they cannot get to you. If it doesn't get done - does anyone die ?

If you were to not be there for a period of time the company would still tick over. I learnt too late that I wasn't indispensible and it didn't all HAVE to be done.

My boss once lost her intray in a move and spent 2 days frantic over these vital things. Nothing ever happened and she didn't have to even make excuses.

Ambition and drive is great and a fabulous motivator but it's not the only thing.
He manages to get by by doing precious little - you would get by doing a full days work but not too much to adversely affect your healing.

Health is so precious. Do not let some faceless company make you ill. They don't have to pick up the pieces.



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

nomorepanic
08-12-03, 22:36
quote:Originally posted by Radar


www.questvitamins.co.uk do a-both-in one tablet .

Nic - You might want to think about this too...


Meg - thanks I will take a look at it and order some to replace all that lot I threw away![8D]

Nicola

buggy999
11-12-03, 23:48
Hey All,
Hope everyone is ok? I've not been good over the past few days. The anxiety has really died down but now I'm left just feeling extremely depressed. I seem to be alright one minute and then before I know it my depression is spiralling out of control... in the same kind of way my anxiety did. At it's worst thoughts of suicide enter my head, even though I know I never would harm myself. I'm really lost and don't know what to do and my self-esteem has never been lower. It seems to be almost a Yo-Yo effect, up and down, up and down. The 'ups' are more of a 'feeling ok(ish)' and the downs get really bad, I just want to burst into tears most of the time, even at work. I want nothing more than to stay away from Cannabis but I can't help but think that I was much, much happier while smoking it. My existance at the moment is miserable to say the least. I don't want to anti-depressants either as I'd rather battle this without them and I have decided to stop taking my 2mg of Diazepam also as I don't think that was helping any either than with sleep.

Meg
12-12-03, 00:00
Hi Buggy,

This is the probably the last of the withdrawal.. keep at it. Cannabis is a mood altering drug, you took it for ages - you are now readjusting.

Combined with daily work stress and the shock of all this its not suprising. Take care of yourself during this time more than ever.

Eat well and regularly, exercise hard and take Vit B and omega 3.






Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

jonny
12-12-03, 20:54
quote:Originally posted by buggy999

I don't want to anti-depressants either as I'd rather battle this without them and I have decided to stop taking my 2mg of Diazepam also as I don't think that was helping any either than with sleep.


As i said in my previous post diazepam is not a good road to go down but it does have its place in treatment, keep it as an emergency tool. If you think that it didn't work then my guess is 2mg is not enough. Try taking 2 at once next time you feel the panic starting.
As for anti depressants i think you would be wrong to dismiss them as they do wonders for many many people. I have lived on them for about ten years now and i do feel better for it. In the early days i , like you, didn't fancy them and tried to battle on without them but it got me no where. I had a phobia of ALL drugs and it took months before i finally swollowed my first prozac! And then i was sick
Depression and anxiety come hand in hand and if you can beat one then the other is bound to ease.
If you had diabetes would you take the drugs? Of course you would - this is no different. Depression is a disease and needs treatment just the same. Please do not deny youself the help they can bring. Hey, even princess Di took prozac! The following is a quote from the medication forum:

Thanx 2 every1 for the advice about prozac,
ive now been on prozac for about 2 months
and it has changed my life, i am now doing things
that seemed imposible a few weeks ago.
Im much happier and now feel have have got my
life back, ive even been back to school

And thats a schoolgirl....Bless her.






I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

nomorepanic
13-12-03, 20:33
Jon

have you not considered coming off the drugs to see if you can cope without it?

Nicola

nomorepanic
13-12-03, 20:33
Buggy

Don't give in now when you are doing so well. You can beat it and your life will be so much better without the drugs.

Nicola

jonny
13-12-03, 22:15
quote:Originally posted by nomorepanic

Jon

have you not considered coming off the drugs to see if you can cope without it?

Nicola


My anxiety is feed by my depression, i think. I took prozac for so long i just think it stopped working and the the anxiety came flooding back. So now i have some new ones and they are working well.
my doc seems to think i may be one of those that need to take the forever and i dont care about that, as long as i feel good (not doped up) i am happy.

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

nomorepanic
13-12-03, 23:32
Jon

Don't you feel that you should try though - to see if you can cope without. I am sure that long term medication is not good for us. That is why I stopped - didn't want to be on them all my life. I felt as though i wasn't really cured till i did it alone with no drugs.

Nicola

jonny
14-12-03, 15:46
quote:Originally posted by nomorepanic

Jon

Don't you feel that you should try though - to see if you can cope without. I am sure that long term medication is not good for us. That is why I stopped - didn't want to be on them all my life. I felt as though i wasn't really cured till i did it alone with no drugs.

Nicola


Sure i thought about it but i doubt i ever will. I have resigned myself to the fact that i have an illness (long term) that requires long term treatment. As i have said to Buggy, if i had Diabetes or another disease, no one would bat an eye to the fact the i would be on medication for life. I don't feel addicted to anything as antidepressants don't get you that way and i dont feel any less of of a man for taking them. I feel better in myself so i will continue on with them until i don't.
Life is too short to worry about what we should do or what others think we should do....i do what makes me feel well and helps each day tick over. That is the pills. Some people only need a few months course to help them win back the blue skies, some need years and others need decades. I see myself as the latter and so does my doctor. I trust him.
I have wasted to many years of my young life battling on and i dont want the next ten years to be the same. I would rather say that i spent my life in peace and happiness than in a drug free hell.

Jonny

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

Waffle
14-12-03, 16:03
quote:Originally posted by buggy999

....I want nothing more than to stay away from Cannabis but I can't help but think that I was much, much happier while smoking it.


Well in my experience I can say nothing positive of cannabis. I can count the times I have tried it on one hand. I tried it a very long time ago... oh probably 9 years ago. It is my opinion that trying it all those years ago helped me develop agoraphobia (although I have improved a lot since). With people I know now who are involved in "recreational" drugs I can see negative aspects of their lives that are caused by the drugs themselves. I think its great you have stopped buggy999 and I think this can only benefit you. Perhaps a visit back to your GP might help re the depression. I do know that anxiety is more easily overcome using "self help" methods than depression is.

It also sounds as if your job may be a source of anxiety and depression for you in itself but I could be wrong here... Perhaps you could take a look at your job and see how much extra pressure this is giving you. If you come to the conclusion that it has a significant impact then it may be a good idea to tackle this. In this case I would look at getting help from your trade union (if you have one), Welfare / Staff assistance officer (large companies sometimes employ a welface officer who is a registered consellor and these people are ideally placed to bring about changes in your working conditions if possible). If you don't have access to either of these perhaps a different manager who you may feel more able to talk to. More drastically, maybe you might like a change of job? Its my opinion that as we spend a huge chunk of our waking lives at work, it should at the very worst be at least be tolerable! lol

jonny
14-12-03, 17:22
quote:Originally posted by Waffle
. More drastically, maybe you might like a change of job? Its my opinion that as we spend a huge chunk of our waking lives at work, it should at the very worst be at least be tolerable! lol


hear , hear!

I think i am right in saying that any employer has a duty, if not legal obligation, to protect their employees from levels of stress that impact on your health. If i were buggy i would have a quite word with my HR dept.
I too came to a point in my job where my life was suffering because of actions of those higher up than me....one call to HR mentioning - stress, anxiety, undue pressures, doctors, benzos, hospitalization and psychiatrists - and they soon took note. End of stress! My line manager did not know for over a year why he was told to let up on me but he knew he had to. I shouldn't say this but it is always a trump card up your sleeve that you can pull out at times of disciplinaries ect.... keep that one to yourself.
Companies now HAVE to be more considerate less face lawsuits later on - play on that.

Jonny


I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

nomorepanic
14-12-03, 20:28
Jon

I am pleased that the medication is working and good for you to sticking to it - like you say better to feel well and not worry what others say.

I am on high blood-pressure medication and the doc told me it was for life - but I am determined to get off it at some time cos I do believe it aggrevates my panic.

If you are feeling better then no need to come off so you have made the right choice.

Nicola

marty
14-03-04, 19:57
Hi im martin a new member i am 25 years old,my panic attacks started six years ago when i was 19 friends takeing amphetamine i basically just took it a few times because of peer pressure.
My panic attacks started there its horrible problem too have it speeds your heartrate up makes you think your dying etc.It does take a long time too sort yourself out you have too be 200 per cent strong mentally and physically pls email me anyone if you want a chat martindutton2003@yahoo.co.uk

april tones
18-03-04, 00:15
hi, i went through the same nearly 3 years ago, took e`s for few years then i o.d and went to hospital in ambulance, i had what felt like major panick attack which ended up lasing weeks, i took speed to. i thought my brain was leaking, i had to be knocked out with sedatives. That experience still effects me now as thats why i think i worry about dyin so much, i took anti deppressants then and they helped but i wouldnt take again as i scared of side effects. I was that bad i had feelings of falling when sleeping and felt like i was walking on a slant. i am much better now but suffer with unwanted thoughts now and post natal deppression, think i must be prone to all mental illnesses. im dead against drugs now too! i have always been a worryer but this made me worse

apriltones

marty
28-04-04, 18:34
sorry too hear that april tones im very much against drugs too,i can understand the fear of dying my last six years or so has been plagued by it really