View Full Version : I need help!
Hi All, Im new here so could do with some advice if anyone can help.
Ive been suffering panic attacks for almost 10yrs , Until recently they weren't frequent but a lot has happened in my life which has made the attacks worse. I have spoken to my GP and have been prescribed this and that, nothing seems to help.
The attacks come on suddenly without warning, no matter if im in the shower, speaking on the phone or on the bus.
As anyone who takes these knows only too well how frightening they are, literally think you're going to die.
I never travel too far without my faithful little brown breathing bag although I cannot take this out in public or people will think ive lost my marbles - or worse im a glue sniffer!!
Ive tried the fight or flight technique saying to myself im not going to let this get me im fighting im fighting - I lose the fight - so its the Flight part of it and I have to go with it - let the panic attack come on and pray it goes quick, when its over Im zapped of all energy im sick , dripping with sweat and doing more shaking than the average last leaf on a tree.
Because my family have never suffered from these they dont understand how much it affects my life, im afraid to go out incase one comes on, im almost housebound.
Bringing me to my problem after digressing so much!
I have just discovered that next year my husband has planned for both our 50th Birthdays his is in Jan mine in April - a holdiay to Las Vegas, Most people feel this is a trip of a lifetime but for me its a nightmare in the making. If I can take ill at home what on earth will it be like in a country 1000's of miles away?
I spoke to my husband and explained how these panic attacks makes me feel - that I dont want to go, But his words were ' They have hospitals over there' He just doesnt seem to grasp the concept that I neither want to go away - and if I do the last place I wish to end up in, is a hospital.
My husband has been in the room with me time and time again when an attack has come on, but he still doesn't understand. Im at my wits end
What can I do - Anyone got suggestions?
Id be really grateful for any help. - Dee :)
De, you can win this battle. The trick is to never fight the battle in the first place. I've been where you are. I have been to the emergency room over 5 times and at my worst I was homebound for 3 months without leaving the same room in my house. I was 175lbs and I went down to 135lbs during that time, I was sure I was physically sick or going insane. I had terrifying panic attacks just about every couple of hours leaving me so weak that I could not move much. I can go on and on but I am sure everyone reading this post knows exactly what I mean. I was so sick of no doctor ever knowing how to help me except trying to put me on all kinds of meds ... and I DON'T DO MEDS. I am more afraid of the meds then I am of the panic attacks, this is the sick part of our personalities. We are just worriers. It took me very little time to realize that there was not much knowledge about this condition out there in the medical world. Oh, yes everyone knows what it is but there is no money to be made by curing people from this so most docs are more then happy to just get your money for the consult and send you on your way with a prescription. I figured that if I would ever beat this I would have to do it my self, so I set out to become my own doctor. Not a bad thing, if you ask me. For the past few years I have learned everything possible about the brain, how the human mind works, anxiety, panic attacks, nerves, human anatomy and whatever else you can think of. I probably know more about the human brain and psychology then most board certified psychiatrists. By educating myself about this condition, I was able to pretty much control it to the point where it does not interfere with my life any more. I don't think that we will ever be able to get rid of it completely, because it is just how we are wired, we will always be effected by stress much worse then most people , it's just how we are wired. Nothing wrong with that, all of us are different, we are better at other things then many people we just have to accept our shortcomings as well as our blessings. We are not bad, just different. Our brains are constantly thinking in over drive every waking moment. The problem that causes us to be the way we are is that our pattern of thinking is distorted. That's all there is to it. We create our own reality... this is the most honest thing you will ever hear about this condition. We create it ourselves, not willingly of course but by our way of thinking. Our brain is the most sophisticated organ in this universe. It is capable of extraordinary things. It is the director of our life movie if you will. The way your brain processes and filters information will make the difference in your ultimate destiny. Will you walk through life as it were heaven on earth or will you live though your own private hell. It is our own choice. I know it seems very simple, but trust me it is. The only way you will ever be able to control your brain and your body is to understand them both. No medicine will ever be able to help us in the long run. I am not against meds, I've had to take a few pills at my worst moments, but meds will do more damage in the long run then good. The only way to beat this is to learn how to beat it by controlling your brain, and I know that is possible. If you want me to teach you how to do it... I will try, but it will take much more then one post and a lot of effort and trust on your part. I am not a doctor, I am new to this site, and I have only been able to help myself overcome anxiety and panic so far... so I am not guaranteeing anything. But I am quite confident that anyone can get rid of this horrible condition if they have the willpower to do it using the same techniques I did. I have done all the research and trial and error and I am willing to share my info with anyone who reads this post and wants to give it a shot. I am not selling anything, I just think that the only way we will ever find a way out of this debilitating hell is to help each other, share information and work together to find a long term solution. Anyone can email me personally and I will attempt to help out as much as I can.
"We can beat panic & anxiety"
Hi Dee
Firstly, you need to find a voodoo doll the shape of your husband and do a panic attack spell on it so he knows what it's like ;)
What else have you tried apart from meds? I am not a fan of meds myself but I have found in the past that beta blockers taken "as needed" have taken the edge off the attacks.
There are other methods with treating panic, like CBT, talk therapies etc and if your GP has not discussed these with you, then I would have a chat with him about it.
I am a fan of Claire Weekes work. If you have never come across her, she was an Australian Docter specialising in anxiety disorders and went on to create self-help books,. I beleive there are free downloads of MP3's on this site and you can buy her books here.
As to the Vegas trip. Already you are suffering from anticipation anxiety. I wager you are already thinking "what if this and that happens" in a foreign land.
Without getting too indepth, anxiety/panic is not an illness of how we feel, but how we think, how we feel is a by-product of how we think. I was ill for a few years, not housebound, but would have terrible out of the blue panics and I couldn't remember not going on holiday in the UK without sheer panic.
Once I learned what anxiety/panic was, how it developed and what thoughts and steps I could take to get better, I eventually got my anxiety to a level that only stressful situations send me into a wee spin now, and not just panic for no reason. I even went to Menorca this year and didn't want to come home (usually, I hated every min of being away).
Have a look around, check out the Claire Weekes books, eat well, try and fit in light exercise each day, and talk to your GP about CBT type therapies.
Put the trip out of your mind for now.
Keep posting on your progress.
Good luck
Jaco
Hi Nicco ( a george michael fan i see - as am I )
Reading your post I can identify with a lot of what you said, although it does seem very intricate - for you to do so much research into the psychological side of the brain must have been hellish hard work, proves though the extremes you went too to try and get to the bottom of the panic attacks and to self help yourself.
I would welcome any kind of help as I do not see any solution by popping a pill. I also have ended up in hospital thinking I was taking a heart attack so many times - I had to have an endyscope which showed id a sliding hernia along with inflamation of the stomach lining which only added to my panic attacks as Im still not convinced im not a future candidate for stomach cancer - I watched two of my Uncles pass away to this horrible illness recently which explains why my panic attacks have increased.
As stated on my original message I would be gratetul for any advice and help given. So I am taking you up on this offer. Thank you :)
Hi,
Well I cant really reply to this, but to say, I am in that living hell with my thoughts. Any slight pain and I'm dying!! I would certainly welcome any help to change my way of thinking as I know thats the problem that is stopping me from moving on.
Hi Jaco
The voodoo doll isn't a bad idea, although there are other areas of my husbands body id like to inflict pain and not necessarily just his head Lol. I have to show some sympathy to him as he has The dreaded Man Flu at the moment and we all know just how bad that can be for the guys..Got to be careful what I say here as I dont know your gender and I dont want to be making any enemies already. Ive just got here!!
Im not a fan of your football team I must admit - but to each their own!
I haven't used anything else apart from the beta blockers which I dont want to be reliant on pills as they can bring another set of problems that ends up becoming an addiction so Im stemming away from these. My GP isn't very sympathic and said if Im not willing to accept what he's offering why come down to see him? He makes me feel like im wasting his and my time - there's a female gp in the practice so I spoke to her the advice she gave was to try and clear my mind - take deep breathes until it goes. Fat lot of use she is/was.
I am interested in this CBT - what exactly is that as I have never heard of it before?
Is there any particular Anne Weekes download for the mp3 thats better than the others? I also have not heard of this person either so again Im interested in that.
Regarding my pending holiday - Yep you're correct in saying im uptight over it as I have this horrible phobia of taking a panic attack and dying abroad. I know when im thinking/feeling logical a panic attack isnt going to kill me - but during one it sure as hell feels like im dying. As the way I see it is - If I can take upto 15 of these per day in Belfast - how could I cope in Vegas - trying to get this message through to my husbands thick skull is virtually impossible he's told me it's all paid for - and I told him im not going - go get your money back!
Thank you for the advice alls been taken on board.
Dee
I am very new to this site; however, not new to panic attacks. I have had them off and on for over 20years. Both my Sister's have them as well. I am not a doctor. I am not a counselor. I am knowledgeable in getting through the moments. First, if the thought of traveling bothers you, the take short trips now. Continue doing so until the trips get longer. Know this, your "safe place" is actually in your "heart and mind". You can relax and get comfortable anywhere. As far as being lost? You are never, ever nowhere. You are always somewhere and someone at somewhere can help you get to where you got to go. This may sound weird to you, but it is helpful to play out worst case senerios in your mind. I even saw on Dr. Phil he did it with someone that had severe panic attacks. Truth is, yes bad things happen. However, wherever you may travel, there is usally a hospital. A doctor. Help is always there. If you are on an airplane, they have oxygen. Usually, there is always a doctor or nurse on the flight. I actually did exactly what I am suggesting for you to do. I was once so panicked I would not drive durring a storm. So, I decided I would not be the "victim" and I got in the car and drove durring a major storm. It worked. I still could feel a little scared sometimes, but everyone else on the road probably does too! :D Misery sometimes really does love company. Just try some baby steps. The more success you have the better you should feel. Try considering a cruise. The thought of it blew me away and I was sure I would have to be flown home. I got meds before the cruise, anti panic, antibiotics, anti everything. I wore the patch to not get nauseated. The only thing I used was the patch. I never got sick (everyone else did) I had the time of my life and was having so much fun, that I never once even had a slight attack! Amazing, way out there in the ocean and it was okay. I think it was because I did not focus on, me. I focused on fun. I thought it would have been the biggest nightmere of my life, and it was the highlight of my life! Same with right now. Stop giving time to the negative things in your life and find your happiness. If you don't know where it is, then look for it by ..trying. Good luck. Sorry to have written so much. I hope it helps. If it is not working, try something else, so if your thoughts are not good, then think about good! Key thought here was "occupy your thoughts with good things"! :)
Demac
The voodoo doll idea was brilliant - I would like to try this on a few people lol. Oh NO! Not a man in the house with the dreadful deblitating worse ever than anyone could imagine "MAN FLU".
Thing is, I know you don't like the idea of taking meds but you do get to a point with this thing where you just can't take any more and I have to say those who don't submit to meds are "better men or women than I". You have only tried beta blockers, there are other meds to try. If they are addictive then one has to accept that. I personally wouldn't mind being addicted ... that's if the meds did what they were meant to. People do have great success with anti depressants many on this forum feel so much better for taking them.
The holiday would freak me out as well - so you have to get some help now. It's Claire Weekes and you can get her downloads on this site somewhere.
Good Luck.
NIKKO
You do indeed seem to know a lot about how our brains work. Fancy sharing your findings with all of us, this is after all a support forum and if you know stuff that we don't then please ....... FIRE AWAY.
Thank you everyone for the words of advice - would help greatly if I actually got peoples names right - Duh! Apologies to Nikko.
Lakampas - I have tried as you suggested by taking short trips recently I flew to Liverpool it was a 35 min flight and during this I took a severe panic attack - the staff on the flight were more than helpful. When I got to the John Lennon Airport I sat there rooted to the spot for 5 hrs - unable to get outside the main doors - it was a return flight so I came home later that evening - two more panic attacks occured.
Also in August this year my sister her husband, myself and my husband had a 4 day trip to Prague - I knew this wasnt such a good idea - I was ill the whole time we went away. Didn't prevent the other three from having a good time as they went and got razzled - Leaving me with my brown breathing bag to cope alone.
My quality of life is so bad at the moment - I go to bed ill - I waken during the night ill - and I get up the next morning ill. Knowing what kind of day that's ahead of me - same crap different shovel.
The panic attacks are controlling my life and I don't know how to get it back on track - My Gp did suggest I take anti-depressants but the only drawback with those are - my life insurance would be affected - the company stipulates it won't payout if the person is taking this medication.
The whole thing is driving me cuckoo I know other sufferer's feel the same way. But it is in a cruel way comforting to know that Im not alone with this.
This forum is an absolute godsend
Thanks again everyone - Dee :)
Dee-Sorry to hear the moments are so great. I am glad you get relief here on this site. I have severe panic attacks and when I am having one, I feel so alone. It is like none of the people around me can really help, they don't know what it is like. For me, I definately have to immediately re-focus on happier thoughts. I do this at bed time as well. I do not allow myself to think about worries, stress, the unknown or anything that could interfere with my sleep. I do not sleep 8hours. I sleep about 6 hours and wake up maybe 2x but go right back to sleep. I hope the best for you and I do understand your pain! Perhaps tonight will be a peaceful night! :D
Thank you Lakampas, Severe panic attacks are far from pleasant so I know only too well how you feel. I should have mentioned earlier how brave you were to travel through a storm the way you did - I couldn't have. But then again there's a bigger storm raging through our minds that takes complete control of our bodies - So until someone can cure them we just have to suffer on regardless. All the best to you too - Goodnight & sleep well - Dee :smile:
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