can't cope, i really need advice and support

[louise0501]

hey, i feel so low at the moment and i don't know what to do anymore, tonight i had my first panic attack in ages and i really freaked out and then my family just laughed at me coz of how i reacted, they seem to think that its something i can just stop, i wish it was that simple.

My mum got drunk tonight, i really think she has a drinking problem, but she dowsn't think she does and i don't think she ever will, i love her so much and it's so frustrating to not be able to help her, theres nothing i can do. i don't want to lose her and i know that will happen if she doesn't stop drinking.

I seem to be getting really angry as well and i am lashing out at people i care about.

i also am getting a lot of headaches which was actually what brought on the panic attack tonight. i feel so stressed out as i hate being at home and i hate being at work and i just feel so alone in the world right now. i have no idea what to do anymore? any advice would really help?

Please reply

Love Louise

P.S sorry for long post XX

[Veronica H]

Hi Louise
Sorry you are having such a hard time. It is difficult for people who have not had panic attacks to appreciate how we feel. We understand here. You cannot change the behaviour of others until they are ready to change themselves but you can change your reaction to it. The frustration you feel is sensitising your nerves. There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'Self help for your nerves' published by Thorsons ISBN 978-0-7225-3155-6. This is available from the NMP Shop. I cannot recommend this enough as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover. Her recordings can be downloaded free to your MP3 from the NMP Shop too. Keep posting Louise there are some very supportive people here.

Veronica

[Cherbear]

Oh Louise, have some massive hugs on me:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

You are not alone, is there anyone you can talk to about your mums drinking problem? Sometimes people laugh at things like that because they don't know how else to react, which sounds bad but trust me there are people on here who can help you and understand:hugs:

Please talk to someone you trust about how you feel:hugs: xx

[GemmaAnn]

Hey Louise,

You sound just like me! Cant stand being at home and work isnt much better, feels like you have nowhere to go :(
My family also dont understand and I get a lot of grief for being 'moody' and 'locking myself in my bedroom'. It really is very frustrating - but talking about it to people who understand can help more than you think :) feel free to PM
xx

[Grayw]

It's natural you are feeling like that,ive been feeling the same lately but i'm more uplifted now...hope it lasts.My mum used to drink a lot in the 80's as she has bad ocd and she was using the booze to deaden it and also regretted moving to the house we then lived in wich started her ocd in the first place.usualy the nights ended with her getting violent and every weekend was a nightmare as she blamed dad for the move.She gave up overnight though and doesnt touch alcohol now at all.The situation is just stressing you out more i know and its hard to divert your mum away from the booze as that has to be a personal descision,be assured i know how you are feeling like a lot of folk on here,Gray.

[rosy]

Hi louise

Check out your local Al-Anon organisation for relatives of alcoholics. They should be in the phone book.

Hope things get better for u soon.

Love from Rosy

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi louise im so sorry your having a hard time of it, i know its really hard to do but if you are in a panic, sit down and try to go all floppy like a rag doll start to take slow deep breaths and you will find you will start to come out of it relaxing sends the panic away love paige x

[pedropanic]

Hi Louise,

Much love from Australia! Dealing with panic attacks is so desperately isolating, but to have your family laugh at you AND be dealing with an alcoholic mother? I'm so proud of you for even being able to type that post! I'd be in the corner crying.

Panic attacks are real and you might like to find some literature online or in books to help your family understand them so they can support you.

Take it from someone who knows you CAN'T help an alcoholic, she needs to get to a point where she wants to help herself. Just remember she feels guilt and shame about her drinking, so don't accuse or criticise. Just love, support and encourage. And somehow, if you can, find peace with the fact that you cannot save someone from themselves. That's the hardest part.

Educate yourself about anxiety and panic and begin the road to recovery, and as you wander along you'll realise just how many of us are on the same path, just at different stages in the journey. You're really being given a gift; the chance to look deeply into yourself and your life and choose the best future for yourself.

You're never alone. Your struggles are my struggles. The air you breathe is the air I breathe. The sky you see is the sky I see. You're never alone sweetheart x

[louise0501]

hey, i'm feeling a little better today, i have had a few health anx worries which hav been bothering me, mum hasn't been drunk for a couple of days but i know she will again soon. i have my driving test tomo (second attempt) so im really nervous about that. i'm going to london on thursday and im just hoping i will be able to relax and enojoy it.
many thanks for all you support, i really do appreciate it since i don't have anyone else to talk to
Love Louise XXXX