Dont know what to do for the best...

[lesleya]

I'm seriously think im going to have to give up my job, eventhough i dont want too as some days im finding things a bit to much.
I'm pre-menopausal or as some people call it peri-menopause..not sure if theres a difference, but my doctors havent explained to me how i might feel or what i might expect during the menopause, so i guess im hoping the way im feeling is all down to my age.
Im at the end of my tether with my gp's, and it doesnt matter which one i see in the practice (male or female) because not one of them seems to want to help..apart from pushing prescriptions at me for anti-depressants, which i dont want to take.
My symptoms now include mood swings, anxiety, muscle pain, internal tremors...shakes inside. Im used to the shaky insides and wobbly legs as i have a similar thing being diabetic if my sugars are too low or too high, but this is happening when im feeling ok now too, so its a bit confusing, and just to help matters!.. my gps have discontinued my test strips for my blood sugars since last week. They say there is 2 reasons for this.
1. to try to aviod any further damage to the nerve endings in the fingers (through constantly pricking for blood samples daily)
2. they say people who take only 'metformin' for diabetes and no other medication 'dont suffer' low sugars....what a load of rubbish that is...and i told my doctor so too. But if they say no and wont write a prescription...then what do you do? So how am i supposed to tell if im low or high? Do i pump sugar into me regardless when i feel unwell and maybe make myself worse if im high? Surely its more sensible to continue the test strips to avoid complications? or am i thick?
I can feel so weak sometimes that i have no choice but to go lie down, or id fall down., and If im unfortunate for this to happen at work i end up having to come home as i feel to ill to go back and deal with people.
I suppose im finding it so hard to deal with too is because i was totally free of anxiety/panics for over 8 years and then it hit me again like a sledgehammer 18 months ago after i thought id never have this horrible thing again.
Plus to add to things now, ive been having problems at work with a certain person, who my managers have now literally cornered me into making an official complaint against...so that doesnt help either.
I dont know what to do for the best...give up my job or end up on the sick again?....and who knows maybe disciplinary myself for having time off sick..
When i feel ok, i feel like i could go to work and take on the world, but when im feeling like this i just want to be at home in my comfort zone.
Im not normally a person to give in without a fight or let anyone get one over on me so this is just so not like me, im not usually a quitter.
Sorry if this might sound confused, but my heads all over the place just now:wacko: , but I would really appreciate some advice...

[pedropanic]

Sounds to me that:

1. You need to get a fresh perspective from a doctor outside the practice you go to. Perhaps you have a friend or family member who has a GP they would recommend? Don't be afraid to search for a doctor who has both experience AND compassion, they're both very important! But if you find that other doctors come up with the same answers, talk to them calmly about your concerns and try and trust their opinions.

2. Respect your set-backs. I was panic-free for years and suddenly the past 6 months have been hell. It's not a failing on my part (or yours!), it's just a sign that I need to review how I am thinking and living. It's just trying to teach me to slow down, I had gotten into a very negative head-space at work and in my relationships! Remember: you can't have a set-back unless you've made real progress. Keep going!

3. You need think about your work options. Toxic co-workers + bad management = anxiety! There's no pride in fighting with idiots, and there is no shame in knowing when it's time to move on. Standing up for yourself could mean fighting with your current workplace; or standing up for yourself could mean having the conviction to move on and be happy. It's not about being a quitter, it's about choice, and you have the RIGHT to CHOOSE! Spend some time visualising your life if you left this job and found another one. How happy would you be? What would you have lost? What would you have gained? Choose the best future for you, you deserve it!

[lesleya]

Thank you so much for your reply i appreciate it so much.
That is very sound and sensible advice..and i think your right.
I rang my manager this morning and told him that t couldnt face coming in this morning and he was ok, but i said to him also that i seriously need to think about my job as all of this mess with this woman at work is wearing me down and im finding it really hard to cope with...i dont need it.
I have sat and pictured what it might be like to work somewhere else and it probably is what i need...a break and a new start. I like the rest of my work colleagues...but maybe its time to move on. I have been putting off changing my gp too, so maybe its time for an 'all change' ?:shrug:

[sandramick]

hi
sorry your having a rough time .
i suffer anx an am pre meniporsal too i had bad patch this time last year but i fought my way through it going to work was awful but i kept making myself an i am glad i did because it kept me going . last month i was made redundant and have not been able to find anything else . sitting at home day after day is really not doing me any good i can feel myself going backwards again . so my advice to you is if you can try to keep going to work i no it is not easy and it sounds like u got problems there but if you can stand it i would try to keep going ,
good luck
sandra xxxxxxx:hugs:

[Cathy V]

Hi lesleya, what great advice from pedropanic. I just wanted to add also that like you i had been anx free for many years, then in winter 98 it all changed with the pre-menopause. I was 45 at this point and didnt know what had hit me after years without anx symptoms, it was dreadful. But id read up on the peri-menopause and i insisted on a blood test to measure my FSH levels. If they are high it means the oestrogen is low (could be the other way around tho!) and if oestrogen is low it can cause all sorts of probs and mess with your blood sugar too.

But they can put you on HRT if its preferable to anti-depressents or benzos, or recomend natural alternatives. You do not have to suffer with this les, the peri-menopause can go on for a long time before menopause happens proper (when you have your very last period) and it can be a bad time due to hormone fluctuations, at least when its over the hormone levels are on a much more even keel so alot of the symptoms taper off eventually.

So I agree that you maybe need to change docs to find the help you need because it is out there. Take care.

Cathy xxx :)

[lesleya]

Thanks Sandra and Cathy.
Ive just got in from the doctors and saw one of the lady doctors...waste of time again. She gave me some antibiotics for my chest, but i asked her about menopause again and told her i need to have it explained to me..what to expect etc, nothing complicated...so she printed me off 6 sheets about menopause and sent me on my way again!:shrug: why do i bother?
Waste of time isnt it, i feel like im taking to myself..they just dont listen.
Cathy - They told me last time i asked for a blood test that it was a waste of time because they're very 'hitty missy' tests and i was best just riding it out.
Id like to see them putting up with sitting crying, shaking inside, feeling crappy and scared because you dont know whats happening to you.
Im going to put a complaint into the FPC (Family practioner Com) and also ask them to find me another gp who might be able to help because i cant go on feeling like this. I know its not for ever but i dont want to loose my job (i work for nhs:) ) i like my job and the people but carrying on this way i will loose it.
Sandy - i hope you find something soon as i know what its like sitting at home trying to find a job..its hard i know from experience..good luck hun.
Thanks to you both.:hugs:

[lesleya]

Sorry can i ask to... is there any other diabetics on nmp on metformin alone that have had there test strips stopped either?