Thinking Day

[george08]

Hi all

Let me tell you about the day i had yasterday!
I woke up at 6am with pains down the right side of me (i have cancer of the bones that has spread from some where else!) i then thought that not what has woke me up its the fact that i have terrible cramp! The pains were aches and pains from moving furniture on saturday night (felt a little better). I thought thats it its going to be a good day i have explained to myself why i was hurting but no it progressed from there! Next thing i know in the bath checking for lumps and bumps which i Yep I found a definate lump in my breast (it is that time of month and i know i have lumpy breasts and know i shouldnt check them!) i then went to work! and all day i was thinking i might get my hair done because i dont have cancer!(who thinks like that, im going crazy). any how by the time i finished work! i had convinced my self that i had breast cancer then it was skin cancer(the panic i felt was horrible i just wanted to run away). When i finally got home after visiting my mum! I started thinking how long have i been like this and the truth is always!

Is this my life? when can i begin to live. i am 30 next year and feel that i have wasted most of my life in fear!

[scaredsilly]

wow! we sound exactly the same! i'll be 30 next year, too, and feel like i'm wasting my life worrying about what might happen. and what makes it worse is i KNOW my fears are irrational, but i can't control the ridiculous thoughts. i can't stop myself from checking my body for lumps and bumps. and when i do find something i can't stop prodding myself til i'm sore. it is so maddening.

[indigo]

Hey me too!! I've been like this for as long as I can remember

and I'm 33 in January. I'm going through psycotherapy at the

moment and not sure if its helping but it does make me realise

there is loads of stuff I don't deal with, so I suppose it is

helping :) Anyway, if you fancy writing back feel free

Julie x