Feeling so low :(

[tashbarnes87]

HI guys god im so sorry for pestering you all the time, i dont really have anyone to talk to about my worries. A lady at works dad has just been diagnosed with liver cancer and he only has a few months, i have helped her as much as i can but i have noticed that my hiv fear has come back with vengance i have had an ulcer every week for the past 3 months doc said its probably pregnancy but i am so so convinced i have it :( i just feel like crying right now, i have been down this route so so many times and feel like i get better one week and im right back on to the crippling fear that i have it, im so sick of it :weep:

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi im paige, i know what you mean its like constant worry im the same im ok for a few days then all the fears come back im worse tonight coz my partner is at work. You havent got cancer honey its your fear that has latched on to that thought x

[Shaky]

Have you had an HIV test? This was my greatest fear and was the trigger for my anxiety, i had the test and was clear but my anxiety hasnt left me. I know exactly how you feel as i have went through the same thing

[tashbarnes87]

Heya yeah I am 8 months pregnant and had to have one done but for some reason I doubt the results and I hate feeling like this. I have spoke to the docs and he is refusing to do another. I know this sounds insane but I'm just so scared right now x

[Shaky]

The test you had will be conclusive thats why the doctor is refusing and the doc probably thinks if you have another what is to stop you wanting another after that. If you are really desperate for another you could go to an STD clinic who will get the results back to you in an hour in some clinics or in most cases in a couple of days and your doctor wont even know you went for the test, the good thing about an STD clinic is they will provide a therapist for you before and after the test. There is no need for another test but if it will truly ease your mind you have nothing to lose but i would guess while getting the test and waiting for the results your anxiety will get really bad

[tashbarnes87]

yeah I went to hell and back waiting for the results I didn't have health anxiety before. It was triggered by the test and I don't think I could go through that again I did book a test a 90 sec one but I cancelled it. My doc has been so good and explained that they don't make mistakes etc and I'm so sick of bothering him but I just want to get the anxiety treated but doc said not until I give birth. You are right I will probably doubt any results I get. I never ever doubted a result before but now its just another fear. I felt fine for months after getting the results 5 months ago but it's always in the back of my mind. Thanks shakey. Ps what did you mean by conclusive ? X

[Shaky]

I mean the test is 100 % accurate. Its either yes you have it or no you dont have it. Getting my HIV test was the trigger for my health anxiety too. I had my test about 3/4 months ago and i've finally managed to get it out of my mind but now i fear i have a million different illnesses. I put off having the test for 2 months then i was so scared i asked the doc for the test and i had to wait 2-3 weeks for the results and they were the worst weeks of my life. I would wake up covered in sweat shaking and hyperventilating, i could barely eat and it seemed everywhere i looked it was about HIV. which convinced me even more i had it.

[joyce1980]

Ok Tash one month to go!!!! you are doing so well to get through this anxiety that seems to be brought on by your pregnancy, just think once you have had your baby your body and brain will start to settle down and you will think in a normal way again.

you don't have aids and you will be ok. x x x

[tashbarnes87]

Hi Joyce thanks so much feel like a kno bber this morning for pestering everyone. Its def pregnancy and im not sleeping due to heartburn etc. Doc finally said though that if i dont improve he will help me after the baby xx

[anx mum]

Hiya i know how u feel when u say u feel so low. I always worry about my health everyday its so tiring. pm me anytime

[joyce1980]

Your not pestering, had I not gone on my medication I would also be posting to try and help myself x x x

Good news, I think when your hormones settle down and what not, you will start to feel better