Hi every one, been on four times now n thought i s

[Samantha]

Hi, my names Sam (a.k.a SLD by some ppl) found this website last week.

Im 15 live in East Anglia doing GCSE's at d mo, been suffering from Social Anxiety and fear of death for about 2 n half years now since my nan died. I think it developed coz i dont let my feelings out n just bottle them up coz i dont feel comfortable talkin bout them 2 ppl in person:(
I dont think i eva grieved for my nan really, as though i neva got to say goodbye i wasnt allowed to go 2 d funeral. I remember cryin wen i woz on me own once and feelin this sense of peace come ova me, n i felt as though God was listening. But im terrified of losing the rest of my family, pets n frinds.
Wen u try n explain 2 sum1 how u feel all they ask is 'have u had ne suicidal feelings?' they dont understand. I wouldn't care if i died as long as i knew my family were safe n together, id do nething 2 protect them, which is why i find it hard to xplain to them how i feel coz i dont wanna upset them [V]
Every time i go some where i am constantly watchin my back n the ppl im with, i just always think something is goin to happen, sum1s gopin 2 try n nick me bad or summin n i feel as though i have to be on my constant guard. Does ne1 else feel like dis.
Sam
X

[benoo5]

hi sam,

ime so pleased you have found this little haven,

you can post to your hearts content on here,and we will always listen,you obviously have a lot of pent up emotions,which need to be released,and writing it down like this becomes a great safety valve.

i love the little short cuts,that you use in your writing,you obviously send a lot of text messages,on your mobile,my daughters do the same. :)

i wish you well,and hope to read lots of posts of yours.

best wishes...bryan.

[nomorepanic]

Sam

I am glad you joined the message forum. It has been great chatting to you in the "Chat room" and you will get even more help here.

Take care

Nicola

[Samantha]

hi, thanks Bryan, Nicola
I feel i can talk in confidence on here, soz bout d writing hope you can read it, developed from MSN LOL (my English teacher wuld kill me)
Thanks for your replies they're very much appreciated.
Sam

[Samantha]

sometimes its hard to express how im feelin n it just seems as though the best thing wuld be 2 give in especially after a c**p day. I seem to be really irritable and argumentative at d mo, n my parents keep saying that they hardly no me nemore coz of the difference in the way that im acting. Sometimes i just cant be bothered to smile or be happy n wen im on my own i get chance to reflect on the day and it makes me feel really emotional. Probably normal, but wen im like this i just cant see the point in trying.
Sam