Hi all...introducing myself.

[psycho2000]

Hi everyone,

I never thought I would be introducing myself on a forum helping panic disorder sufferers...but well, here I am...that's life I guess.

My name is Sam. I'm a guy, and a 26 year old phd student. I'm from the west midlands and right now, i'm feeling very hot cause it's very warm inside my room lol.

Anyway, well you probably guessed, I'm a panic attack sufferer. It all started 6 months ago, sometime in December 2004. I don't exactly remember the date, but I remember everything what happened. I was in the shower corner, was having a warm shower, and suddenly I started feeling overwhelmed by the steam and small space. I started hyperventilating, heart started pounding. I thought i was having a heart atack (i used to smoke then, but stopped now, but that's another story for later). I ran outside naked lol!!! trying to catch my breath. I thought i was dying. But no, it was a panic attack, in it's purest form, as I researched later.

And that was the beginning of all [B)]. I was a normal smoker then. Been smoking for 6 years. But I have been trying to stop smoking since then and I have now stopped. It was very difficult cause imagine the withdrawal symptoms, combined with the panic attack syndromes and all...it has been a tough time for me. I have grown a lot of white hair since then lol. I'm glad I stopped smoking cause I think it is a contributing factor to panic attacks as I've read smokers are more likely to suffer from PA.

Now, I have been able to control my PA to a large extent. The thing is, the throat symdrome! I hate it!!...the constricted throat muscles. I've read it's normal. When my throat and chest are relaxed, i can very easily control my panic attacks, if i'm in the bus, train or in crowded places. I manage to calm myself down within a few moments and let the heart rate slow down by itself. But when i get the constricted throat syndrome, I find it's very difficult, and I end up in shambles lol!! Need to put cold water etc etc. It's a pain I tell you and sometimes, let's face it, very depressing.

My gf knows about my condition, unfortunately she's not here with me most of the times cause she works in another city. I haven't told my parents yet. I hesitate for fear of making them worried. Do u think I should tell them? I know they will understand, but they might get too much worried and i don't want that. I plan to go to the gp on monday and have some sort of check up though I know only I can fight this, and I don't want to take medicine. As i said, if its just the heart palpitations, that's alright. It's the constricted throat and lungs (or feeling of) which irritates me.

I think i've said enough about myself and my condition so far. But please do not hesitate to ask me anything, anything at all. It's a big step towards recovery. I want to win it...I want to be free again...sometimes I feel very down...i miss the 'old' days. But it's something I have to learn to live with.

Best wishes to all

Sam.

One day, one day I will beat u and that day, I will be free again, as I was before...

[Quirky]

Welcome to the boards Sam. I think most of us here know how you feel.
I'm new here too and have to say it's a great place, the people are very friendly and you'll get all the help you need.
Take care,
LJ

[seh1980]

Welcome aboard Sam!! :)

Your story sounds very typical of a first panic attack. Everyone here is very friendly and I'm sure we can offer you some good advice and support :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[Meg]

Hi Sam,

Here are a few who have felt a similar issue

Tight throat : MORE HORRID SYMPTOMS!!!! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1957)
Hi All (Swallowing / Choking Fear...) (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3239)
What has suddenly changed, feel awful! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3518)
Really frightend of Swallowing, (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3576)
A strange one, anyone else experienced similar?? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3741)
throat !!! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3857)

Really well done for stopping smoking !

You are doing very well with these and are well on your way to getting over it. I guess much depends on your relationship with your parents- whether you share most stuff with them or not.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Karen]

Hi Sam

Welcome to the forum.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[chucklehound]

Welcome to the forum and I hope you start feeling better soon...


Good Luck


All the best

Feel free pm me if you want to chat

steno -x-

[henri]

Hey Sam,
Welcome! Sounds like you have been very proactive in recognising your condition and dealing with it, which is great.
The throat thing is very annoying - it feels like you can't breathe or there's something wrong with you, but actually it's just tensed muscles. There are lots of relaxation techniques you can try, which really help me when i'm feeling like that, including abdominal breathing exercises and relaxation cds which take you through a series of muscle relaxation exercises.
I also found that altering my diet and removing "stressy" items like caffeine, alcohol and really sugary foods helped to keep me calm.
Take care,
Henri x

[florence]

Hi Sam

Welcome to the site, I hope you'll find great support here :).
Well done for stopping smoking.

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I haven't told my parents yet. I hesitate for fear of making them worried. Do u think I should tell them? </td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

They might give you support though , which is a good thing! ;)

Take care.
Florence.

**Don't believe everything you think .**

[alexis]

Hi Sam, welcome, I think you will find it very useful here and meet lots of nice people. the throat is common and if you go around the forum you will read lots of info and postings on it.
As for not telling your parents, I didnt tell my mum until recently ( Ive suffered over a year)and even now Ive only told her the outlines but it is like she is so relieved because she could sense I was going through something,
I didnt tell my husband and two grown up children but they all know, they didnt like to ask great details, my daughter gave me the number of a local depression support group one day.
I have councelling and I told the councillor I didnt want my family to know as they would all worry about me and she more or less told me they should have that option as to weather they want to worry or not.
I do feel loads better for telling them as much as I want them to know and I think it explains my behaviour as we are a very close family and they could sense the vibes.
Perhaps after youve seen the gp you may feel you are nearer to the answer. I was ashamed but this site has taught me it is nothing to be ashamed of.
Hope you find some answers, why not pop into chat one night, people are in after 7.30 on an evening and are extrmely helpful.
Take care love Alexis,x

[psycho2000]

Hi LJ,
Thanks for your support. I'm sure people are very friendly over here :)

Hi seh1980,
Ah yes, welcome aboard indeed, thanks! Thanks for your help. Like ur sig btw

Hi Meg,
I read u're one of the people here who's 100% recovered. Well done to you! Thanks for your support and the info. I tend to share most stuff at first with my mum cause she's who I'm closest with.

Hi Karen,
Thanks for your welcome :)

Hi Steno,
Thanks, I shall PM you if I feel not too good. And others feel free to PM or add me in MSN if u use it and I'll be always available for a chat ;)

Hi henri,
Thanks for your help. yes u're right, I have tried to research a lot about my condition for reassurance mainly. As you can see I like to research anyway :) I agree with the diet. I used to smoke 10-15 fags a day and drink 2 cups of coffee. I have stopped both of those. I drink hot chocolate now, once a day.

Hi florence,
Thanks for your welcome and support. Yes each day I'm debating with myself whether to let them know or not. If I can manage on my own, I won't tell them. But if I can't, if I see it becomes worse and worse, then I will have to let them know, just for their moral support which I can always count on.

Hi alexis,
How's it going. Yes i plan to go see the GP tomorrow. And u're right, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I have told my gf immediately and my friends also know of my condition.

Thanks to all of u guys for ur welcome and kind words. I appreciate very much. Eveyrday when I wake up, specially in this heat, I make a little prayer to not let me have any severe panic attacks today, and most of all, the 'constricted throat and chest' syndrom lol. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Sam.

One day, one day I will beat u and that day, I will be free again, as I was before...

[Meg]

Sam,

If you're close to Mum , she'll pick up that somethings is not right anyway. Its hard to really hide this one effectively when its affecting you each day

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[psycho2000]

The problem is my parents live abroad so I don't want to tell them anything, unless absolutely necessary. because if i do, they will get worried, more so because they're far away and cannot come here to be with me etc. Might stress them out more than I'm stressed out lol.

Wow...today is very hot as well isn't it. But I seem to be used to the heat today. I'm finding it easier to cope, unlike yesterday, when I felt very bad and had the tight throat and was drinking water like I've never drank before lol.

I find it's much harder in the summer because the heat makes everything seem smaller, spaces feel smaller and u just wanna escape to somewhere cool and refreshing. Anyone here using aircons btw?

Sam.

One day, one day I will beat u and that day, I will be free again, as I was before...

[henri]

hey sam,
know what you mean about the heat - it's a nightmare today!
if you are close to your mum then i think you should tell her what is going on with you. my parents both live abroad - haven't spoken to my dad in years but am close to my mum - to be honest, i was so scared when i started having PAs, because i didn't know what was happening to me, that when my mum called me i just told her. i think she was freaked out by what was happening but at least it meant i didn't have to pretend everything was fine when i spoke to her.
i know it's a bit lame for a 28-year-old girl to be asking her mummy for help, but i didn't know what else to do!
henri x

[kairen]

Hi Sam,

welcome to the forum,
As u can see its a great site full of great people who all just want to help each other,
As for your parents, i think telling them would take a bit of pressure off you, yes they will worry for you because they care but they will want to try and help you, i was very young when i first started with panics and told no one for a long time and in the end it was a relief to tell them but i was at the point where i had to tell them,

hope things work out for u take care

kairen x

[psycho2000]

Hi kairen,

Thanks for your suggestion. Yes as I said, i'm constantly debating with myself whether to tell them or not. I think one day I will have to, but not just now. I think I will give it some more time, see if I can cope with my PA's and then if yes, I won't ever tell them. If not, then yes I will have to, for their moral support.

Sam.

One day, one day I will beat u and that day, I will be free again, as I was before...

[nomorepanic]

Hi Sam

I have just got back from a week away so just wanted to say Welcome aboard the forum!

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[psycho2000]

Hi Nicola,



Thanks very much. I was away myself for a week to my gf's place. And I was feeling much better then. The thing i've noticed is my anxiety comes from me being over obsessed with my health I believe. As I;m pretty u I said in my previous posts (too lazy to read back :) ), I had a relatively long bout of illness last year and that made me become from totally confident in my health to not very much at all. So every pain I get in my chest, every pain in my head, I start to think of the worse.

As I said also, I was a smoker and of course, my lungs were not what they used to be before I started smoking, even though I'm quite confident that they will repair themselves fairly quickly with time cause I have only been smoking for 6 years or less, and every year for like 2-3 months I stop smoking because of special circumstances (when I go to my parents house, I don't like them to know I smoke, so I don't.
Sam.

Anyway to go back to what I was saying, when i was at my gf's place, I have to walk this quite long stretch of road uphill and I often feel breathless when I do and that makes me think I'm gonna run out of enough air and suffocate. and that would trigger a panic attack there and then, on the street. But I have learned to pace myself cause I tend to walk fast lol...and control myself so avoid any breathlessness and eventual panic attacks.

So my PA's are very closely related to my obsession with my health I know, and I'm sure, have been largely caused by being too obsessed and worried with my general health.

Sam.

One day, one day I will beat u and that day, I will be free again, as I was before...