Not a great night :(

[Peter1988]

FFS!!! Ive already typed this all up but my computer messed up!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here we go, AGAIN!

I woke up today feeling really bad. I think I found out one of the core reasons as to why Im depressed. Im scared, Im lonely, Im out of my depth. Life is getting harder and harder and I dont have anyone I feel I can go to when things get too hard. I mean I do have people but the 'act' is harder than the 'saying'. I cant remember what else I wrote! Damn it! You know a child has their parents as a 'saftey net' well Im a 19 year old child in need of one! I do have parents and they are really nice but it's difficult to open up to them.

Anyway, im sure I had more but whatever! that's life for you! If you could please brighten up my day or even better help me through this problem Id be most grateful,

Peter



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[BexieB]

Hi Peter

Depression is truly a dire disorder and what you say about being scared really rings true. I think depression and anxiety stem from a feeling of being trapped, with your back against the wall. I understand that it can be difficult to speak to those close to you about the problem. I could never speak to mine, because my mother had the same problem. But I did seek professional help and friends and other relations are good.

I try to think back to the time when I felt well and believe I can feel like that again.

[Diane O'Brien]

Hi Peter

I to suffer from depression and I know it hits u hard in the morning hun. I am 37 years old and still need my mum. I know what u mean about opening up to people, sometimes its hard to open up to them u love more.

Be kind to yourself. Go and speak to your doctor you may need a helping hand, Im on antidepressants. Try and speak to your parents, you need support on this.

I,m sending you Hugs:bighug1: Your not alone with this Peter.

Take Care

[Peter1988]

Thanks robot for your post. Your understanding helps. As im sure you know professional help is expensive, about £130 for 50min. Now I can afford that price but spending that much does feel like a waste of money.

I feel like my therapist doesnt really know me, or help as much as I feel she should do, given Ive had like many many sessions with her. Why she didnt realise what I realised this morning is beyond me.

Im just so tired, Ive been through so much already I just want a break, you know, to be that 10 year child again who doesnt have any reponsibilities or woes, and doesnt feel guilty if he spend a whole day playing video games or watching tv.

I guess I just need a tiny break and then I'll get back to my difficulties. I can get into that believe of success and self-motivation and focus, but from experiences in the past I tend to just get shot down. It just doesnt seem worth it.

But nor does being unfocused, it's a lose lose situation, hence the depression. Id love to chat to someone on msn who is willing to talk to me. You can just PM your addy and Id again be most thankful. I think I just need someone to talk to. To clear things in my head. Share my woes, etc, etc.

If you want to of course. But dont worry, I'll try not sound depressing. Really, Im actually quite a positive and happy person. I just got lost a long time ago and am still trying the find the road again.

[spaced]

hi peter sorry your not feeling too good at the moment.
sending you a hug:hugs: and remember there are always people here who know how you feel.

[Peter1988]

thanks Diane O'Brien

[Peter1988]

guys and girls, do you think its really bad that I cancelled a driving lesson about 10-15 minutes before it was supposed to happen because I really wasnt feeling up for it? My friend called and some how squeezed that imformation from me saying that was very unprofessional, in a condesending way. Now I feel guilty :( I just didnt want to drive. I hate it when that happens :(

[Peter1988]

I think I might do that, in uni they offer free therapy sessions, been there once and I felt like I was going over everything I went through with my private therapist. Think I'll book a session and see what happens, think thats probably best than seeing the gp. Actually I'll go see both, they are free :) lol Thanks tetley