I'm losing it...

[HollyisCrazy.com]

Hello all. I've suffered from Panic attacks/Anxiety and depression for years now, and I've only just started to realise that this is something that started during childhood. I've recently started seeing a counsellor who is beginning to help me realise my thinking patterns and develop ways of changing my coping methods. I'm on Setraline 100mg which is okay - i've been on it for about 5 weeks now... My GP signed me off work, however I felt ready to tackle work again yesterday but it went really badly. All my fears ended up happening - not being able to understand whats going on, that I couldn't remember, freaking out due to workload - and i'm now extremely depressed and off work again today. I couldn't sleep last night due to extreme Anxiety - I didn't even want to get out of bed today. I thought I was making progress but yesterday has knocked me big time. I'm getting desperate. I need to start earning money again otherwise I could potentially lose my home, and I hate the pressure this is putting on my boyfriend. He's been so supportive and knew about my condition long before we even started dating - but now we live together, its such a strain for him even though he'll never admit it.

Any words of advice and coping techniques are welcome!! I feel like i'm in self destruct mode but I just can't stop the way I feel.

[Missy69]

Hiya Holly,
Im really sorry your having such a tough time, i cant really offer much advice as i dont take meds and i also dont work. I know its difficult to have a partner thats getting frustrated with my illness.

Dont really know what to suggest about work, as you say you must go because of financial reasons. Could you take some time off sick ? just whil;st you get things sorted.

Maybe have a chat to your partner and explauin how much pressure you feel your under, and just ask for some reassurance from him, that he could hold on in there whilst you sort things out.

Making progress ? we all have set backs hun, they are aparently part of recovery, i think the idea is to not let the set backs take you back to square one, but to just let it go and move on, easier said than done i know !

Anyway, hope things feel better for you soon, take care

[gtrgrl3369]

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I had severe panic and anxiety and had a job that I had to take 6 weeks off from. I felt like I was under too much pressure from everything and even the thought of going to work set off an anxiety attack. After 6 weeks I had to go back, I needed money too. My first day back was horrific also, I had a severe panic attack and felt like I let myself down. I didnt want to go back but knew I had to. I kept going everyday and used some of the relaxtion things I had learned. It was rough for the first week, but I made it. Every week it has gotten easier. I stuck with it and it has been 5 months and I am doing so much better. I guess what I am trying to say is that the more you stick with it the less scary it gets not being in your safe zone. Take care and PM me if I can help.