A year on and still have days like this!!

[jellybean43]

Hi
It is a year today(just looking in my diary!) since I first went to my GP worrying about a swelling above my right clavicle.
I had all the tests going(bloods, chest x ray) and saw 3 doctors and was finally referred for CBT which i am still having now.I had convinced myself that i had lymphoma!!!I can still feel something above my clavicle but it tends to be there when i move and i think a year on it would be worse and i would be feeling quite ill by now!!!
I have definately been a lot better------but I still do have the odd days where i start to panic and worry that they missed something:mad:
I have started getting all stressed again about night sweats---I was going to google today and had to FORCE myself to come on here instead. I do tend to have the house quite warm so that when i go to bed the bedroom is very warm. I have a thin duvet and a thick one and in winter i put the thin one on and just half the bed with the thick one(over my feet). OH works nights so i dont like being cold!!I then wake up a few hours later with my hair line sweating and my chest slightly sweaty in between my boobs!!!! No where else!!This is most nights.
OH says i need to turn the heating off a good while before bed and just have the thin duvet on and i will be fine!!!He says i have always suffered this ever since he has known me(15 years ha!!!).
I just hate this HA!!!Thought it had nearly gone and now i am starting to worry again. Any thoughts please???
Thanks everyone xx

[jellybean43]

Anyone?? xx

[jwoulf]

I've been this way since I was a child. And now I am 25 and it's worse than ever. I understand what you're going through.

[tashbarnes87]

Hi jellybean, sorry you are having a bad time with your HA i think its the time of year at the mo. I know what you mean about nightsweats, i have been having them every night for about 3 months i mean the type of sweats where the duvet is soaked and i am shivering i then checked my glands ( why o why) and i have a raised lump under my arm. Sheer panic and for the next week convince myself i am dying of lymphoma. Turns out my gland isnt raised at all but its just the way my arm looks, and the night sweats are becuase i am pregnant and too hot in bed. I really worked myself up to the point of nearly being sick. silly really :) i know what your going through. Please dont google as it will set you back its the worst thing ever. I put tongue in to google the other day and literally the first page said cancer about 10 times, its so stupid but we all do it lol

Take carexx

[JMR]

Hi Jellybean..

I'm new to the site, but was reading about your fear of lymphoma the other night, after I had spent hours googling and feeling increasingly fearful of the same disease - (see my thread on 14.12.08 titled Health Anxiety? Blood Count). Your story struck such a chord with me and inspired me to join and share my similiar concerns. I have been reassured to a huge degree by the replies from Nickieb earlier, but I cannot totally 'switch off' from my panic. It is the 1st thing on my mind in the morning and I don't feel I can concentrate or enjoy any nice event..etc. I am reassured that the Dr doesn't seem overly concerned, but why did the word haematologist have to come up in conversation! I know I'll struggle to accept the reassurance and not return for further tests unless I suddenly descend into a panic which galvanises me and I have to go immediately while my 'courage' is high, but even if I manage to avoid going to the Drs, as I usually do...I will still fear the next time I have to have a blood test in case my lymphocyte count has not improved or even worse has deterioterated..
I don't know what I expect anyone to say, but it's just so reassuring to read that other's understand the intensity of the fear.
Hope that you are feeling less anxious, though I suspect like me that any relief from worry about symptoms is transient..
I have worried about lymphoma consciously and sub-consciously for a very long time, also had a 'scare' with breast lump four years ago which I freaked out over! Google has me swaying alternately between reassurance and blind panic...not good. Particularly worried about the Epstein-Barr link as I had Glandular Fever badly in 1986 and a recurrence in 1995, and have read of increased risk to lymphoma, also my Dad died of NHL in 1986.
Sorry to go on and to contact you specifically, but as I say it was your story which I read and felt very empathic towards, as I can identify many of your thoughts, behaviour and feelings in myself with regards to this fear...
Warm regards
J. :)