Tinks_loves_pan
28-11-08, 11:25
everythings so black i think im loosing my mind again help
for years i have struggled with bi-poloar disorder the constant living in fear or anger of myself let alone the outside world which is the forbidden land i look at threw a window, the confusion and shame and of not knowing who you are or why you do or did something almost every day are hard too deal with and then the guilt you feel for the things you have done or said and the pain you have caused to those you love, the feeling of theyd be better off without me occupies my mind almost constantly yet the fear of going out getting away from it all terrifies me into panic and rage the unanswerded questions i have that no one can answer rattle around not like thourts but as in a voices i hear all day they just wont shut up, i cant scream as no one hears me no one knows how i feel, and now too make it worse after countless tests and prodding and pocking around im told that i also have chronic ibs and that if they get me well in my head the ibs may settle im so tired all the time i cant function everything hurts im so alone and now im rambling cos i cant think straight i dont wanna go on like this:weep: :weep: :weep:
for years i have struggled with bi-poloar disorder the constant living in fear or anger of myself let alone the outside world which is the forbidden land i look at threw a window, the confusion and shame and of not knowing who you are or why you do or did something almost every day are hard too deal with and then the guilt you feel for the things you have done or said and the pain you have caused to those you love, the feeling of theyd be better off without me occupies my mind almost constantly yet the fear of going out getting away from it all terrifies me into panic and rage the unanswerded questions i have that no one can answer rattle around not like thourts but as in a voices i hear all day they just wont shut up, i cant scream as no one hears me no one knows how i feel, and now too make it worse after countless tests and prodding and pocking around im told that i also have chronic ibs and that if they get me well in my head the ibs may settle im so tired all the time i cant function everything hurts im so alone and now im rambling cos i cant think straight i dont wanna go on like this:weep: :weep: :weep: