In such a state

[tashbarnes87]

Hi Guys, god i am literally crying my eyes out as i write this, infact i have been crying non stop for about half an hour. I posted a few days back about recurrent ulcers ( 1 a week for 3months) it been put down by the doc as another pregnancy thing. However foolishly i googled it this morning knowing that it would scare me but i still did it, now i am here in this big crying mess because recurrent ulcers can be the only symptom of hiv my biggest fear. Now i just cant believe my test results and i have gone back so many steps. I keep thinking that the results on my medical record arnt for me. And to top it off my partner has just walked out as he is sick of this and i guess me

Please help guys in a right mess
x

[Shaky]

Tash trust me again the test is 100 % accurate, you do not have it. HIV doesn't have any specific symptoms anyway. I know its hard to accept, but health anxiety does that to us. I'm sure your partner is just a little stressed too.

[jellybean43]

Hi Hun
Listen it is defo HA playing tricks!!You took the time to answer my post yesterday and if you read back over my previous threads you will see that i didnt believe the doctors either. I had blood tests and a chest X ray 11 months ago and it is just recently that i am starting to feel a bit better---I had convinced myself(and some days still do) that i have lymphoma.Anxiety has played a big part in my life since i was 21(44 now) so i am having to learn to try and think differently---not easy after all these years!!
Have you told your GP how bad you are feeling?? Are you having CBT??
This has helped me to a degree however you have to push yourself to accept you are ok----not easy as a fellow HA SUFFERER!!!!!
If you wanna PM please do---I will be back online over tea time!!! Try to chill out-----you are fine xxxx

[jellybean43]

Forgot to add that i drove my husband mad with it all!!He was having to check and feel for lumps every day. I had lumps come up in every part imaginable(they were obviously there before but i just hadnt bothered feeling my body 24/7!!!). Unless your boyfriend is a fellow HA sufferer(which my hubby isnt!!!) it is very hard for them to understand!!! xx

[jojo2316]

You do NOT have HIV. Recurrent ulcers happen in people infected with HIV because HIV lowers immune resistence. And what else lowers immune resistence? Pregnancy!!! This is just the HA messing with your head again. xxx

[LeeBee]

Tash, sorry you're having a lousy time.

OK. I think that "battling" HA and trying to force the thoughts away makes things worse - the harder you try not to think about it, the more you think about it and the more upset and wound up you become. Sometimes it can help to turn around and confront your HA, to challenge the thoughts that are making you feel so bad.

Imagine going to your doctor and saying that because you have mouth ulcers, therefore you know your HIV test results must be wrong and you must have HIV. Now imagine what he or she would say in response. And maybe don't even just visualise this, but try it. The doctor might offer you another HIV test to reassure you. If you explain that you are worried that they mixed up your test results last time, perhaps they can reassure you that they will check every step of the way that it is your blood and not someone else's. The next one will be negative too.

The other posters are right - HIV doesn't really have any specific symptoms. A low immune system can be the result of many things. HIV is one. Pregancy is another. You are pregnant - that's a definite. Stress can lower your immune system too. You're pregnant and stressed - that's why you have mouth ulcers.

I had masses of mouth ulcers while recovering from a long viral illness recently, for weeks. At one stage the little blighters were clustered all over the back of my throat which really hurt. Once my immune system recovered they started to go away, and now I'm ulcer-free. Yours will go away too, probably some time after you have your baby. Your partner will be back, this is probably a stressful time for him, too. Talk to your doctor.

[tashbarnes87]

hi guys I just wanted to say thank you for all your responses I thought I was in early labour yest which was scary but I'm ok now. Yesterday was a really bad day for me the lowest I have been so far. A few weeks back I spoke to my doc about the test results and them being wrong he said it's not possible and they do not make mistakes he also said he won't be giving me another test as there's no point and it will feed the anxiety. He is such a good doctor and I do trust him it's just always ' what if I'm right' I think the problem is the Internet and my googling we all knownot to do it but I can't stop. I am going to ask the doc to give me a ring tommorow and explain to him how bad I have been and see what he says :( x