OK I am determined to find something wrong with me, this weekends fear is a sore back

[breeze25]

Firstly I love the fact that I can post my fears on hear and people understand where I am coming from, and not look at me and think I am a complete loon, which quite frankly is how I am feeling.

For the last 8 months or so, I pretty much have had control over HA managing to dismiss lots of nasty thought that pop into my head. But at the moment I seem to be a spiral of thinking something is wrong.

What I have at the moment is a sore feeling in my back, this is very hard to explain so I will try my best. I have had this feeling for about 6 weeks now, its an area about the size of 5p piece on my back halfway between my back and my size just under where the bra line would be. Now and again (several times a day) i would move and I wold have a sore feeling coming from it, I know I have not injured it or anything and a first didn't think anything of it.

now because I am obsessed with it I am touching it and proding it, so of course the pain is worse (well when I say pain I mean soreness) and its consuming my every though at the moment. There is no spot or mole or anything as I have got my hubby to look about a million times, the thought that is going hrough my head is a tumour as when I lay down it can sometimes feel as though somethng is there, although when I touch it I can feel nothing and I know how with HA you can pretty much convince yourself of something and then 'feel the symptoms'.

Here I am sat here for a Sunday morning while my 2 beautiful kids are watching telly, and deserve to be taken out or something, but I just want to mope, I feel silly and selish today.

The thought of going to the doctor with a sore feeling in my back is making me feel uncomfortable as i know they wont laugh me out the door but I feel I would be taking up an appointment for nothing!.

Deleted this twice as feel so silly even to post but here goes.

[Jan63]

Aww I'm sure you have nothing to worry about but I fully understand where you are coming from. I have these fears all the time lately - every little ache or pain I'm terrified it's something serious when months ago I wouldn't have given it a second thought.:shrug: I think having kids makes us more scared because we want to be there for them and are scared to miss any symptoms. I would go to your doctor for peace of mind but I'm sure it won't be anything serious - probably just a pulled muscle or something.:hugs: :hugs:

[breeze25]

Many thanks for replying, I never used to have any HA until I had my son they it kicked in and took over.

I know myself its probably nothing serious but even if it was a 1 in a million chance of it being serious I would think I would be that 1, and this is from someone who doesn't play the lottery because the odds are poor lol.

I wish I could stop thinking about it, I have worked out now that if I hold the spot where it hurts and rotate my arm/shoulder I can feel it sort of like in a joint, so will definately book an appointment just so I can put my mind at rest, although I am resisting the urge to google, always on the pretext that I will find something to put my mind at rest but it never does so I panic away, I definately will not google.

[Jan63]

Yes I think it sounds like you've pulled a muscle or something but the doctor will put you mind at ease.:hugs:

[june]

:flowers: Hi Mev,
Health anxiety is as cruel as panic attacks - simply because there is NOTHING that you / I can do to relieve the fear UNTIL a Dr has looked and told us "Yes you are OK:yesyes: " ( i am afraid I always add "for now" that's how pessimistic I am :weep:.
I once told the physio that I had such a pain in the back of my head, that it felt as if I had been hit with a plank of wood:ohmy:
He asked in all serious "have you ever been hit with a plank of wood?" NO
if you had do you think it would be sore to touch? etcetc I could then see how I had catastrophised a tension headache.
That said ----- It still feels like i was hit with a plank of wood:ohmy: :blush: :mad:
Do go to the Doctor - it will ease your mind - a mind which can play the most awful tricks on us:weep:
I also know the feeling of deleting "because it sounds silly"
But now you know you are not alone with what "we" call our silly feelings.
I think this is what makes the problem worse because we DO know its silly but we cannot convince our selves of that!!!!!!!!!:ohmy: :mad: :mad:
Best wishes
June
:hugs:

[breeze25]

Thanks June.

I do as whole seem much better than I was, but now and again my brain seems to run away with me.

I take advice and think yes perhaps its a pulled muscle then I think, well no I have pulled muscles and it doesn't feel like this. I think do pulled mescles last 6 weeks, how could I have pulled it there, its funny I have another friend like this and when she has something I retaionalise it for her, but yet sometimes I can not for myself, it did make me feel better to keep a diary so when i bad I look back to how I have been here before and look nothing serious happened.

Will mention when I go back to the doctors about a CBT think perhaps time to give that a go.

[june]

Thanks June.

I do as whole seem much better than I was, but now and again my brain seems to run away with me.

I take advice and think yes perhaps its a pulled muscle then I think, well no I have pulled muscles and it doesn't feel like this. I think do pulled mescles last 6 weeks, how could I have pulled it there, its funny I have another friend like this and when she has something I retaionalise it for her, but yet sometimes I can not for myself, it did make me feel better to keep a diary so when i bad I look back to how I have been here before and look nothing serious happened.

Will mention when I go back to the doctors about a CBT think perhaps time to give that a go.
:flowers: I do so agree with this :yesyes: I can rationalise for anyone else - no problem there. BUT do I listen to myself?? NO CHANCE:ohmy:
I also keep a diary - and i can be looking back 2-3 years ago and read an entry...... i then have to check the date - surely i wrote this yesterday???
NO THE SAME PROBLEM 4 years apart. how disgraceful is that???? I have not really improved at all:weep: :weep:
I have been offered CBT or group therapy. They said which did i prefer? I answered "whichever comes soonest" so the wait goes on.
Best wishes
June
:hugs: :hugs: