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becez
07-12-03, 11:19
Hi,
I am a new user to this forum.I am an M.B.B.S doctor like to achieve many things in life but being captured by Panic,Generalized anxiety since birth just living life life a dead person.I cannot tell you how much I suffered on the hand of anxiety and panic.
1)During my schooling I was a book-worm but very far behing or even none at extra-curricular activities.It was not the case that I did not want to play but I just could not felt the courage of playing or doing any thing besides just a book-warm.
2)My parents buy a bicycle for me but i was so afraid of criticism or what else that I never ride on it.
3)During my medical college life I did not dare to give any presentation in front of my seniors.Whenever I just think about trying to give a presentation I felt so much terrified that I just gave up.

Now,I like to do postgraduation but I am sure that you will call me mad that after having such a personality I like to do Postgraduation.

But b]DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTION FOR ME

PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE give me some advice.

Thanks.

Ak

benoo5
07-12-03, 16:46
hi ak,

ime so sorry,to hear about your suffering,but you are amongst friends,here on this site.

first things first..go to the home page,and read all the great information,thats available..then read these posts,you will find a lot of people have suffered from an early age,just like you.

then write down any questions,that you may want answers to,and post them on the forum.

please let us know wot services are available in bangladesh,to help you with your problems,such as medications,behaviour therapy etc.

in the meantime..best wishes..bryan.

diana
07-12-03, 16:59
Hiya AK,

Welcome aboard, you are amongst family here. Alot of people here have suffered since birth like yourself, and for those of us who have`nt, it does seem that way. As it can seem a lifetime, just in the middle of having an attack. I am sorry for your suffering through your entire life, but if you look at the positives, you are quite an accomplished individual, inspite of the anxiety/panic. You have done so well for yourself. There is nothing wrong with being a book worm, sometimes the reading can take our minds off of the anxiety/panic. Like Bryan suggested, go to the home page and read all of the information available, you will find tons of it here. All of it is very good, and you may even find some techniques that work for you. Try them all, as you will find something that works!!!! Keep coming back to post, to let us know how you are getting along, if you have any particular questions, post them and someone will answer them promptly. Do take care, and think positive thoughts.

Take care dear,

Diana xxx

irenehester
07-12-03, 17:24
Hi becez. I suffered from debilitating panic (often 24 hours a day) for more than 12 years. during that time I did a deegree and got a first. It seems that the things I considered to be a problem in my personality were those that also helped me achieve. It was not easy, but education at that level were the start of my beginning to change my life for the better. Go for the post-grad. - if I could afford it I would do it. Stay in touch on the site!

becez
07-12-03, 20:11
Dear bryan,Diana and irenehester thankyou very much for your kind replies.I am really grateful that you all understand my problem.

Yes,I have seen some great informaion on this site before coming to message board and these informations are definitely helpful.

Some points on which I like to get some advice from you are:
1)An irony for me by suffering through this condition is that,when a patient comes to a doctor with a pathological disease we prescribe him the medicine and the patient attitude and other things have nothing to do as such with his cure.But what happens in Patient suffering from Panic state and anxiety is that more than anything else is his attitude or mental thinking which is talked about.
Now here the contradiction for me lies in the point that if a person had so much control over his thinking than don't you think that he
may not even suffered from such problem.
2)It is also recognised that these mental problems has genetic component,so how could we come out of these problems when they have there roots in our genes.
3)What do you think,the best possible line of action for me to overcome these problems.
4)What could I do to improve my performance,particularly with reference to my profession,how
can I become able to give presentations in wards and become able to deal with emergencies with
courage,is there any remedy for it.
There is some help available around my area,which is mainly based on medications and cognitive-behavioral therapy and I have myself have gone through these therapies for almost two year but didn't succeed.

Finally,I came to this forum seeing it as a last hope for me.

Loking forward for your help and suppot.

Bye.
AK.

Ak

uryjm
07-12-03, 20:17
AK
I think the best statement I've come across in my search for answers is: "The best way is always through", by Helen Keller, I think. It might not seem so when you project your thoughts forward, as in "I'll never be able to do a presentation in front of my seniors", but once you force yourself through it you'll find it less daunting. Keep doing it, challenge it, seek it out and you will defeat it if you're really determined. I have often fought with panic this way, refused to let it get me down. I honestly wish I didn't have to face this struggle, but that's the way it is and the way I am. I've found that acceptance and facing my fears, while not solving the problem, let me live with myself a lot easier.

Jim

Meg
07-12-03, 21:10
Hi Becez,

Let's have a go with these points.

1) Most medicines you prescribe for chronic illnesses do not cure but treat the symptoms ie Hypertension, Diabetes , CHD, NSAI's for OA etc . Antibiotics cure but only due to the bodys immune system not being strong enough or it being a super bug...

I would ask you to reconsider about the patients attitude, if a insulin dependant diabetic has not got a good attitude and is non compliant either with meds or diet or the comorbidity factors it has a huge impact on their primary endpoints , this is true of most diseases if you think about it.

Only with some basic surgery does the pats attitude really not matter. Although reseach is showing that even here anaethatists and physios are less comfortable if the patients are unhappy about the surgery.

So anxiety and panic is similar but more vital.

A majority proportion of anxious people are very thorough thinkers and intelligent.
It is this huge lateral risk management thinking that brings us to this in the first place as we get carried away with the ' What if's ' 'it might' that other people would not even consider and if it did they would dismiss instantly.

2) Having a gene is not a blue print for getting the disease - carriers !! The research jury is currently out of how much is actually in the genes and how much is learned behaviour. In the genes you may have a worry DNA but as each and every one of us can get over this anxiety with new learned behaviour, then the sooner you teach you kids to cope with worry the better.

3) There are several things that you can do to help yourself with these although they are not ‘cures’ in the traditional way as taking an antibiotic and the infection goes away completely.

Medication can help to give you a break from the worst part of panic but unless something else changes within you - when you come off the medication the issues remain and often the panic reoccurs.

Other avenues that do help include:

Breathing - Learn to breathe from your diaphragm, your tummy should rise and fall with your breath as well as your chest. Ensure your out breath is longer than the in one. A count of 4 in – 6 out is great. Use this as soon as you feel panic rising. Alternatively, hold your breath for a few seconds

Distraction- As soon as you feel the anxiety soaring and you get afraid – do something different. Change your environment, talk to someone, do something, distract yourself. It’s often enough to dissipate the panic .

Comfort yourself – be totally positive with yourself but do allow yourself to go with it. Keep giving yourself positive messages that this will pass naturally and cannot harm you- breath and distract.

Regular exercise – uses the adrenaline/ noradrenaline and the cortisol that are secreted when panic sets in and enhances endorphine production

Tai’ chi or Yoga – promotes complete relaxation as well as stretching. This has a cumulative effect so try it regularly. The meditation part also helps learn to still the mind and cumulatively is a very effective exercise to learn to use during panic.

Relaxation tapes are extremely useful . Find one you like and stick to it. Play it every day whether you are stressed or not and soon whenever you feel anxious just putting it on will relieve that tension .

Massage- releases the tension that builds up in your tissues. Often with anxiety we store it in major muscle groups apart from the usual chronic shoulders and neck so leg muscles etc can go into spasm. Reaction from the guts is also common, you may find you get wild disturbances.

When you are starting to feel anxious - Bach rescue remedy will take the edge off.. These are flower essences, are completely safe and have no sideeffects. A couple of squirts in a bottle of water and sip liberally all day. Additionally, I used Aspen for fear, Cherry plum for terror and Rock rose for control.

Nutritional supplements – having panic and anxiety is extremely draining on your body resources. A strong 50-100 mg Vit B complex supplement is highly

Laurie28
08-12-03, 15:37
The key to getting over this is to do the feared thing at least 3 times
The first time to prove you can actually get through it and survive
the second time to find out how to do it properly and
the third to find out whether you like it !!
Meg


I never thought about it like that before!! and i never knew that.

I am going to take a print out of everything you have here and add to my 'new me' folder

The advise is great and it gives me a kind of tick list!!

Love
lucky

LindaM
09-12-03, 04:29
Becez, I can feel your distress. I have had panic, and OCD since childhood. I still have these but at a lesser degree. What the others have posted to you are wonderful suggestions and insight as to what we all need. I am not educated about this type of thing just lived with it. For me I had to stop and think in depth what was prying on my mind and it usually came down to fear of rejection. When I reached a point when I truly felt less concerned at what others people thought of me and that we are all equal in spirit it helped me to feel better. I have a disability also that keeps me house bound and although I would love to have my physical life back it has given me the time to think about things. I have learned a meditation technique that helps me. It may sound kind of odd. I lay in a quiet room. I picture a box and wait for what ever is bothering me or causing me stress to a peer. It does I allow it to speak to me and tell me what is at the core of distress. Then I put it into the mental box close it and don't allow it to open. It sounds kind of kooky I know but it has helped me at times get to the source of my thoughts. LindaM

Prettyface110
09-12-03, 14:26
Hiya,

My advice is to definitely go for the post Grad. I've just finished my Masters degree and it was without doubt the best thing I've ever done. I made the most amazing friends, changed my whole way of thinking (about myself as well as life in general) and my confidence has soared. I even went from being unable to travel a short bus ride to University, to going to Amsterdam on a coach with my peers for 5 days (without my husband who has been my emotional crutch for years)! I am very proud of my achievements and have built them up so that I can now look back when I'm having a re-lapse and be reassured that I CAN and WILL overcome anything I am faced with in life.
I wish a similar experience for you during your time as a post-grad, just take it one step at a time!!! It might change your life?
As for presentations, you'd be surprised how terrified your fellow students also are!!! Don't see things you might not be that good at as failings, we learn from all experiences -good and bad- everything you do is a huge accomplishment especially when you suffer from an anxiety disorder!
GOOD LUCK!
prettyface110

benoo5
09-12-03, 17:42
dear linda,

that is a great visualisation technique,that your using,and it does work!..ide be interested to hear,where you learnt about it...best wishes..bryan.

nomorepanic
09-12-03, 22:19
quote:Originally posted by LindaM

I picture a box and wait for what ever is bothering me or causing me stress to a peer. It does I allow it to speak to me and tell me what is at the core of distress. Then I put it into the mental box close it and don't allow it to open. It sounds kind of kooky I know but it has helped me at times get to the source of my thoughts. LindaM

Linda

This sounds similar to the sort of things I did in hypnotherapy and also one of my relaxation tapes talks about taking a box and putting all the troubles in it and shutting it until you have finished the relaxation exercise.

Sounds good to me anyway


Nicola

diana
09-12-03, 23:24
Hiya Linda,

Welcome aboard!!! Thanks for the information, sounds good to me too. I am going to try that and see if it works for me. I`ll let you know how I do with that technique.

Take care,

Diana xxx

LindaM
10-12-03, 01:31
HI all, I am so glad you all didn't think I was a weirdo. Actually I learned most of the stuff I do out of neccessity from listening to my brain. I started having panic and OCD like I said when I was around 11 or 12. One thing I did years ago when experiencing that I would have the desire to breathe and see the color purple. Well years later when I was around 30 I read an article about a technique of breathing in colors and certain ones helps certain things. I was shocked because at 12 and a little older I knew nothing of those things and back then all wasn't out in the open about mental problems. It dawned on me that some of these odd things that enter our mind and seem like they are part of the illness is what the brain is needing for help. So I started to trust my weird inclinations. I had seen a therapist when I was 25 one time and then again when I was 30. The one at 30 gave me a tape to do relaxation which helped me also. When my father died in feb of 2000 and my father in law 6 of 2000 I got very depressed and was experiencing PTSD. I also have a disorder that took away my balance function which added stress to my already anxiety. Anyway my husband got depressed and left because of his fathers death and I was having trouble from that. Everyone was telling me to take my husband for everything because I am disabled and we have been married for 23 years. I didn't feel that was right. So I did some meditation and this box thing came up on me. I felt better and also had thoughts on what my husband needed. So I realized he needed to live life even if it hurt me. He did come back and everything is ok. I use to get some cologne and sniff it one from my past when I was healthy and it would put me back in better days. I ended up seeing counselor in 2001 and still do. But she told me all those things were techniques also and to listen to my own self. She does help me too because I get stuck in self pity and can't always pull myself up no matter how much I meditate or try to figure things out myself. Linda

diana
11-12-03, 00:01
Hiya Linda,

No wierdos here!!! LOL..... Just "NORMAL" people with not so unusual disorders. I am glad to hear your counselor is doing you well. I am also happy for you that your husband is back in your life and everything is going well. Sorry however to hear of your losses in such a close time period. That is enough to make anyone depressed. I too have OCD, it is bearable now, but has been "UNBEARABLE" at times, as I`m sure you know. If not prying too much, what is the nature of your OCD? Mine is rearranging things and dusting and "blowing" things off. I guess it is a combination of a fear of losing control, hence the rearranging and a fear of dust and dirt, hence the dusting and blowing. Of course the anxiety/panic disorder is not very helpful with the OCD. Oh well though, we all have our crosses to bear I suppose. Do keep posting to let us know how you are getting along.

Take care,

Diana xxx

LindaM
11-12-03, 02:01
Hi Diana, My OCD is not a main source of concern any longer either. I too had younger days it was not as managable. That is the reason I first saw a doctor at 25. I never heard of OCD until then. I am a hand washer, checker, everything in a straight line type. I can do things with out the need as much now. I was told it does tend to stay in the minds mental process even when the out ward physical rituals aren't there. I agree with that thought. Its been an interesting jouney. I do think when a person is plauged with these types of problems can keep a you blocked from living life to the fullest. take care LindaM

diana
11-12-03, 04:39
Hiya Linda,

I too agree with that statement, With these types of disorders it is very hard to live life to the "FULLEST"!!!! However I do believe together here on this forum we will all beat this thing.

Take care,

Diana xxx

becez
07-01-04, 15:24
Dear Friends,
I hope that all of you are perfectly fine. I am extremely sorry that I couldn't remain on forum for last few weeks.It was not the case as if I was very bussy or going on great guns but I was just going
through some problems which have connections with last three years of mine and I will discuss these problems today.

1) I mentioned in my initial post that I like to do MRCP,yes this is true that i like to do MRCP but one more thing which in discussing my psychological problems i couldnot discuss that I have already an unsuccessful attempt at MRCP-1 from london in september last year.Hear is my academic story.
Firstly I gave PLAB-1exam (PLAB is a medical licensing exam for uk and has two parts on conduct in different countries Non-EU contries but PLAB-2 only conducts is UK.
So,in my first attempt at PLAB-1 exam I failed the exam with 5 marks than in my second attempt I failed the exam by just 3 marks atlast after wasting a huge money i passed the plab-1 exam in third attempt.As I belong to lower-middle class family,it took me 8 months to apply for visa to uk after getting some loans and doing some low pay scale jobs in accordance with my personality.At last,I applied for visa to give plab-2 and mrcp-1 exam in uk(mrcp-1 in september and plab-2 after a month in october)I was hoping that after passing mrcp-1 and plab-2 exam I can get a job always closing my eyes from my generalized anxiety personality trait,waiting for some miracles to happen,but what happen that my visa was refused in first instance.Than I applied for visa and in second time i receive it just a week before my mrcp-1exam and the time and due to visa problem i just couldnot concentrate on my study and after receiving my visa before exam i just manage to take a ticket and have an appearance in the exam as the exam fees is non-refundable.Than after a month i gave plab-2 exam and couldn't pass that exam as well.

Now, I like to take some advice from you.Here in Bangladesh I am assosiated with a General Practice based clinic.I have a feeling that i have some germs of becoming a good general practitioner as I have some good counselling skills to satisfy the pts and this also suits me because on clinic i don't have to give any presentations or any thing like that.The clinic on which i work is owned by doctor and i look after the clinic on my own on sundays and as a reliever in the absence of the owner with whom I have very long relationship of about 3-4 years and till now he looks to be a man of words.He runs the clinic in evening.and the clinic remain closed in the morning Now he is saying to me that If I like I could start his clinic in morning,
we expect to have a good OPD in the morning.

So considering this whole situations,do you like to give me any suggestions what should i do should i accept his offer and run his clinic in the morning on salary basis and start my own clinic in evening
or even after facing so much hard luck in MRCP and PLAB waste more money on that aspect.

I am just very depressed these days.Kindly advice me.

Bye.


Ak

diana
07-01-04, 15:47
Welcome back Becez,

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. The clinic thing sounds like a great opportunity. However if you are really wanting to do MRCP and PLAB, I mean if that is your dream then that is what you should work toward. Anything you choose is going to be tough either way, so if you have to struggle then you may as well struggle to make your dreams come true. Keep posting to let us know how you are doing and what you decide to do. We are here for you, you don`t have to do this all alone. I really admire the efforts you have put forth to achieve success within your self. Keep up the hard, but good work. Best Of Luck to you Becez.

Diana xxxx

becez
08-01-04, 13:45
Dear Diana,Thankyou very much for your kind and helpful reply.Yes,my dream has been to do MRCP and PLAB to get some distinction in my field.However,don't you think that one should be realistic as well and should take into account the ground realities as well.So even If I could do MRCP and PLAB,than what could be my future prospects considering my personality trait.Now,I am 28 years old and working on these psychiatric problems of mine for atleast 8-9 years and didn't get cure to do the normal task in hospital(giving presentation,discussing different cases with seniors with confidence) so will I have to spend a more miserable life after getting through MRCP.
2)One more thing is this,One fellow on the forum gave some news about cycloserine,about its role in treating phobias ,if use for 3 weeks,as i know that the dose of 50mg is very low to cause any sort of side effects,I took it for 3 weeks but didn't get any response as such.I also discuss role of cycloserine with some seniors but they also don't know exactly about the role of cycloserine in treating phobias.
Sorry that I write a long post everytime but the thing is that I have an internet cable and it creates problem off and on so when it is working properly I like to have a longer communication with all of you.

Bye and take care.
Ak


Ak

diana
08-01-04, 16:33
Hi there again Becez,

There is never a post here that is too long. We love the long , the short or just the indifferent LOL.... :). Becez don`t sell yourself short, I know you are looking at the long term, as well you should. But you have already accomplished soooo much, if it is truly your dream to do MRCP and PLAB. Then you should go for it!!! I feel that either way is going to be rough for you, because if you do not fulfill your dreams, then you will always regret it. I know that!!!!! Which of course still leads to unfinishd business, which also leads to the attacks and just plain GAD. I know you have been struggling with these disorders for some time, as most of us here have, but do you think right now, in this moment alot of your anxiety can be from the indecisiveness of what you should do or not do? Perhaps once you have completed your schedule of tests and get your degrees , atleast most of the anxiety should subside. I know this is alot for you to take in, but I truly believe you can and will be successful in the field you dream of. It appears to me that you have alot of high expectations of yourself. Sometimes just that alone can cause anxiety. You can do this, I know you can. Stop beating yourself up or feeling like you need to settle for less than your dreams because of this disorder. You have come this far with all other odds against you "DO NOT" let this disorder steal your dreams away from you. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing. We all care about one another here, and want everyone here to overcome this disorder and live a full successful life. Let me know what you decide to do, and remember we are all here to support you in what ever you decide.

Take care dear,

Diana xoxoxo

becez
08-01-04, 20:54
Dear Diana,
Thank you very much for your precious reply.I cannot tell my gratitude for you.I have never come across with such encouraging words which you have written for me.May God bless you forever.
I like to discuss one more point with you which is also a
dreadful shade of my life and I have gone through this shade of my pesonality in past as well and after discussing this with you you may get more indepth information regarding my psychiatric problem.
Today in the evening I was going on road to have a walk,suddenly I saw two peoples who were quarrel with each other after having a road accident.Will you believe that though I was not with any respect concerned with their dispute but my heart just started pounding,hand started trembling and I don't know what happened with my eyes,it looked as If someone is closing my eyes with force even this become impossible for me to stand there.
As you already given me very precious advices I thought i should discuss this matter with a helpful friend like you.
Finally please pray for me.

Many Regards.
AK.


Ak

diana
08-01-04, 23:28
Dearest Becez,

Thank you!!!! very much for hearing me out. I know this is something you can and will accomplish. I understand about your feelings of nervousness during that quarrel between the people in the road due to the accident. Sometimes even though it may seem that we are not concerned or bothered about a matter, subconciously we are vulnerable to any unsettling conditions. It is just the way our bodies react to certain things. In cases where there are people with anxiety the reaction is more intense than your average person. The symptoms you describe are often symptoms of "ACUTE" anxiety, which in some cases can actually leave you hystrerically blind for awhile. I am not telling you this to scare you even more, but just to let you know that what you are feeling is quite relevant to the anxiety disorder. I will definitely pray for you and keep you in my thoughts. Please keep posting whenever you get a chance to let me know how you are getting along. I know you will do fine. I have faith in you. Just remember and focus on all you have achieved so far, and keep the faith in yourself, and may God Bless You all the days of your life. Thank you for the same kind sentiments. Take care sweet Becez, Remember you have a friend indeed!!!!!

Love,

Diana xxxxx

becez
09-01-04, 21:45
Dearest Friend Diana,
Thank you once again for your kind reply.Yes,I think your are absolutely right about being hystrerically blind for a while.I would also add one thing here,that as I have been continously studying that it is the cognition on which we have to work,so whenever i face these sorts of situations i re-assure myself,but i didn't get any relief.
Diana,you have told me about admiration on achieving many things,i think with this you mean about getting through my medicine career and PLAB-1
exam but here i would say that what is the worth of passing these exams in the world.Even my own parents are not very happy with me after i have wasted so much money during my whole journey so far including a failed and expensive journey to uk.
Dear Diana,when i discussed with you about the road accident scenario and my feelings and mental status at that time,do you think that my mental problem has very deep roots inside me.
Dearest Diana,finally for now do you like to give me some management advice regarding my problem.

Thankyou once again.

Many Regards.
Ak.



Ak

diana
10-01-04, 05:12
Dear sweet Becez,

Firstly let me say that you have most definitely accomplished alot inspite of this disorder. Maybe right now your parents are not happy with the circumstances, but there is no such thing as a "WASTE" of money or time when working toward a goal or dream. Trust me when you have completed all of what is required of you to be the best in your field. Your parents will be overwhelmed with pride. I know the expense of this can be a hardship, but look at all you get back once you have completed your tests and exams. I know after you are finished alot of the anxiety and stress will go away or at least be less bothersome than it is right now. Your self esteem will be through the roof. No journey toward your calling is ever a wasted journey. Perhaps this is the reason you are here, and if you do not answer your calling you could be yet more miserable. I know this is hard and expensive, but go for your dream, you will be soooo fulfilled if you do. Don`t wait till later in life to wish you had, and be miserable because you did`nt try. You are on your way there, run with it. On the statement you made about the mental problem being deep within you, well all I can say is that certainly anyone who suffers this disorder feels as if it is something that just sits beneath our thoughts waiting for a reason to show it`s ugly head, but maybe just maybe it is there for a reason to make us feel when other wise we may not. I know that is a very different way to look at this disorder but. It must have a purpose within us everything does. Just know you are not alone and inspite of your disorder you can and will succeed. I will be right here behind you, so will your parents :D. Take care dear Becez.

Love,

Diana xoxoxo

becez
27-01-04, 14:09
Dear Diana and All,
Hi
I hope you are fine.After about 2 weeks I have again come here to meet my friends,actually i have started an another GP based job according to my personality along with my older job and was also going through flu because of seasonal changes.I like to share with you the latest situation at my side.
1)I went to wedding ceremony of my first cousin last sunday,it was more like a family gathering but i just cursing myself since that day because of the miserable panic and anxiety i went through that way.
When i entered the wedding lawn,it was almost packed and when i entered there i just become so much panicy that i thought twice about just running away,what is irony with me that a 28 year old doctor was panicing like children.I could not tell you how much mental fatigue i have faced that evening and i just remain on the edge of panic till the very end of that ceremony.My eyes were closing,heart was pounding,hands were trembling severely and i am quite sure that most of the people there had noticed my condition.
I just don't know why i just went out of my mind,there were hundreds of people my younger cousing and others who were enjoying the ceremony but i was just praying for the ceremony to finish.
Why I felt so.
Since that night,now i am seriously thinking about cutting off my dream about MRCP and PLAB and just to start clinic.

Please give me your opinion about my condition at the wedding ceremony.

Bye.


Ak

becez
27-01-04, 20:45
Dear friends,
i am looking for your advice.
Bye

Ak

sadie
27-01-04, 20:58
Hi Becez,

I am sorry that you are having a bit of a difficult time at the moment and that you didnt enjoy the wedding. I think what happens in these type of situations is that we worry about panicing at them days before we have even gotten there and so when the day finally comes we are on edge all day. I know this for certain because this is what I have done in the past.

What do you do to relax? You seem to have quite a lot on at the moment with your jobs etc...do you think you are maybe taking on too much at the moment, as this could be causing you extra stress?

I do think you should follow your dreams and definetly dont let this disorder keep you from that but you do have to look after your own health in the meantime. Just make sure you relax enough, eat and sleep well and this should help keep you healthy whilst you cope with your anxiety.

Take care

sadie

diana
28-01-04, 14:34
Hiya Becez,

Long time no hear. Sorry to hear you are struggling still. I think like Sadie said that you may be taking on too much at one time. You really must slow down a bit, take time to smell the roses as they say. Try to relax, do some relaxation exercises, do some deep breathing, these all should help calm you down. I agree with Sadie also about getting all worked up and stressed out way before an event that by the time it is upon us we are even more stressed. Try not to worry to much about that though. Try to do only what is absolutely necessary for the day. Do try to calm down, keep posting to let us know how you are getting on with things.

Take care,

Diana xxxxx

becez
30-03-04, 10:29
Hi,
Friends I hope that you remember me.I am extremely sorry that I couldn't become a regular and active participant on this forum but believe me that I am going through the worst period of my life fighting with the evil of panic and anxiety.
As I am a doctor,I realize that I have to overcome these feelings right now,otherwise my upcoming life will be more stressful and horrible than my current life.
I feel my self lucky in the sense that I came towards this site to get support from peoples like Diana,Mag and all others.
I need your guidance and advice once again.These days I am doing a Diabetic course from a government hospital.We are aroung 35 peoples all doctors of different ages.The course is started from 15th marach and will last till 30 April.When I get myself registered for this course,the utmost desire for me was to get some confidence during this cours which I lack since my childhood as I mentioned in my very first post.
During these 15 days though I managed to ask some very short questions during which I don't have to speak too much,however, I still feel quite dreadful.
Dear friends,Could you kindly advice me that how should I take steps to overcome the feelings of panic
and generalized anxiety while attending this course.

Many Many Regards to all of you.

Becez.


Ak

diana
30-03-04, 17:25
Welcome back Becez,

So glad to hear from you again. :)

I am sorry to hear that you are still battling the anxiety/panic monster.

Good for you for moving forward despite your disorder.

It is very important/imperative that you continue your studies.

The only advice I can offer is to keep doing what you are doing and adding on as you go along.

What I mean by that is to maybe try writing questions down before you go to class. So as to not be pressured to ask an immediate question without much thought.

If you ask only 1 or 2 questions a day then add a 3rd then a forth and so on as you feel more comfortable.

Just start with little steps then move on up to bigger steps. We all have to start somewhere. :)

I really admire the fact that you have dug your heals in and stuck with your course of study despite your dealing with anxiety/panic.

Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

Becez never give up. We all have to deal with this day in and day out. I`m not sure it ever really goes totally away. I think it stays somewhere in the backs of our minds even when we are doing well.

You are doing everything right.

Just try to keep reminding yourself that you are not alone, and that you are strong and you will overcome this because you will never give up.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

One other thing, I know this is easier said than done trust me I do, but If you "ACT" confident you will start to feel confidence. I hope this makes sense.

Take care dear,

Diana xxxx

becez
01-04-04, 10:43
Dearest Diana,
I am extremely grateful for your so kind and helpful reply.You are certainly a very nice person.
Thankyou very much for your advice.I will try to keep posted any changes on my side.

Many Many Regards.

Becez.

Ak

diana
01-04-04, 22:57
Oh Becez,

No problem at all.

I do hope you are feeling a bit more confident now.

I know you can conquer this fear.

You are very strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep up the great work dear, and keep us posted as to how you are coming along.

I wish you loads of luck dear.

Take care,

Diana xxxx

becez
08-04-04, 18:09
Dearest Friend Diana and All,
I hope that all of you must be going on with great guns in all aspects of your life.
Friends as I mentioned in one of my previous post that thes days I am doing a Diabetic course from a government based teaching hospital.Initially when I started this course I had a feeling of anxiety and apprehension regarding attending lectures in wards and seminar rooms given by different professors mainly endocrinologist and in meeting with other doctors during this course in a social atmosphere.
But it was because of moral support and advice from friends like you and specially Diana that I have noticed a considerable change in my attitude and thought process.I have been able to ask some questions during lecture and to participate somewhat in discussions during ward rounds.
However,as I know that it is not possible to conquer the feelings of anxiety and panic suddenly and specially if it is present for a very long time as in my case, therefore I am still suffering from some problems for which I once again need your valuable advices and suggestions.

1) When I ask a question during lecture, it becomes difficult for me to ask a long question.I just manage to ask a short which comprise of one or two sentence.
2)Secondly, when I intend to ask any question in the middle of my question it looks as if my thoughts are gettin block it becomes somewhat difficult for me to ask the question very clearly.
3)Thirdly,sometime this has happened that I asked a question in the class and my professor in trying to clearly understand my question,ask me some clearification and that made me panic.

Though, I am going to hospital on daily basis,but I am still having some anxiety and feelings of panic because of above-mentioned problems and for these problems I need your help and advice once again.

Regards to all members of this great forum.

Bye.

becez.



Ak

becez
09-04-04, 08:56
Hi,
Dear Friends,I am looking forward for your helpful suggestions as ever before.
Please advice me.

Bye.
becez.

Ak

kate
09-04-04, 09:41
Hiya Becez,

Firstly, well done on continuing with your studies.

You are finding it hard to ask the questions at your lectures due to your anxiety and feelings of self consciousness.

Before you ask a question, make sure your breathing is regulated. Not easy to ask questions whilst hyperventilating!

At first, try asking just short questions and then, when your anxiety subsides, go for longer ones.

Could you not have a word with your tutor and explain that asking questions in class embarasses you somewhat.

It might be that you are able to make a note of any questions you have, during class, and then go to your tutor afterwards to get the answers.

As you get more confident with the situation,you can then start to participate more in the actual class.

Hope this information is of some help. This is how I would personally deal with the problem

Let us know how you get on

Kate x

becez
09-04-04, 17:32
Dear Kate,
Thanks for your helpful reply.I will be definitely remain in touch with all of you.
Bye.

Ak

becez
13-04-04, 15:15
Dear Friends,
Hello! I hope that all of you are perfectly alright.With your precious advices and support I am managing things these days with more relaxation and confidence than ever before, though I still feel that I need a lot of improvement to reach the ideal level of self-confidence.
In this regard,I will like to share with all of you some changes in my thought process so that it may be beneficial to someone.
I think one very common aspect of thinking process among all of panic sufferer is that we have over-dramatizing and over-generalizing thinking process so once we face a situation and develop some panic we spread it on our whole body and mental attitude as I have find that in last few weeks I have tried to keep every occasion to its merit and I think that this is the main reason of some improvement in my thinking process.

However,I do have some apprehension and I will be extremely grateful if some helpful soul could advice me.
1) I am tentative regarding the matter that I may come across some social incidence which may result in lost of my progress which i have made so far.So in hopital while attending lectures and asking questions with consultants I have some scary feelings that If they say some harsh words to me in front of class i may loss my sense of confidence.

2) Since I took admission in diabetic course, I have been trying to take steps gradually one by one rating
from asking just one small question in the class to give presentation in ward as these are necessary and obligatory requirement (not super genious )if one likes to persue a career in the field of medicine and without havine these skills one cannot move ahead in the field of clinical medicine.
But I am rather perplexed about how to approach things completely.For instance,till now I have been able to
a) ask a single and very short question in the class
b) than I become able to ask a single comparatively long question in the class.
c) afterwards in last few days I have been asking two to three long question in the class.

But I have to reach the stage where I become able to give presentation in front of my whole class with the feeling of confidence and relaxation.

So please advice me, how should I approach things from now onwards.

Many Many Regards to all.



Ak

sarah
13-04-04, 15:44
Hiya Becez

You sound like you are doing great and have a good attitude towards helping yourself, so congratulations on getting this far!!!

As for giving a presentaton in front of the class, I think with more practice at asking longer questions and being more confident with this, hopefully the presentation will become almost second nature.

I had to give a training presentation once and it was videoed. Afterwards, the trainer asked me how I thought I had done and I said 'terrible, I was stuttering and shaking' and he said nonsense and that I was one of the best on the course. Needless to say I didnt believe him until I watched the tape back when I got home and I really did look confident and no shaking and stammering was evident. So basically, how I felt didnt come across at all, so dont worry about people noticing you being nervous..it probably wont show and they will almost all be nervous too!!!

keep us informed on how you are doing?

love Sarah
xx

diana
13-04-04, 19:17
Hiya Becez,

Good on you!!!!!!!

You have come so far.

You are sounding more confident and more positive than ever before. I am so very proud of you.

You are doing everything right, so not to worry that you are`nt doing everything you can possibly do.

I totally agree with Sarah`s post. You do have a very good attitude toward helping yourself.

You have already been given so much good advice here.

The only thing I think I would add as a suggestion on giving the presentations, is maybe practicing in front of a mirror or even using your family as your audience until you feel a bit more confident with your speech.

Since we are all so good at mentally imagining things and senarios. Why not act as if they are more and unfamiliar people to you to give your presentation to.

Just an idea, I would do that if in your position.

You are really on your way to recovery Becez. I can tell a huge difference in your posts.

Just keep asking the questions you want answers to in your lectures, you will be just fine.

Remember "LITTLE STEPS"!!!!!! first ask small, short questions then move your way up to longer and bigger questions.

Please let us know how you are getting on with things.

Take care dear,

Diana xoxo

becez
14-04-04, 17:28
Dear Sarah and Diana,
I am extremely grateful for your encouraging replies.I hope that all of us can conquer panic and axiety forever.
As I said that though I am getting some progress however I am still tentative and before asking questions in wards or seminar room, I think
twice.
I will be looking forward for your advice and help all the time as on this forum I could discuss those thoughts which other peoples don't understand.

Dear Friends,I am more than 28 years old right now.I am the eldest son of my parents.You can assume that parents have more expectations from their eldest child.Now the situation is that,It is four year now since I did my graduation and I have not yet established myself and not able to provide any comfort for my parents.Infact after I have a failed and costly journey to UK so at times I feel guilty that I have lost so much amount.
So these are also some points which constantly hit my brain and are agonising.

Friends,as I told you that 4 years have passed since my graduation so I think this is the last chance for me to get somewhere in my career.
If I didn't gather myself to reach some respectable position in my life than I may not be able to do it for my whole life.

Because of your precious and valuable advices I have taken some small steps towards a state of self-confidence and belief but I like to know your personal opinion that what level of self-confidence and belief I should achieve before thinking of going to UK to complete my
unfinished task.

Many Many Regards to All.

BYE.
becez.

Ak

becez
15-04-04, 14:20
Hello!

I am desperately looking forward for your advice as ever.

Bye.
becez.

Ak

diana
15-04-04, 15:15
Hiya Becez,

It is understandable that you might be a little apprehensive in asking your questions right away because of your lack of confidence right now.

I assure you though the more you do it, the easier it will be.

Just try to regulate your breathing before asking your questions and try to remind yourself that what you are feeling is "NORMAL". Even without the anxiety/panic disorder people feel a bit uncomfortable asking questions or giving presentations in a crowd. That goes for everyone.

It is not unusual for you to feel these feelings.

As you are able to ask more and longer questions your confidence will build.

I honestly don`t think you will have any problem this time around going to the UK to finish your tests.

You may however be a little nervous maybe even have some bouts of anxiety, but you can get through this we know you can, and so do you.

Again it is "NOT" unusual to have these feelings with or without the disorder we suffer.

I think everyone or atleast most everyone on here would agree that they to have bouts of anxiety and nervousness when being tested or having to take an exam.

Try not to dwell to much on the "what if`s" and the "I cant`s" , because you will and can do this. I know you can!!!!!

I know it has been hard to be unsuccessful in your previous trip to the UK but now you know what bothered you then and can prevent it this time around, because at the end of the day even though you did not get through your test you are still here to talk about the experience.

Like Meg says "WHAT DOES`NT KILL US ONLY MAKES US STRONGER"!!!!! I believe that and that is the advantage you have on your side this time around.

I know to that it is quite hard to live up to everyone else`s expectations of us, which may be causing alot of anxiety for you since you know that your parents are expecting or have expected more from you than you have been able to provide them with so far.

I know this is easier said than done but you have to fulfill your own expectations of yourself first, because only you know your capabilities right now.

Please be kind to yourself and try not to load yourself and thoughts with so much that you can not put things into perspective.

Sometimes just sitting down and making a list of priorities and a time line to do them in makes all the difference in the world for our daily tasks.

When planning your trip to the UK and mulling over what you must do and not do. Just focus on that, not the possibility of disappointing your parents or the possibilities of failure.

You can do this Becez, you have come this far you can complete the final exams on your road to success in your career of choice.

It is going to be uncomfortable maybe even a little nervousness, but remember we all have that, it is "NORMAL"!!!!!!

Please keep us posted as to how you are getting on with things okay?

Take care,

Diana

Meg
15-04-04, 16:38
"WHAT DOES`NT KILL US ONLY MAKES US STRONGER"!!!!!- Charlies personal quote. It's a really good one.

Meg

diana
15-04-04, 16:42
Yea it is Meg.

I believe that whole heartedly.

Thank you Charlie, for the words of wisdom!!!!!! :)

Take care,

Diana xxxxx

becez
16-04-04, 13:58
Dear Friend Diana,
I will definitely keep posting about what's happening on my side.

Thank you so much for your precious reply once again.

Bye.
becez.

Ak

becez
18-04-04, 13:51
Dear Friend Diana and All,
I hope that everything is perfectly fine at your end.Though with support from nice peoples like you I am feeling a bit confident than ever before but I am still going through episodes of feeling low and down.

Friends,could someone from you throw some light about why we feel the symptoms of depersonalization or unreality, as i have just gone through these symptoms on two to three occasions in last couple of days and that is too on occasions where I wasn't at all under any threat or any thing like that.I felt these symptoms yesterday when i was talking with some colleagues in the hospital who are nice in nature and with whom I have developed a good relationship but these symptoms of un-reality seems to come from now-where.
At the moment,I don't have very conceptual reason for these symptoms,could someone from you kindly explain what is the reason for these symptoms???
I have also went through these symptoms while just talking with my family members when I was taking lunch or dinner.In addition to this I have also feel these symptoms when I don't have some sleep in afternoon.I like to know what is the reason?

Friends, I can't afford to loose now, I am desperated to finish my un-finished assignments.
It is only helpful soul like you who understands about my mental state at this time,so please advice me.

Regards to All Friends.

Bye.
becez.


Ak

becez
18-04-04, 20:35
I am looking forward for your replies, friends.
May God bless you all.

Bye.
becez.

Ak

becez
20-04-04, 11:29
Hi,
Just didn't hear from someone for some time.By the grace of God,I am going O.K,just one thing which I am seeing as a major change in myself is a greater degree of motivation than before.
Though,I still feel apprehension,lack of confidence at times but now I don't care too much about what people around me are thinking, on occassions when i loose my ground.
One thing which I will definitely say that the information on the front page given by MAG is excellent and very precious for all sufferers.

I just have one querry at the moment and will be pleased if someone could spare time to reply.
I like to know that,is there any side effect of using the Bach resue remedies, as I have been using these remedies for last couple of months and found them useful, however,i was discussing it with one of my colleague and he said that,herbal preparations are very un-predictable and could cause side effect to any system of body.

Would anyone advice that,is it true or not?

Regards.

Ak

Meg
20-04-04, 13:04
Hi,

What a great shift in attitude to the ' don't care too much' . Well done on this important step forward.

There are no known side effects of Bach remedies.. They are not herbs - but essences of flowers and very diluted at that . They work on a vibrational plane not a systemic one so if they're helping - keep it going. Which ones are you using ?

Thanks - I'm glad you found the First Steps useful.

I wrote it primarily so there would be a printable reference document for sufferers and their families to learn basic information from and secondly so we wouldn't have to repeat ourselves so often for each new sufferer who essentially needs the same information initially when they find their way here.

Good for you on all your progress recently.



Meg

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire

diana
20-04-04, 15:15
Good on you Becez for your recent steps forward.

That attitude (DON`T CARE TOO MUCH) is the best to have.

I "think" that is probably a root problem in the anxiety/panic disorder is that we care to much about everything. So it manifests itself through panic/anxiety.

Just what I think though. No medical proof. :)

Keep on straight ahead with your road to recovery. You sound as though you are doing great.

I can tell in your recent posts that you are more motivated than ever.

Good on you. :-D

Keep us posted on your progress.

Take care and good luck in all of your endeavors.

Diana xxxx

becez
20-04-04, 20:35
Dear Meg and Diana,

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement.Please pray for me that I don't loose what I have achieved so far and keep adding on my level of self-confidence and belief,as for me this is now or never situation for me, because since I have come from UK I have been continuosuly thinking that my worst enemy is within me( panic and anxiety) so please remember me in your prayers.


I am using Bach resue remedy,Aspen, cherry plum and rock rose and found them quite useful and would advice for all panic fellows.

Could someone kindly advice me that is there any site on the net(web) through which one can download some sort of relaxation(hypnotic)therpay i.e with audio recording.

Thank you once again.

Many Regards to All,

Bye.

Ak

becez
22-04-04, 22:08
Hi to all,
Friends,its O.K about relaxation material,i know that it is difficult to get this material from net.I just asked this question as I didn't find the relaxation CD around my area,some CDs collections were able but not purely hypnotic therapy based,but its fine.I will try to get it from somewhere.

Friends, I like to know your opinions or personal experience regarding some points:
1)Though I am getting some self-confidence but i am seeing that mainly this confidence is the eagerness to gain confidence itself rather that i am behaving in a confident.I mean that time and again I get the fealing of un-reality or loosing my mind and that too on occasions when I am really not in any stress at all,for instance I get this feeling even while talking to family members like my brothers,sisters and my parents.I just wonder what cause this feeling of unreality at those occassions or would you say that,perhaps the correct answer is that we don't yet know the exact reason.

Please share your opinion.

Bye

Ak

Meg
23-04-04, 10:40
I think thats normal , you have to push yourself whilst still feeling dreadful and eventually the really feeling better bit comes along. This is true in everyday situations as well as in stressful ones

www.hypnosisaudio.co.uk is a good place to order CD's but I don't know of anywhere you can download them from.


Meg

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire

diana
29-04-04, 15:09
Becez,

I will definitely keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I am sure that you will not lose what you have already achieved. Stop being so hard on yourself.

Keep buliding on your confidence, you are doing just fine.

I am so happy to hear that the herbs and remedies suggested are doing you some good.

Sorry, I am not aware of any place on the web that you can download hypnotic/relaxation audio tapes.

Becez, I am not sure exactly what happens in the brain when we get this feeling you describe of being unreal. However I do know most of us go through this at times and that it is quite a "NORMAL" symptom of anxiety. So you should`nt focus or worry to much about that, it will pass in time.

Just to add onto the suggested website Meg sent you to order hypnotic/relaxation CD`s from, I have personally used that website and it is great.

I hope you find something there that will help you. I`m sure you will.

Take care and best wishes,

Diana xxxx

becez
29-04-04, 20:42
Dear Diana,

Thank you so much for your kind words.It is always helpful for me to see replies from friends like you.
Though I am making some recovery,however these days I have been occupied with so much depression that I just cannot express it fully and main reason of this depression is not mainly problems relating to panic and anxiety as I am going on just O.K on that front.
Today, I like to discuss other factors which are causing me severe type of depression.
1)As you know that now I am 28 years old. Now,at this stage parents and other family members expect some financial assistance from a person specially if he belongs to professional field like doctors.
But, I am not able to support my family economically.
2)As you can imagine that since I have come from UK just remain un-successful,no one is really happy with me and this makes my life miserable.
3)One MAJOR point of concern for me is also that I am just not able to decide which option is better for me,not ideally but REALISTICALLY that is:
1) Should I keep struggling on the path of PLAB and going to UK once again.

OR

2) Being realistic, I should start family practice in my own country as family practice is comparatively an easy option and I have been running a clinic for about 2 year which is own by an another Doctor but by running the clinic(OPD) I have gain skill of doing family practice.

Friends, I also need realistic advice from you,so please give me your suggestions in the light of my History that if a person who has been suffering from Anxiety and Panic since birth(as far as I can remember) and a person whose problems relating to Anxiety and Panic are so severe that sometimes I become panic and anxious even in front of my family members, will it be realistic and sensible for me to invest a big amount once again for UK journey.

I am really very confused these days regarding my decision and I desperately need you advice and opinions.

Many Many Regards.
becez.

Ak

diana
30-04-04, 18:30
Becez,

I am glad that our posts are helping you through most of your issues.

I am also very pleased that the anxiety/panic are under control at the moment.

I really do sympathise with you on the tug of war to either invest/keep struggling in your career or stop midstream and do family practice so you can start economically supporting your family.

I can only imagine what stress you must be under due to the pressure of family and financial need.

This is just my thought on this issue, but I think if you continue to "STRUGGLE" with aquiring the career that you dream of, in the long run there will be much more financial gain to support your family.

I think the struggle will pay off in the end.

I know it is impossible to please everyone and I know your family probably really can use the extra financial help, but you have to please yourself first so that you will be able to do what needs to be done for your family later.

If you do not complete your dream or atleast do everything you can to try to complete it you will regret it for the rest of your life. Then you will still be feeling depressed about that. You have come so far to stop now Becez.

Of course it is always you who will make the final decision and just know that we are here to support your decision no matter what it is.

I just wanted to let you know what my opinion is.

I know you can do this. You`ve already come so far and trust me it will pay off in the end, for everyone.

Please keep us updated on your decision and your progress.

Take care and best wishes,

Diana xxxx