Fear of noisy neighbours

[whitelight]

Hi all,

I've been posting up my problem in the General Anxiety page, but I'm starting to wonder if my problem has moved into the realms of becoming a phobia.

Here's the link to the original page


http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=39480 (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=39480)

I'm now at that point where even during the day, if I hear anything from downstairs or outside my body reacts in what I call an "adrenal dump" - my heart starts pounding, my stomach sinks, my hands start shaking, and my mind starts racing at a million miles an hour. It seems to be a classic panic attack, but it seems to be hearing outside noise (sudden noise like a dog, a door buzzer going, or a door banging) that brings it on.

It was / is originally tied to a fear about being kept awake / woken up at night by noisy neighbours, and despite the fact that this has happened only once in blue moon, it seems to be a real overiding fear of mine of late.

But when I start panicking even when the outside door bangs during the day, even though I know in my mind it's not a problem, my body seems conditioned to do the "adrenal dump".

Does this sound like a phobia? It seems to be just this specific situation that brings on the panic, and even thinking about it whilst somewhere else can cause the onset of an attack.
The problem I have is that I can't avoid it, because it concerns me being in my flat, and I'm unsure about how to proceed to try to correct this behaviour (see the original thread for details about medication I'm on and where I am at the moment.)

[whitelight]

Ok, I've seen that one of the ways to cure phobias is to face them in a graded way (like spiders, first look at a photo of one, then see one from the other side of the room etc..)

If I wanted to try and conquer this phobia / fear I have over neighbours being noisy during the night, does anyone have any suggestions about how I could go about exposing myself to it in a way which will be helpful.

In short, HOW DO I CONFRONT THIS FEAR?

No reply will be dismissed out of hand, I'd like to think I'm fairly open minded (despite having depression and anxiety!)

[mickh555]

I hate having to listening to neighbours.I wouldnt say it was a phobia.I would class it as an intrusion which is why its stressfull.I built false walls with sound deadening .As yours are underneath,i would get some sound deadening carpet/underlay.I suppose if they are reasonable people you could have a word.If they are not then dont as they will more than likely get worse.

[south450]

whitelight
This in my opinion is not a phobia.
Had the same problem with some neighbors.
Put 4 stereo speakers right near the ceiling and when they made noise blasted them.
Since the sound comes from the ceiling it sounds like it coming from them.
Side neighbors same treatment.
Speakers put against the wall,
If that does not work use skype to wake them up when they are sleeping.
still have the problem but it decreased.

[scaredstiffstan]

I googled fear of neighbours today and this thread came up. I can identify with it word for word. I've also been taking mirtazpine for a long while now but it really doesn't touch the big fears.

Time seems to stop as I know it when a new neighbour is moving in. I seem to go into a type of ptsd where inside its like a war zone yet I look at the faces of my family around me and they aren't affected by it, dont see it how I do.

Anyone have any ideas on what creates this kinda of fear?

[evil monkey]

this is semi related. i can relate to some of what you're saying. but i had a BIG problem with someone at work playing unwanted music few years back. it's when some of my symptoms started. We had a pa system with the radio coming out, and also a guy was playing stuff from his speakers, so I could hear two musics coming at once, hours a day. Was literally driving me mental. I had all sorts of 'nervous' related symptoms/inc toilet breaks/flakey skin on hands

I went all the way from 'asking' the guy to stop, to seeing the boss. I didn't actually know the company wanted me to leave (various drawn out reasons which came down to company tax), so my complaints were just listened to and ignored. didnt know this at the time. That's my fault for treating authority by the book. (Had a few life direction changing moments, when i remember some of the bad advice i was given about the whole thing. Hasn't made me stronger as such, just more weary of b/s)

i dont think it's a phobia as such just " " south/mick above....can you do earplugs at night ?

[Forest]

Whitelight.

I have the same problem as you. You can read my posts in General anxiety and the introduce yourself Forums. Please take the time to read it and let me know if we have a similar problem.

[Forest]

as the nights are getting lighter and the days getting sunnier I am getting more and more anxious about what I may here by my neighbours.

[lilly_whites]

Im glad its not just me, feel exactly the same, constantly checking if neighbours are out in gardens etc.

[Forest]

Hi Lilly Whites,

what do you think the answer is? Are we being silly about the whole situation as I think I am sometimes. But I Know I get very anxious when I go outside in the garden or just washing the car. I wish I knew the answer as sometimes it gets too much.

[Forest]

my Neighbours have officially put there house on the market so it looks like we will get new neighbours sometime. Just cant stop worring about it and its starting to make me feel really down. Dont really want to go to docs as I want to beat this myself and hopefully we will get some good neighbours like we have at the moment. But I find myself virtually all day thinking about this .

[theharvestmouse]

I'm sorry Forest but can you clarify what your problem is?

Is it that neighbours in general make you anxious, and you don't like hearing or seeing your neighbours at all?

Or is it that you have a fear of getting the neighbours from hell moving in next door?

Because you seem to post different posts on the same subject, I think LIlywhites was referring to feeling anxious in general about seeing/hearing neighbours.

[Forest]

My Fear is that I may get noisy neighbours. at the moment I have great neighbours who are very quiet and I am worried that when they move I will get people in next to me who are very noisy.. BBQs, Partys, Loud Children, Dogs out barking allday. etc.

[lilly_whites]

I feel exactly the same. I dont like it when people talk too loud, I tune into sounds that other people cant hear. Spoke to my doctor and says this is normal anxiety feelings, she says try to distract yourself.

---------- Post added at 14:06 ---------- Previous post was at 14:03 ----------

My fear is of neighbours making noise. For example DIY, socialising outside, children making noise even though I have a 10 year old daughter lol!!

[Forest]

Lilly whites i think the same and as much as I think its Daft I just cant seem to shake it off. I also have two Children who like to play out but I do tell them not to make too much noise. Wish I was not like this and have recently went to the docs and started Some Medication so hopefully that will help me settle down a bit when it kicks in.

[lilly_whites]

I dont know what the answer is, distraction, i go and walk my dog. I do feel like im going mad some days.

[anxiety70]

I am so glad I found this website. I have exactly the same problem as others who have posted. I hope we can all work together to help each other.

[Snoodlester]

This has happened to me recently. I've been living in my flat above the same neighbour for over 10 years. I've never really got on with them, and they barely say hello. But just after Christmas I got ill with 'flu or something, and as this kept me awake at night it suddenly switched on my panic mode. It's gotten so bad, I'm now thinking of moving in with my parents so I'm not at home on my own. My neighbours haven't done anything specific, I just suddenly have this distorted view of them being there. I'd be interested to find out if there's any help for this.

Sue x

[anxiety70]

Lillywhites and forest - I have exactly the same symptoms as you both. I worry about neighbours even though I have nothing to worry about. I am having CBT to find out the reason and I will post as soon as I kn8w more.

[KatieJayne]

This is my exact phobia. Unwanted noise, especially by neighbours. I've moved house because of this and I'm just the same in my new house! I had CBT, helped whilst I was having it and then nothing :weep: my neighbours aren't excessively noisy - just small bumps here and there!!!!!

[bluebottle]

Hello everyone. I have complex PTSD and I have talked about this with my therapist.
First of all, it is OK to acknowledge that the neighbours are annoying. Horrible people even. However, annoying doesn't equal "fear". So if you feel real fear then this may relate to your past where you felt threatened as a child and you feared abandonment or death. Your body remembers this and each time your horrid neighbours make a noise your mind/body remembers your childhood and you are right back there. So the fear itself is related to a past incident or incidents. How do you resolve this? Well I'm still working on it, but there is a technique called Dual Awareness where you acknowledge the fear, and at the same time you look around at where you are, so you bring yourself into the present, and you tell yourself you are safe and are not going to die.

Also Boots do a earplug that keeps water and noise out. These will keep almost all noise out. Wear them when things get too much. Good luck my dear friends.

[Lucys_mum9]

Hi everyone. It feels weirdly reassuring to know that other people feel like this. This fear of my teenage neighbours is beginning to really affect my life and I'm becoming irritable with my family. Anyone available for some support? :weep:

[Search_for_solutions]

Hi

[Excuse me for my poor English]

I have/had the same problem, which I feel coud be properly labeled as a sort of "phonophobia" (neighbours); in my case, things seemed to go worse and worse with time, with increasing anxiety and bit of depression. Didnt get much help from other more conventional solutions (useful for other people).

A few months ago I decided to start solving the whole problem "my way", by starting a virtual neighbourhood-sound-self-therapy, with no bad results. To summon up, I was able to create a few mp3 sound tracks which include a variety of clips such as voices, doors, squeaking chairs, and all the usual noises I feared at home (Tools: Audacity free sound editor, + free downloaded sound clips + records I managed to tape on my own).

.
Concrete results? Though still on course. I would say about 75% fear reduction; a significant higher tolerance to common life usual noises at home; and for the first time in many years a feeling that things could improve...

I thing it is a sort of self-administered virtual exposured therapy (desensitisation?) which has been quite effective in my case.

I would like to know related experiences of other members and, of course, I am ready to share with the "know-how" of this "technique". Please let me know of your efforts , if you are trying something similar.

By the way, I am a basic-level user of computers, with limited skills in this field. That seems to be enough for our purpose.

Best greetings from

"Search-for-solutions"

[kill em with kindnes]

Alot of the time if we have expectations that our neighbours are going to be a noisy nightmare then they are. We make our experience fit our expectation so try thinking the opposite. Just nice people, doing the best they can to live their lives, not "attacking" us with their sounds (better word than 'noise) and see how your mental state improves. I've had noisy neighbours on three separate occasions. I let it make me sick, drive me mad (clinically) I retaliated, got depressed, moved house, everything. The neighbours below me now are sweethearts, but guess what? I still think they slam their doors a bit too much and hey, they might, but at least now I know the real problem is my obsessive fixation with issues of control and past traumas than poorly soundproofed door jambs. How do I know this? Because look at the things happening around you that you don't get angry about. The sounds you like or the bliss of ear-plugged silence. What's the difference between them? We choose what we like and don't like which is great news because it means we can choose what we think. If we didn't have choice we'd be furious all the time about all the sounds happening somewhere all over the world that we couldn't hear. Right? Choose to think that all your neighbours are lovely people trying their best to be considerate and watch that anxiety fall away my lovelies...peace and love to all of you:yesyes:

[Chickierock]

This is amazing!!! It's not just me... Nobody seems to understand the fear I have of noise from my neighbours. Compared to our previous neighbours (who we moved away from), these are better; but when they are noisy, they are very noisy. The strange thing is that I seem to actually seek out these noises. Often no-one else in the house can hear them, perpetuating the idea that I am actually going mad.

I worry about it all the time. I have been to the doctors and have been prescribed Sertraline, but to be honest this hasn't had any effect at all. I just want to run away...

I really can't take it much longer.:weep::weep:

[bluebottle]

I have finally discovered that I am high-functioning autistic. This means you are sensitive to noise and light and infringement on boundaries etc. It doesn't mean I need antidepressants! Have you read up on autism by any chance? Anyway, I use Boots "aqu" earplugs and Peltor ear-defenders, depending on the noise. I also look for noise because the noise makes me afraid, and so I want to be in control of what my brain thinks is danger. It isn't danger. Yes it makes me afraid, but that is different. I get space when things are too bad. Walk my dog or go on my bike to somewhere peaceful.