calling all mums!

[chocoholic]

hi mums
thought i would ask if any mums feel the same as me.
I am 32 with a two year old son who is wonderful. But i am really struggling to deal with my anxiety and not let it affect him. (which i hate)
i rarely go out with him as i panic and worry something will happen to him if i pass out or worse! i want to do fun stuff with him but its hard. if he plays up i get upset.
this is a lovely time of year for children and im not making the most of it.
am i alone in this?

choco x

[marie1974]

hi matey im a mum to 2 boys 11 and 9 and a daughter 4 and i suffer anxiety, social anxiety and sometimes if i down i like to just stay in doors, but if i stay in for to long i start to feel agoraphobic, which is why i walk alot every day.

for me its a case of having to get on with it and i have good and bad days, but with 3 hyper kids i have to get out lol, i always feel guilty though that i should take them out more.

hugs to u xxx

[lennons_mammy]

I know exactly how you feel. I am 21 and have a two year old son. I suffer from agoraphobia and I worry all the time about how it is affecting him. I am housebound at the moment and the only way my son gets to go out is when his dad takes him out or his nana and grandad. I feel like a terrible mother right now because hes just stuck in the house all the time because of me. When my agoraphobia first began I became really depressed and I would cry or snap and tell him to be quiet if he played up but with the help of medication I am feeling alot better and I don't cry or snap anymore still get abit down though. You are not alone in how you feel if you need to talk I am here and I am sure there are others here who understand.

[pinkpiglet]

Hey Choco. SNAP! I too have a little boy, Ethan who turned two recently. Alot of my anxiety probably stems from the fact that I worry about been a good mum and making sure my little boy is well cared for. When I am feeling well i make sure that I do as much as I can with him, visits to the farm, play area's, ducks etc.. However, when I am feeling highly anxious I do not want to take him anywhere for the same reasons as you. My fears of passing out or getting worked up in public over ride everything.
I do try to do indoor activities with him such as painting, play dough, colouring or sticking. Because of his age his concentration isnt that spanned so after 15 to 20 minutes he as had enough (this is sometimes all I can manage to LOL). Do not beat yourself up, the fact that you are concerned about this proves that you have your sons best interests at heart and as a parent you cant do better than that.
If it helps, I have had zero tolerance with ethan today. My patience as been somewhat on the thin side & I have been extremely stresses and of course ethan as picked up on this and as played up even more. I have done nothing but moan and groan at him and he has been on the time out step a dozen times. I will feel so guilty for the rest of the day (as I have to go to work soon) but we are parents and we are only human so I guess I will get over it.
If you put aside a little time to read to your child or do a few jigsaws with him then it most than some parents do.

[loulii1]

hi choco im also a mum of a three yr old although i dont get social anxiety and dont have trouble goin out i often choose not to anyway as its too bloody cold lol id much rather stay at home and make funky xmas cards or xmas cakes r somthin as long as u spend time with ur child as pinkpiglett sed it dosent matter wether its out or not just stay relaxed at home an concentrate on gettin better for the summer wen hell wanna be out

[chocoholic]

thanks mums
I dont feel so bad now...i love my son more than anything but just feel im not making the most of my time with him sometimes. we do crafting and stuff too when at home. i worry i will not be here to see him grow up tho.
choco x

[pinkpiglet]

Hi Choco, do not start with these thoughts (about not been there to see him grow up). I get them too and it can drive me to tears but I have to push them right to the back of my head. I make scrap books of photos, memorable stories, poems and pictures that we have made together as I think that if anything does ever happen to me he will know how loved he was.
Arent us mums silly?

[chocoholic]

its the hardest job in the world! but the best!
thanks mums!
choco x

[EmmaJane]

Guilt towards my kids is my middle name. The eldest is 18 now and I feel I have done nothing with them. Youngest 2 are 5 and 6. I want to do more with them, but I find it really hard.

[SuzieQ]

Hi I just wanted to say I am in the same situation I have an 18month old son and i fear passing out when i am out. I try to take him out a couple of times a week but it is hard and sometimes i dont manage to. I know how u feel.

[eeyorelover]

Well I've raised 4 kids while dealing with the anxiety/panic and they all turned out fab!!
I have asked my daughter if she felt like she missed out on things because I was housebound for 4 years while she was little and she said that she didn't!
My kids all knew what I was going thru and supported me just as much as I did them and truthfully I think it's made them strong and independent young adults!
Don't worry hun!!
As long as you show him love and affection everything else basically takes care of itself!!!
xxx
Sandy