HeatherMc
03-12-08, 09:19
I have been off work for six weeks now and taking Citalopram manging to hold things together despite the horrible anxiety, depression, racing thoughts, early wakening, then being sleepy for the rest of the day, managing housework, washing cooking etc, managed some Christmas shopping in Liverpool thought I was doing ok and even thinking of going back to work in a couple of weeks and I guess I have been obsessing a bit about getting better.
But the last few days have been awful, I have been feeling very tired and staying in bed till midday as I felt as though I have been coming down with something. I hasten to add that I have been getting up at 7 to see my daughter is ready for school and she leaves the house at 7.45 and I have been getting back to bed and either reading or watching T.V.
Yesterday lying in bed I felt very dizzy and panicked I felt like I was going to pass out or something, the first thing in my head was its a stroke or anuresym or heart attack what if I die and my poor daughter is ill in bed in the next room, she will be terrified. I immediatly got a rapid heart beat (I knew I had given myself a fright) and the sweat was pouring out of me, I am terrified now. I have been waking up again through the night and becoming very tearful.
I am worried about getting through Christmas, worried about getting back to work, my husband has said that he cannot take no more of this and if I don't get back to work will have to split up and sell the house. I need to get back to work but I still feel like rubbish and I am terrifield of these attacks in work, I work in a hospital and would be so embarrassed. I cannot get a hold of myself when this is happening and think that I am about to die or pass out, I feel so ashamed for letting myself slide back into this and I know it is only me that can control it. Now I am lying in bed terrified crying my eyes out, I feel so stupid helpless and frightended.
Sorry for the long rant
Heather
But the last few days have been awful, I have been feeling very tired and staying in bed till midday as I felt as though I have been coming down with something. I hasten to add that I have been getting up at 7 to see my daughter is ready for school and she leaves the house at 7.45 and I have been getting back to bed and either reading or watching T.V.
Yesterday lying in bed I felt very dizzy and panicked I felt like I was going to pass out or something, the first thing in my head was its a stroke or anuresym or heart attack what if I die and my poor daughter is ill in bed in the next room, she will be terrified. I immediatly got a rapid heart beat (I knew I had given myself a fright) and the sweat was pouring out of me, I am terrified now. I have been waking up again through the night and becoming very tearful.
I am worried about getting through Christmas, worried about getting back to work, my husband has said that he cannot take no more of this and if I don't get back to work will have to split up and sell the house. I need to get back to work but I still feel like rubbish and I am terrifield of these attacks in work, I work in a hospital and would be so embarrassed. I cannot get a hold of myself when this is happening and think that I am about to die or pass out, I feel so ashamed for letting myself slide back into this and I know it is only me that can control it. Now I am lying in bed terrified crying my eyes out, I feel so stupid helpless and frightended.
Sorry for the long rant
Heather