Having a bad day!

[rocklover]

Hi all, the other day I posted that I thought I was having a relapse after returning from Florida. I started feeling better after that and have had a few really good days, however, today i am feeling really stressed.

I am just starting to look for jobs after quitting mine in Sept, and I am finding it all a little scary, even though I feel much better than I did a few months back.

I am also worrying constantly about my relationship of a year and think that I am not good enough for my partner. He has a very busy job and he is quite stressed by it, so as a result we are not seeing much of each other and he seems too have "cooled off" towards me a little. I am as supportive to him as I can be, but I feel guilty for being upset at the way things are because he works so hard and I don't even have a job! I love him so much, just really scared that he doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't know how I feel as I don't want to appear needy or clingy, so I just keep it inside. I seem to be waiting for him to end things with me, like it's a foregone conclusion.

Also, I am just about to complete my divorce, which has been a nightmare, and my husband treats me like an imbecile most of the time. To top all that off, my daughter and I live with my parents as I am broke and sometimes it all gets too much as I hate being dependent and I can feel myself being tetchy towards my Mum and Dad. We are a very close family, but often argue, my sister suffers from depression and I feel guilty for being even more of a burden on my parents with this stupid anxiety.

Christmas will also be dreadful as my daughter will be 80 miles away from me with her dad :weep:. I am sorry for rambling, but just feel so down today and I can feel my anxiety rising as I am beginning to feel more and more sick. Just wish i could fast forward to the new year and everything would magically become ok again.

[Liz_123]

oh rocklover,

don't feel so sad, it will all be ok. It is scarey job hunting but it's amazing that you are out there looking, shows you're making progress (that's what the doc just told me!). I was in a similar situation with an ex a couple of years ago, he was working and all i could do was get anxious, felt like a 'nightmare' girlfriend but I think we (anxiety sufferers) make things much worse in our heads then they really are. we build them up and up and don't say anything. Maybe you could try and spend some time with him and just ask him if he is ok? there is nothing needy about that.

Liz xxx

[rocklover]

Hi Liz, thanks for your reply. Most of the time I can talk myself out of feeling bad, like when I was in Florida had panic attacks and felt ill at all the theme parks, but pulled myself together for my daughter. I am proud of that.

Today I think I have just let things get on top of me, I feel really sorry for my partner because he hates his job and the company he works for are rubbish. I try to make him fel better whenever I can because he has been through mill in the last couple of years. But, selfishly I suppose, I just want him to take a mintue just to hug me and tell me that he loves me, I need a bit of TLC I think, but then don't we all. And to be fair he was really good when I was ill over the summer and after my breakdown. Am scared of losing him I guess.

Also I am due on next week, always feel low and ill when period is approaching. I am sure tomorrow will be a better day, I think I need to try and relax and have an early night tonight. Glad that you're making progress Liz, you sound like a very positive person. Thank you again.