Dependancy on others, any advice to fight the HA!

[SuzieQ]

Hello everyone, this is my first post since finding this site a few months back. I think I have HA because when I am unwell which seems to be more often than not with headaches, bad stomachs, colds, viruses my anxiety is at its worst. This causes me to feel almost completely dependant on wanting to be with someone I trust almost 24hrs a day! My fear is that I will, collapse, stop breathing and I have an 19month old baby so this makes me feel more under pressure so I rely on family to help out. I am on the verge of a panic attack all day but especially if I know i have to drive home alone or be alone for long periods without somebody close by to help in case i need it. Unfortunately of late this is becoming a little out of control, I order my food shopping online, avoid going out alone, avoid any situations where I can not escape etc. I am just so fed up and want my life back and I dont no the best way to do this as my anxiety seems to be getting worse. I am able to control it sometimes better than others but right now i dont seem to be able to get a grip and its making me so tired and miserable. I dont want to get meds, i would like to fight this mentally, docs have been no help and i would really like to try fight this myself. Please please can anyone offer some words of advice?? Thanks for reading this long post lol!!

Suzie x

[Ddcoo]

Hi Suzie, you are going through a horrible time right now, and you are aware that it is anxiety, it's a shame that you are not getting any help from your doctor, but if you want to beat this anxiety without medication, have you considered asking for counselling to find out why this is happening to you.
Also, a lot of us here have read the Claire Weekes books which you can get from the shop on this site, she is wonderful and explains how to cope with agoraphobia and a host of other symptoms.

I know it is difficult for you to go out, but if you could try to go a short distance each day it will help. The worst thing you can do is to give in to this fear of going out, there is nothing outside that will harm you, it is just young own mind telling you there is. I do know what it is like, I have been in the same position as you and I do understand. You need support during this time and understanding. Have you got local shops or a park near you where you could go with a friend just for a breath of fresh air each day, even if you only managed a short while for the time being.

Please try to get some help and also read the symptoms section of this site, it will tell you everything you need to know and how to cope.

I send you my best wishes, and do post again and tell us how you are getting on - there is always someone on here that will give you support.:)

[SuzieQ]

hi there, thanks for your reply, its nice to know that someone can take the time to try and help i appreciate that.

I will try the books that you suggest, perhaps you could tell me if you have managed to deal with your anxiety and do you think that we can ever recover or is it something we will have to live with forever. The annoying thing is that my mind has trained itself to act like this and i know all i have to do is change my thought patterns but as u prob know its not as easy as that is it or we would all do it :-). the hard thing about going out is that my head feels dizzy and also i feel more under pressure around friends as i cant escape quickly if i feel i need to, i would like to wake up one morning and say, wow im free of anxiety now!!!

Thanks again for your message x

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi suzie, i know what your going through i went through something similiar myself when my son was a baby. I would bath him quickly incase i died whilst holding him the only time he would get a decent wash was when my husband was there! When i think back its mad, i was scared to go out and even scared to take a bath myself! By the way my son is now 17 and nothing ever happened it was all in my head and i have to say i feel my son missed out on a lot coz of my thoughts , dont let that happen to you hon you never get those years back. DO one thing every day even if its really small like go and see one of your friends tell them its just a quick visit give yourself 5 mins say you gota go then leave and feel proud that you didnt panic then do it another time and next time give yourself 10mins and so on. Dont put yourself under any pressure always know you can escape from shops or whatever. Nothing is going to happen.. trust me! Paige x

[nickieb]

My advice as a sufferer is to try and continue your life as normal as poss. Work go out etc & don't dwell on it. as we all no that this can happen but you have to be strong and fight it xx

[SuzieQ]

Thanks all for your replies i have really taken on board your comments and will try my hardest to fight this and to just get on with things the best way I can. We all know its not easy though but nothing worth while is ever easy, I wish i knew what triggered all this! Take care everyone and thank you.