Is anyone else like this,,,when talking to people? [Archive]

aimee87

03-12-08, 23:16

alb99

03-12-08, 23:42

Hi Aimee, you sound exactly like me. I hate people looking at me full stop. I think my social anxiety should be called 'people looking at me phobia'. Some days I find it so hard just to put 2 words together, and like you I dread people talking to me at all if I'm having a bad day. My worry is that people are going to notice I'm dead anxious and 'weird' and that obviously makes it loads worse! I then get really upset and cross with myself for saying really stupid things or appearing really weird. The whole thing is so frustrating because you just can't relax and be yourself cos you're so worried all the time about what you're saying and how anxious and weird you look!

I felt I had to reply to you as my heart went out to you when I read your post, but I also felt a little bit more 'normal' knowing somebody else goes through the same things I do. In turn I hope you feel better knowing you're not alone.

Feel free to message me any time and we could maybe help each other x

Patty

04-12-08, 00:28

Hi Aimee87 & Alb99,:)

I can totally relate to the way that you describe how you feel when you are talking to other people.

I worry that I'll not be able to speak or take panic attacks in front of them and they'll notice that something is 'wrong' with me. I also find eye contact difficult. It can all be so annoying.

Best wishes xx :bighug1:

Lou17

04-12-08, 01:14

I agree, I too have these feelings. I get very agitated when its not for a short time, I bet I look quite cold sometimes, I have to leave the conversation when I get uncomfortable.

lilly-lou

04-12-08, 08:46

I feel the same too and I don't make eye contact that often either it makes me feel really uncomfortable so you are not alone its all part of the social phobia.

EmmaJane

04-12-08, 09:22

Me too for this one. I am exactly the same. Feel very self conscious and inferior in a way.

Sax

04-12-08, 11:03

:hugs: Hi Guys,

I just wanted to say a few things on this post because its exactly to the letter how I use to feel. Now don't switch off thinking 'oh someone saying yeah yeah I know how you feel when I don't' cos I honestly felt the same. I use to come here all the time mainly with social anx and depression. I've been on meds now since 1995 and only now reducing them. However, over that time I seem to have overcome the social anx part! I think its an identity crisis you have when you don't feel good enough or paranoid as to what others think of you! I've come to realise they don't think this at all in fact most people are more fussed about themselves than you so you are equal not inferior (although I appreciate this is how you feel). I don't remember the day when I felt ok to go into shops and actually speak to the assistant or give eye contact but it was gradual. If you are getting help by way of counselling or meds or both all I can encourage you is say it will come and not to worry so much about what they may be thinking about you cos they probably are thinking what they will cook for tea or things in their own lives and not about what you are saying.
Just rambling now but I hope you get what I mean...............:bighug1: I do appreciate how hard it is at the time though.

bakerefc

04-12-08, 14:49

Im Exactly The Same Nost Of The Time! But Sometimes I Get The Courage To Want To Talk To People If You Know What I Mean! Im Scared Incase People Think Im Being Stupid Or If I Get Words Wrong Because Im Trying So Hard To Please The Person! I Cant Look At Someone When There Talking I Have To Take Glimses Of Them In There Eyes Because My Eyes Go Blurey Because Of The Anxiety!!

freakedout

05-12-08, 10:11

Yeah thats me too.

I have crap eye contact when I am talking but if someone else is talking I can look at them, but then the more I look at them the more I think they are looking at me and thinking I am some kind of freak, or wierd. Then, if I am very anxious it sometimes becomes a bit surreal I think it is derealisation, or depersonalisation, things look and feel very strange. It is bizarre but I am used to it now.

Freaky

hoppipolla

06-12-08, 01:03

yeah i have it sometimes too!

but only sometimes, it's weird... i dwell on it from time to time and the more attention i get and eye contact in that particular session the more uneasy i can feel! hehe

I'm not sure what the solution is, but it's probably good not to try to avoid eye contact or anything like that :)

Do you have it with close friends/relatives too?

Keggit

13-12-08, 22:23

hello Aimee
I'm going through exactly the same. I'm absolutly petrified to talk to people, I just can't relax when i'm talking to someone , I have a problem to give an eye contact,I can't swallow, I start to blush , sometimes my hands start to shake, my heart is beating fast , I can get a massive anxiety attack in the middle of a conversation....all I want to do is to run away and I usually find an excuse and leave. Then I'm so angry with myself, I feel stupid, angry , humiliated and embarassed. I feel like everybody is thinking I'm such a looser and that I'm pathetic too.
I hate to feel this way ! Is this me for the rest of my life ?
Keggit

kel81

19-12-08, 22:44

Hi

I am totaly the same.
I'm from yorkshire and i live in shropshire and people struggle to understand me. I found that I had to repeat myself again and agin and sometimes I even felt that they would just laugh and nod when it wasn't appopriate to do so because they didn't understand what I said. So now, I try and not make conversation.
It's so difficult.

kel

JUDGEMENT

28-12-08, 23:15

Me too for this one. I am exactly the same. Feel very self conscious and inferior in a way.

I repeat in my mind the words,

'These are my equals'

Gives me a real little boost that keeps my head level when I feel like I'm in a sticky situation.

phoennixxs11

09-01-09, 19:04

Hey, this forum is like coming home ha ha ha, i SOOO get how your feeling, i also used to feel like this, it started for me like a bolt out of the blue. I was at work (in a very busy service station) i LOVED my job, it was like a social event chatting to the regular customers etc, then one day a guy who i served hundreds of times before said something to me and i must have blushed, i say must have because i never knew i were. And he made a really big deal about it, he started taking the mick and showing me up in front of the packed shop. Since that day i've never been the same, i went home that evening and dwelled on it all night and since have developed 'social anxiety' i have sought all sorts of therapy CBT, hypnotism, beta blockers and now sertraline, its morphed into general anxiety now but the meds are helping loads. Don't blush too much now but if i do i try not to beat myself up about it. Its a dark road but find the right method to treat it and it will ease eventually!!

Phoennixxs xxx

Huntj

09-01-09, 19:33

I know exactly where you are coming from......I used to be very social.....giving presentations, training sessions with my work, travelling all over the country......but now I struggle to leave home let alone talk to anyone while I am away from home.....AND when I do speak to people I talk such garbage....or better still get obsessed and talk a subject to death!

I am living in a new country, since arriving in the US I have had real problems keeping friends due to my anxiety / phobias

You are not alone!

Katy1977

11-01-09, 14:05

Hi,
I get these feelings also , I find it hard to talk to people, because I'm scared of saying something stupid, I find it hard to make eye contact when talking to people, because I fear they can see that I panic when this happens.
Sometimes with my work I have to do training courses, I spend the whole of the day worrying , because I don't want them to ask me things, so I have to talk publicly, my heart races at the thought of all the eyes looking at me.

MissChampers

13-01-09, 14:10

Me too for this one. I am exactly the same. Feel very self conscious and inferior in a way.

Me too..If i'm engaged in a one to one conversation I start to think that I might panic which then actually brings it on and I have to get away quickly.

no-fear

14-01-09, 21:57

I used to get that all the time. I used to always feel lower in status than everyone else and that everyone was better than me. The thing that I have discovered that has really help me (apart from anti-depressants) is C.B.T and have been using it all the time to counter the negative thoughts that I have in social situations.

rgb76

14-01-09, 22:26

Hi

I feel exactly the same too. I can trace back to exactly when this started. I was working silly hours in a care home, (if you please!) as an Asst.manager. I was speaking to my boss the morning after a sleep-in-when as usual sleep was limited. I was speaking to her, like giving a handover, when I had a pounding heart and thought what the hell is happening to me. I must've been so, so tired as with a new baby as well at home so wasn't having complete sleep at home(but wouldn't have changed that for the world as becoming a dad is the best thing I've ever achieved!). A

nyhow, when I then had to do handovers to staff I was aware of myself and situation became unreal. This has progressed even though I'm now a Care home manager. If I have to have a meeting I get so worked up about it and mull it over, though am trying to relax and breathe through this. I also think I suffer from S.A.D. as winter especially Jan and Feb are difficult for me as the anxiety lessens a bit in the Spring/Summer.

Has anyone recovered from this or just learned about themselves and how to deal with it? I wish I was like I used to be when I could talk more freely but I think there is also some low self- esteem in there too where I am comparing myself unfavourably with others around me.

Anyhow, thanks for reading this, tomorrow is another day!

rgb

freedomfighter

14-01-09, 23:31

Yes, I have the same thing, but I have noticed that it's not the same with all people.

Some people are natural 'starers' and look you hard in the eye with hardly a break, and that's really hard to deal with, but others will glance away naturally, or talk without looking directly at you, which is much better!

Duckie

14-01-09, 23:50

Yes I do that too.

Parkerchu

16-01-09, 16:04

I have been sufffering with alot of the things mentioned here for a few years now and understand entirely what you are going through. I went through a stage were I could no longer look at people in the eyes (mainly my friends) and one by one I began to lose touch with them and felt very inferior and pretty depressed! But without medication and a little therapy I managed to slowly confront these irrational fears.

Sometimes it helps to have a fresh start in life, a new challange! In my case I got a new job, and yes I struggled in the interview but I knew I had to face this fear as they are only thoughts afterall! A couple of months into my new job I began to forget what I feared and slowly began to lead a normal life!

I dont struggle with eye contact often now but I still tend to avoid certain social situations. I've got this irrational fear of speaking to the opposite sex now which is weird, and very frustrating but I feel in time I will beat this, I just have to stay positive and try not to overdo the avoidence thing!!

phoennixxs11

17-01-09, 21:21

rgb76, its mad isn't it, or maddening more precisely. Your rational mind tells you its silly and its just a blip as you were fine before, but the anallytical part is screaming at you "Ooooo tricky situation, your gonna fail this one" and suddenly you become aware of everything your saying, doing and how your acting to the point where i'm no longer aware of what people are saying to me, then i believe i'm acting weird! This is my experience anyway.

tayside lassie

17-01-09, 21:24

i do that on days when im not so good ..even with my own family ..

horrible feeling ...

velvet_diamonds

18-01-09, 00:05

I feel exactly the same. In some situations I could talk the hind legs off a donkey but only when im put in a position where im not looking at that person and they dont have to look at me - for example when im a passenger in a car talking to the driver. I mess up my sentences if someone looks at me when talking and I plan out virtually every conversation I initiate first (that's if I do ever initiate conversation, these days its a rarity as im so anxious)

I work as model and believe it or not in front of the camera I am like a totally different person that's full of positivity. When im in normal situations I am a wreck and don't think it helps that people expect me to be vivacious and uber-confident because of the industry I work in and the way I look. I'm also at univeristy and in my first year I didn't have any problems giving presentations. Then just before Christmas I blacked out in the middle of presenting something.

I don't really have any tips as Im struggling every day but please remember that you're not alone.

rgb76

18-01-09, 00:20

Yeh, Phoenixxs11, yeh totally agree, can be talking away and then suddenly I think oh I haven't started to feel anxious and then it could start up and then I lose track of what I'm saying and just have a conversation with ,myself..'come on' etc... which sometimes works but other times doesn't

I think as well when I'm sensitised to this in a particular situation poeple's voices can seem so LOUD! I also find it difficult when different poeple are talking at the same time.. that I just want to escape.

Good to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this

thanks

rgb76

sarah peacock

29-01-09, 22:35

I feel like this all of the time and it's really awful, i can't make eye contact for very long and get really on edge when someone is looking at me for a while also i feel asthough i cant speak properly especially when i try to pronounce my S's i get all muddled up lol xxx

nikkipops

06-02-09, 15:18

It depends who I'm talking to, but I get very shaky and sweaty if I'm scared of being judged. It happens in classes at uni, with people who might be marking me, my boyfriend's mum... It's not irrational, because I'm sure people do judge the things I say in certain situations, but I hate the thought of that.

Nikki

Off The Wall

14-02-09, 00:31

I can’t stand people looking at me let alone talking. When I see people looking at me for to long I get so scared they are going to come and talk to me. I hate when people beep at you in cars!! I hate when cars pull over right near you and I’m like omg omg omg they are going to talk to me.. and they just happen to live at that house haha. I’m like so relieved when they walk into the house. I use to dress and looking nice - well as nice as I could possibly look and make an effort. But now I dress so daggy, I never do my hair nice, I never wear any make-up it’s like I want to look ugly to everyone so they don’t look at me. I mean who wants to look ugly? It’s so silly.

But I know as soon as someone starts a convo up with me its going to end in 2seconds. I had this guy talk to me the other day he’s so funny it took him and his friend like months to say hello I actually said hello first weirdly enough and then one day they stopped and talked to me.. and its like hi so where abouts do you live around here? And then it was like oh cool… ummmmmm……*smile at each other* Umm cool convos ended.. and his like ok well bye.. haha. Its so lame I had no clue what to ask him?. What am I suppose to say I just answered what he asked me? I knew where he lived so I couldn’t ask the same thing lol. I was going to ask him what he did workwise or something but then I knew he would ask me and I’d have to say um nothing? I don’t work I just panic for a living? Lol.

the first hello how are you is usually ok its just after that where i freak out cause i know this convo is going no where and i'm so boring and have nothing to add. And i take so long to get to the point when they ask questions, i'm so nervous i stutter badly i think im getting to the point then i'm totally not and then i'm stuck and have no idea how to get out of what i was trying to say lol. Plus i don't have anything to ask them either to keep the focus on them not me. Cause at that moment it time i couldn't care less who they are or what they do i just wanna get out of here. i have no interest in them what so ever...

sometimes i lie and pretend i work and that i go out all the time and then i end up feeling really bad and it makes my anxiety worse cause i hate lieing.. but i can't very well say no i do nothing because i have this social anxiety disorder and talking to you right now is making me feel like i'm going to die and i'd really love to run away? haha. Wonder how that would go down???

hm anyway thats long enough sorry for raving on about myself in your post..

Gettinghappier

27-02-09, 00:36

Keggitt! Reading your post I laughed because those are my exact reactions!!! The swallowing one is the worst right? You sit there and you think, " Oh God, I have to swallow, but I don't want to swallow yet, Oh no I am going to swallow, oh it is going to be really loud which will make them think I am really weird to be swallowing in such a strange way...this increases the desire to fight swallowing, which of course only serves to want to make you swallow more...oh it goes on doesn't it?

I know what the root of it is in my case and am hoping to work on it with CBT. I hope to quieten it right down one day but realize it's going to take some time to undo my usual thoughts/reactions and replace them with healthier ones. What's nice about coming on here is that you spend most of your life thinking you are alone and then suddenly you realize that we are only human and many of us have some issue or other.

To an outsider for example I come across as really confident, outgoing, adventurous and fearless .....how funny is that? That is completely not true but I am working on it to make it so ;)

xx

Gettinghappier

27-02-09, 00:42

Also the eyes. Some of my friends who are truly confident I have no problem conversing with. But it's almost like I am a dog (no I do no think I am a dog ha ha) or something whereby if I sense even the slightest bit of fear/insecurity in someone it brings on my anxiety even more....does anyone else get this?

soulboydk

01-01-10, 11:40

I have had this feeling on and off for years, and its a terrible way to feel expecially I have found when I have a good day and am quite chatty, then anotherday if I go into that shop or something and try to talk to the same person in the same relaxed way. I just have to plan when the mood is ok and able to talk the same. I find I am getting better with small talk and opening a chat but if some people seem to take over the chat or have a better idea about somethings. Then I feel very inferiour and unable to feel I am worthy of my points of view I feel put down and terrible. I feel threatened and horrible. I just can't cope with my way of seeing and doing things always seemed invalid by others as they seem to think there idea is best. I also dislike when it when I discuss subjects and feel my point is of no value. And then when I hear there point I fell of no value. maybe because I cant think about another way or I don't have the head knoledge of subjects very often. It also feel like I have a weak idenity inside me from childhood. Any one know what I mean... but I will still press on to have chats with people. Happy new year 2010

tequesta81

01-01-10, 18:05

Hiya Aimee,

I too get the same symptoms, I struggle to make eye contact even though I do make myself as well as actually talkin to people, but most times this back fires and I end up stutterin and starin or goin the other way and my eyes flicker x
I then feel the panic risin within me and then worry people are pickin up on it x

M x

carter

02-01-10, 22:31

i thought i would join in this thread as i get the same feelings really bad too.... its been really bad the past 3 months, but i think i have always had them...

normally on good days im bouncing off the walls but i think i overdo it sometimes...but hey its nice be normal again

however on bad days going to the shops buying some milk is a nightmare....im a pretty rational person so i know they are only feelings but bloody hell... how feelings can completely disable you i will never know....i hate it when your having these horrible feelings and you feel like people are judging you and that they can see you losing the plot inside...i feel like when im talking to someone that im a gibbering stuttering mess...however the wired thing is im not....

but i suppose you gotta stick with it ive been off work since the 15th october and im going back on the 18th jan to be fair im dreading it... if i could just get paid my wages and not work i would be a happy man...

i lucky i have a really supportive partner but its such a strange illness to explain to people....ive been to family meals over the chrismas period ...inside im scared to death you would think i was in front of a firing squad......i always say to my other half after bloody hell that was a nightmare...and she always goes really you looked fine to me like your back to your normal self again....however this has given me the little boost i needed so even though i feel like im a gibbering mess i pretty/semi confident that they cant see it...so im pretty much out and about even if i feel like crap....and the meds are helping as the feelings are not so overpowering....

sorry for the rant...but i hope someone else can relate to this :blush:

fishman65

03-01-10, 15:18

Oh yes Aimee I feel like that for sure.They are common symptoms of social anxiety unfortunately,feeling like we are being studied and very conscious of our own feelings/appearance/actions etc.Cognitive behavioural therapy can help with this.

Take care, Fishy

fishman65

03-01-10, 15:25

carter

03-01-10, 20:16

I can relate to this definitely Carter,it could have been me writing that post of yours,and I'm sure a lot of other people on this site could too.

Take care now, Fishy

cheers matey...hope ur well

its a strange old illness.....however im getting better as its more of a pain in the arse than the end of the world now.....lol and im pretty sure no matter how bad im feelin i can manage to get through the day at work.....lets see eh....when about 50 people come over to my desk and ask how i am....yes i know they only mean well...but from an anxiety suffers point of view..... its going to be the test of tests....lol

wish me luck :blush:

04-01-10, 17:07

Yep, definitely can relate to this. I only recently became aware I was not directly looking at people when talking to them. The thing with me, I get more worked up about the fact that other people notice it. Because i notice it when people's eyes wander when I'm talking to them (I mean like family & close friends - people I'm comfortable talking to in the first place), so I think other people must notice it with me. I make a conscious effort now to look directly at people but find myself concentrating so much on making eye contact that I end up not concentrating on what I'm saying and start stuttering and sounding like an idiot.

idk, it seems so much easier for everyone else I talk to, like they can talk so naturally to people and it's constantly an effort for me.

daverc82

05-01-10, 21:13

Hi, im dave im 27, an from a town called burnham in somerset. I can relate too this phobia too my main problem is social anxiety, if im feeling like i look ugly i just dont wanna be out in public an be seen..but then i get days where i feel good about myself an its not as much of an issue, but i knows avoiding just makes it harder next time. So im seeing a theripist an he says to start off small an gradually work your way up..im working on it at the moment..its not easy i know but things DO an will get better with our social anxiety! :). Walking in the highstreet i still dont like, an supermarkets an shoppingmalls are the biggest thing for me..i can go there but on a bad day dont think i could face it yet, but working on that!, anyways, i know il be here for extra support an maybe we could support eachother along the journey to recovery! :D

speak to you all soon

dave x

cardcraft

09-01-10, 18:13

Can relate to what most people have said - I have no self confidence,self esteem and low self worth which just makes the whole social phobia worse, I just want to blend into the background,I dont want anyone to notice me....Ive always dressed in black...which for me makes me blend in.
I dont want to be at home alone,shut in with no friends but Ive made myself this way and I so want to change - this just isnt a life anymore,I just get by,survive...just - and thats that really

Lion King

09-01-10, 21:21

Hi There,

Just by your last paragraph you are making your life change! I see life as the past is what it is, you cannot change that, you can change what is in front of you, don't let judgement from others/society stop you being the person you want to be. I suffered all the same, I didn't change the way I looked but i chnaged my outlook and mindset for a positive one, with this I can take challenges in life on, even if I fail I learn by it and move on without judging myself badly (I didn't use to!). I watched a cheesy film the other day, it was yes man with Jim Carrey, I found the profound message really good, watch it you will enjoy it.

Life can change, only you can do it!!!

Keep positive and live life to the full!

All the Best LK x

Pinkangels

10-01-10, 10:28

Yep, I can relate to this.
im so naff at holding any kind of conversation. just cant do it I get completely mind blank, and overly obsess about "what shall I say or talk about...think, think, think...." Then nothing comes out.

Or if someone asks me something, i will reply, but keep it short so I dont have to have the attention on me, in case I say something daft.

Or this is my classic. I will say something, that they then misunderstand, and the conversation turns into some sort of lie, because rather than correcting the misunderstanding -that you caused in the first place, you just carry on the flow (then get all confused, and want to make a sharp exit lol) arghhh!

I am kida ok at saying hello to people if I pass them, like at school run. Or I may say the odd sentance in passing. But I cant do the whole, lets meet up, sit down and have a nice ol' chinwag :scared15:
So wish I could do it tho.

charlotte83

10-01-10, 12:40

I can relate although I don't even know if this is my anxiety or just me as i have always been crap socially. Weirdly, I kind of like one to one converstaions or small groups, but I couldn't tell a story of something that happened to me or a joke etc in front of a big group, because I hate loads of people staring at me all at once. I get all anxious and self conscious and then forget what I'm saying which just makes me look weird. Then I go away and totally analyze everything I said or did and just feel like a complete idiot for even trying. I can keep eye contact but sometimes I feel awkward and look away. We definitely over think!
Sometimes I want to say things but over analyze how they will sound so much that by the time I have decided to say them, the convos moved on and I don't bother! I also think I unerve people because I'm shy, but at the same time really open and will start talking about how I feel and stuff which some people find a bit intense, I don't do that with everyone though.
Anyway, I think we all worry far too much and probably nobody notices things as much as we think. Also a lot of people have insecurities underneath, its human nature, some more confident people are just better at hiding it. Keep going and don't give up :)

Redrainbow

10-01-10, 12:47

Yes your not on your own there. I feel exactly the same. Do you also find somedays are worse than others. Somedays i just want to sit indoors and not talk too or see anyone. But i wonder if the isolation just makes it worse, as it builds up a barrier. I also always end up saying something stupid when i do talk.

cardcraft

10-01-10, 15:11

I do think the isolation thing makes things worse but we do that so we dont have to face what we hate - Im becomming a recluse (sorry about the spelling) Ive pushed everyone away and Im even doing it to my husband and then wonder why we have a crap relationship and Ive got no friends!

Lion King

10-01-10, 19:15

Hi there,

Overthinking is the biggest problem, it led me to be insecure, paranoid, edgy, low self esteem, low self worth and low self confidence. When I was anxious about meeting new people I would make excuses not to get involved and end up recluse and on my own, I used to look for negativity in people before I gave them a chance as I basically didn't trust anyone as I thought people just wouldn't like me. This happened to me over a few years when I moved to a new area, my relationship was poor so sociably this made the settling even harder. The more time I spent not getting to know people the more withdrawn I became, this created a downward spiral of anxiety and nerve problems and in the end I couldn't hold a conversation. At this point I knew I needed to get some help, if I continued I would destroy all things around me so I neededto change my life. I saw a gp and got medication and had cbt therapy, in time I have become more sociable but I had to do this only when I was physically and mentally ready, if I went in too soon I would take a massive set back as I hadn't learn to relax the anxiety properly, with practice of meeting with small groups I learned to relax, as I felt more comfortable I would take the next step and joined a local club where I met new people and made new friends. In all I had 2 months of isolation and time off work before taking these steps of interaction, it was a dark place and I did lots of research and soul searching but eventually things just clicked into place and I was able to move on (I had seen the light!).

It takes time to be the person you want to be, but the only way I saw through these bad times was to set manageable targets, get comfortable and move onto the next and keep learning and keep positive all the time. I am 12 months on, I still suffer bouts of anxiety but nowhere near as bas as it was, I am still learning all the time so the battle stil continues.

Keep Well everyone I hope some of these words help out!

LK

cardcraft

11-01-10, 08:24

Thanks LK...I certainly have found your words very helpful x

snakie_87

12-01-10, 12:37

with you totally honey, i got to the point where i was getting drunk just to be able to face people. i struggle to get out opf bed in the morning knowing that i will have to be talk to other people! sleeping is so underrated! no one can harm you while you sleeep! so if you've got any ideas?

Lion King

13-01-10, 21:39

I used to drink when meeting new people, but the problem was that I would be that nervous that I would rush my drinks down and get blathered really quickly, Not the best idea when you end up throwing up all over (in their house, very embarassing!).

It takes time to settle the anxiety, it just takes time and alot of positive affirmation to get out of this horrible hole, for me the anxiety still exists but I have managed to bury it until I forget it exists (if that is possible!)

shoegal

17-01-10, 04:08

I also have problems in social situations. I used to think I had agoraphobia but over time I have come to realise that it is the social aspect of going out and not actually 'going out' that is the problem. I am fine shopping etc... but I am reduced to jelly in the queue and at the checkout because I worry about how I will appear to others if they see me having a panic attack. I used to be an Avon lady but I found it so difficult when people were nice to me and tried to chat to me. I would get in such a state that in the end I had to give it up! How mad is THAT? For me I think it is the feeling of being trapped, the feeling of not being able to get away and the feeling of embarassment that they 'might' see me panic. It's a vicious circle - the fear of panicking in fron of people makes me panic in front of people!

This has affected my whole life. I don't go out, I don't see my friends anymore, and I can't even go shopping by myself anymore. It's a miserable existance really. :weep:

brady

21-01-10, 15:37

I get this too, sometimes i would say something and think it was stupid then my face would go red and i would look away from the person and start thinking the worst of things. So i try and avoid convos with people i dont know. When i have a few drinks i find it easier to open up and have a decent convo with someone

STEPHYUNO

21-01-10, 16:53

Hi Aimee, I have experienced this and still do at times so please don't feel too bad, you are not alone and not strange.
I used to get that a lot in my early twenties, and just like you said, felt a bit silly, panicky and embarressed. The truth is people are generally too caught up in what you think of them and their own worries to even notice really, so hold on to that truth.As it is your own thoughts and worries, it seems consuming, but just look around you next time you are in a shop or bump into someone and remember that they have the same kind of stuff running through theyre heads too and will be hoping they don't make a fool of themselves, no matter how calm and confident they may appear.
Beleive in yourself, trust yourself and love yourself, Stephen x

catchthepigeon

24-01-10, 03:36

Its crazy, I suffer from the same avoidance with eye contact and a heightened sense of self awareness, blushing, feeling sweaty etc when anyone talks tome. This has gradually got worse and worse to the point where I avoid as much as possible even my best mates and family.

It is also ruining my relationship with my girlfreind as we dont go out to socialise anymore or even to the pictures or for meals and is holding me back from working.

I have recently developed a panic about driving on the car with anyone, I feel trapped and forced to make conversation but do not want to talk. Yet on my own in the car I am fine.

I have gone from mr confident to a recluse is about 2-3 years. I used to be life of the party, now I just dread getting invited and make any excuses up possible.

I am desperate to get back to my old self but I refuse to go to the doctor as I panic about sitting in the waiting room.

If anyone has any advise, it would be most welcomed as this has destroyed my life and it just keeps getting worse and worse.

shoegal

27-01-10, 03:53

I even get panic attacks when talking on the phone. :weep:

NotResponding

31-01-10, 16:06

hi, yep i get like this. hehe! I walked really fast to reduce chances of bumping into someone that knows me. Hey, you can be at ease in the knowledge that its hardly visible to others, it may be somewhat visible but nowhere near as much as your feeling.
;)

Joonyer

15-02-10, 21:08

Hello,,,
I find when im talking to people i get so anxious i feel i have to look away and feel like an idiot,,,the longer the conversation the worse it gets especially if there looking at me for a long period of time,,,and i seem to think everything i say is stupid and that there thinking that,,,then i feel as if im going to have a panic attack and that they can tell. Its now at the point where sometimes if im out i just hope no one talks to me so i dont have to feel awkward.
Does anyone else get like it to this extent?
aimee

Man it's creepy how many posts in this thread are EXACTLY like me. I spent YEARS thinking I was a total freak because of being so self-analytical in every situation. Even now, when I say anything to anyone, I go over it in my head about 50 times afterwards, analysing it from different angles to see if I sounded stupid or anything.

I also convince myself that my mouth is too small, or I get worried about how young I look, which then makes me go red and clearly uncomfortable, which fuels it even more!

Trust me you are NOT alone and I wish I had an answer for you other than the fact that most people are far too busy to worry about judging you, and the ones who are judging you are generally not the sort of people you want to associate with anyway.

Regards
Matt