Steph's world of constant panic!

[stephe26]

Hello, brand new to this web site.:winks:

My name is Steph and i am 25 years old. I started to suffer from anxiety about 6 months ago. I do not think the pressure of working as a nurse has helped me. I worked on a very busy medical ward, which is also a very depressing place to be. I think the stress of my job first started me off.

About three months ago i was offered the chance to go away with my boyfriend for two months. Had un paid leave from work. At first i thought it was a great idea, my relationship was not fab but thought two months together would be great. OH HOW WRONG WAS I.

I have been back from holiday now nearly one week and should still be there now, i came back early.

Oh and on holiday my boyfriend was very un supporting to my needs if i was feeling a little anxious. Every day i felt scaried and worried. This got much much worse. My last week on holiday i was not sleeping, the fear of dying in my sleep, also the fear i was having a fit as i would wake myself up shaking! My boyfriend would leave me alone.Oh lots and lots of things i could mention!

I feel like i am blaming him for how i am now, but i am not i blame myself in some ways. I look back now and never should have gone away for two months as i needed to be in a safe environment with family and friends.

I feel since getting back i am much better. But still i feel in a constant daze not fully with it ? Jet Lag or lack of sleep. Slowing catching up on my sleep but still have this fear of dying or of having a seziure.

I feel this tighness in my neck only on the left side? Then when i feel that i started to really worry and feel i need to go the doctors. It does not help being a nurse i always seem to think the worse.

Oh and another thing my boyfriend knew i was very anxious about flying home alone and he refused to fly home with me. Had a massive apnic attack on plane and thought i was dying!

Feel like i am blaming him again, think i have come to the conclusion he has just not supported me in the way i needed him to be.

Be really good to hear from other people.

Steph x

ps Hope that made some sense?

[andie73]

Hi Steph,

I think that you will find this site very helpful, welcome :welcome: .

I think you are doing a very stressful and demanding job, it is no wonder that you feel it could be contributing to your stress. Are you working for the NHS? I do, though not on the medical side, I am ancilliary staff. You could approach occupational health as I got counselling through them and very quickly. It may help you to learn to deal with your panic attacks.

It was very unconsiderate of your boyfriend to treat you like this, though if you have not experienced panic attacks I suppose it is difficult to understand. Nevertheless he could have done so much more to help you.

I'm sure that the more you learn and understand panic and anxiety the more you will be able to live with it. And you said you thought you were dying on the plane......well you are still here!!!! You survived, so take courage from that cos no matter how awfiul panic attacks are ( Bl**dy awful I know), they are NOT dangerous. You will NOT die from a panic attack.

Take care

[stephe26]

Hello Andrea,

Thank you for such a nice message. Yes i work for the NHS i have tried there counselling before i went away and it did help. But a friend of a friend has suggested some one else to try meant to be very good (am hoping gor a quick fix - but not sure it will cure that easy, here is hoping). As i am worrying myself about going back to work next friday and not coping, having these attacks and feeling strange all the time.

Steph xx

[andie73]

Hi Steph

Unfortunately there are no quick fixes with anxiety and panic attacks. If there were I'd have been cured years ago !!!! Are they understanding at work??? I have found that at my work place they are very good. I've found that telling people when I'm feeling anxious or in the middle of an attack really helps too. Not that I can hide it mind cos my face goes bright red!!!! It's amazing though when you get chatting to people how many people around you suffer from them too, or have done in the past.

Try not to worry about going back to work though, you're in the right place lol!!!! Though that's never a comfort to me as I am hospital phobic....dunno how I ended up working in one. It's typical of me, I never take the easy route!!!!

PM me any time you fancy a chat, would love to hear from you.

:flowers:

[stephe26]

Hi Andrea,

Hoping work shall be understanding, would have thought so with them being nurses! I am going to see my ward manager on Monday to discuss how i am. I know getting back to work will do me the world of good. Getting back into a 'normal' routine.

I think half the time i cause myself to have attacks as worry too much and do not allow myself to chill out and relax.

Even get in a state having a bath, get carzy ideas that i am going to faint in the bath. Also when i feel i am relaxing i worry about that cause it now does not feel normal to be ab able to relax. The cycle goes round and round!

Steph xx :yesyes:

[pooh]

hi there and wlecome along to NMP

Pooh x