worse time ever

[george08]

I have just spent a week abroad with family and i freaked out all holiday! my partner has had enough of me getting him to check my moles and asking if he can feel any lumps here there and every where! I was freaking out over every thing! even crossing the street and on the plane! if i dont sort my self out then i fear he is going to leave me! i have got my self depressed over this and just feel like walking away and hiding from the world. can any one help.

[melvin]

hi its very hard for partners to understand what we go through so ask him to be patent with you while you are going through a bad patch

[RosieXXX]

Hi George,

Really sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Limit the number of times you allow your partner to feel for lumps etc. otherwise you end up transferring all your checking behaviour on to him. You have to work hard with this, with a good amount of willpower. Ask him if he could just check you twice a week, or whatever he is comfortable with to begin with, and then work towards reducing the number of times. Meantime try to reassure yourself with the fact that he has checked - only a short time ago - and everything was perfectly normal - no change - nothing to worry about. Do not check yourself in between times because there is absolutely no need; you will only be feeding the anxiety and making yourself feel a whole lot worse. All the best