Why am I feeling this way?

[GG1986]

Tomorrow we are supposed to be going as a family to visit my sister 120 miles away but I really don't want to go, we've had a recent family bereavment and I just want to be at home to rest and have some peace. Now the trouble is I can't stay home alone because I know that as soon as my parents shut the door I'll have a panic attack. I don't understand why I am feeling anxious about the visit though...I understand the not wanting to go after the bereavment part but why am I having such a big anxiety attack about going? I've been on 40 mg of Citalopram for two months now and I don't feel they are helping me....I want to be strong enough not to rely on my family and to be able to stay home alone but that feels so far away...feeling so trapped and sad tonight.

[hope&faith]

hi, im the same. usually i dont mind being alone, but since my anxiety has come back i feel funny about going places. i dont know why. im better the last few days and can go out some places. but its knocked my confidence again because i keep thinking what if i feel funny. not really scared of panic attacks no more, as i can control them, but keep coming over feeling scared for no reason. its more than a scared feeling its weird like its not me. i mean i dont feel myself. does the thought of death scare you?. because usually when im well im not to bothered about death, but at the moment it gives me a weird feeling, and hospitals. the other day a man fell over and cut his head open and it made me feal eire. can you relate? im also on citalopram, i thinks its gradually helping, i mean my physical symptoms have calmed down, but when i first started taking them i used to get a horrible overwellming fear of doom, like felt really suicidal, and never felt like that before. x

[jenny123]

hi, im the same. usually i dont mind being alone, but since my anxiety has come back i feel funny about going places. i dont know why. im better the last few days and can go out some places. but its knocked my confidence again because i keep thinking what if i feel funny. not really scared of panic attacks no more, as i can control them, but keep coming over feeling scared for no reason. its more than a scared feeling its weird like its not me. i mean i dont feel myself. does the thought of death scare you?. because usually when im well im not to bothered about death, but at the moment it gives me a weird feeling, and hospitals. the other day a man fell over and cut his head open and it made me feal eire. can you relate? im also on citalopram, i thinks its gradually helping, i mean my physical symptoms have calmed down, but when i first started taking them i used to get a horrible overwellming fear of doom, like felt really suicidal, and never felt like that before. x



I can totally relate to the death part,i too am not bothered when well but when ill it nags at me,i feel like something is in control of me and also start thinking along the lines off "whats the point of today if you can die tomorrow" I suddenly think how fragile we really are and that there does not seem to be much point to our exsistance..
sorry thats a bit dark,but you defo are not alone matey
xx