Psychiatric hospitals?

[davidthegnome]

I don't usually post anymore, because today I suffer a lot more from depression than from anxiety. But I remember well that the people I have known here have been extraordinarily kind, supportive, and intelligent. I need advice about something, from someone other than my Father.

Over the last month, on two occasions I've gotten very drunk. Hard alcohol, rum, brandy, vodka, whiskey. It's rare for me because I've never been much of a drinker at all, a light-weight, and up until the last year I could count on one hand the number of times I've been severely drunk.

On both occasions I became hysterical. I ranted and raved about how lonely, how unhappy I was, how useless I was and how much I hated my life. One of those occasions was last night. I lost all control and sense, called my Mother where she works as a supervising nurse at the hospital, called my 18 year old sister. Told them both I'd had it with life. (Understand, I am not suicidal as I write this)

One of them called the authorities and a state police officer with a big gun came into the house. He was a nice man fortunately, and somehow I ended up telling him my whole life story while he just sat and nodded. He eventually left me at home in the care of my sister... poor kid, 18, shouldn't have to deal with her lunatic 24 year old bro.

My father heard about it all today before he got home from a trip downstate at around 11:30. He is telling me that he knows of a hospital up here in Maine (in the USA) called Spring Harbor. A psychiatric hospital. He tells me that they could help me get off of the medications I've been on for ten years - zoloft, and xanax for closer to three years.

He says that the way I live my life is ruining me, I rarely go anywhere, spend almost all of my time in my little bedroom at home, drink too much soda.. smoke too much, spend nearly all of my time online. I've been that way for years now.

The problem is that I do not trust psychiatrists or psychiatric institutions. I know of their education, their training, specifically, because for a time I was interested in it myself. I know that here - the local psychiatrist charges 350 dollars an hour for an appointment, and if you have no health insurance like me you have to pay the full free up front before the appointment.

I know that they prescribe psychiatric drugs as if they were candy. Prozac, zoloft, xanax, ativan, citalopram, diazopram, paxil, effexor, and a multitude of others. I know that a great deal of Americans are addicted to these drugs. I know that there is no scientifically proven theory behind the science. Simply theories... to this day, they cannot determine via any medical test whether or not you have a phsyical chemical imbalance.

I am afraid to give up my freedom. I am afraid to trust the psychiatric institute with my life - more than afraid, terrified, and very distrustful. My Father says if I do not go I will suffer the rest of my life as I am now, and tells me he is afraid that next time I might really hurt myself. Though when I'm sober I don't even really think about it.

I admit that I'm miserable, but I'm not suicidal. I would have to lie about that to even get into the hospital. For a stay of three months or so - with no control over what will happen to me. I admit that I need help, but I am not sure if that is the right kind of help.

Any thoughts or advice on this would be welcome. Am I wrong to be so distrustful? Is it simply my pessimistic nature and is my worry in regards to psychiatrists (American psychiatrists in particular) completely unfounded? Should I turn over the keys to my life and my freedom to them?

Or should I do something else? I know I can't stay alone like this for very much longer. But my father's solution is not one that I like or trust.

[davidthegnome]

On a sidenote... he is now threatening to have me involuntarily committed. I don't know if or how he can do this. I'm not entirely sure if the right to refuse treatment apples in such cases - I know that I am not presently a danger to myself and have never been a danger to anyone else.

Of course he was also drunk while he said all of this... a glass of rum in his hand. It seems like there's no where for me to turn to, no where to go. The only people that support me financially are my parents, and I'd hate being a burden to anyone else - I hate it enough being a burden to them. No friends, no close family that would understand, or even probably want to help.

Maybe the only way to do it is to fix myself, I've been trying for some time, but so far have met with failure. I wanted to go to a Monastery but my parents wouldn't support that. It's times like this when I wish I really believed, sure could use an angel right now.

[Oceanblue]

I don't usually post anymore, because today I suffer a lot more from depression than from anxiety. But I remember well that the people I have known here have been extraordinarily kind, supportive, and intelligent. I need advice about something, from someone other than my Father.

Over the last month, on two occasions I've gotten very drunk. Hard alcohol, rum, brandy, vodka, whiskey. It's rare for me because I've never been much of a drinker at all, a light-weight, and up until the last year I could count on one hand the number of times I've been severely drunk.

On both occasions I became hysterical. I ranted and raved about how lonely, how unhappy I was, how useless I was and how much I hated my life. One of those occasions was last night. I lost all control and sense, called my Mother where she works as a supervising nurse at the hospital, called my 18 year old sister. Told them both I'd had it with life. (Understand, I am not suicidal as I write this)

One of them called the authorities and a state police officer with a big gun came into the house. He was a nice man fortunately, and somehow I ended up telling him my whole life story while he just sat and nodded. He eventually left me at home in the care of my sister... poor kid, 18, shouldn't have to deal with her lunatic 24 year old bro.

My father heard about it all today before he got home from a trip downstate at around 11:30. He is telling me that he knows of a hospital up here in Maine (in the USA) called Spring Harbor. A psychiatric hospital. He tells me that they could help me get off of the medications I've been on for ten years - zoloft, and xanax for closer to three years.

He says that the way I live my life is ruining me, I rarely go anywhere, spend almost all of my time in my little bedroom at home, drink too much soda.. smoke too much, spend nearly all of my time online. I've been that way for years now.

The problem is that I do not trust psychiatrists or psychiatric institutions. I know of their education, their training, specifically, because for a time I was interested in it myself. I know that here - the local psychiatrist charges 350 dollars an hour for an appointment, and if you have no health insurance like me you have to pay the full free up front before the appointment.

I know that they prescribe psychiatric drugs as if they were candy. Prozac, zoloft, xanax, ativan, citalopram, diazopram, paxil, effexor, and a multitude of others. I know that a great deal of Americans are addicted to these drugs. I know that there is no scientifically proven theory behind the science. Simply theories... to this day, they cannot determine via any medical test whether or not you have a phsyical chemical imbalance.

I am afraid to give up my freedom. I am afraid to trust the psychiatric institute with my life - more than afraid, terrified, and very distrustful. My Father says if I do not go I will suffer the rest of my life as I am now, and tells me he is afraid that next time I might really hurt myself. Though when I'm sober I don't even really think about it.

I admit that I'm miserable, but I'm not suicidal. I would have to lie about that to even get into the hospital. For a stay of three months or so - with no control over what will happen to me. I admit that I need help, but I am not sure if that is the right kind of help.

Any thoughts or advice on this would be welcome. Am I wrong to be so distrustful? Is it simply my pessimistic nature and is my worry in regards to psychiatrists (American psychiatrists in particular) completely unfounded? Should I turn over the keys to my life and my freedom to them?

Or should I do something else? I know I can't stay alone like this for very much longer. But my father's solution is not one that I like or trust.


Hi David,

Sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time right now, you do sound very lost.

Before I write anymore, you mentioned that you smoke too much, I was wondering what exactly, Cannabis or ciggies ? My opinion in trying to help would be a different one if you told me you smoke too much Cannabis, because the search for treatment will be entirely different.

xxx:flowers:

[jo61]

Hi there. I can understand your concerns. Don't know what the rules are in the US but in the UK it's not particularly easy to have some one sectioned (committed). Takes the sign off of at least one doctor, a psychiatrist and a family member at least. If you were to go into hospital would it be so bad? Again I only have experience of hospitals in a couple of European countries - they don't hand out drugs easily and try to get the optimum cocktail for the individual which they can manage at home. Do keep in touch and you're in my thoughts.
:hugs:

[rocklover]

Hi,

Didin't want to leave your post unanswered. According to my Mum, we all have angels watching over us, and in my worst hours, for some reason, that thought does help me.

I don't think your Dad could have you committed without your permission as you would need to be assessed I'm sure, and an expert would know that you were not suicidal. I think your Dad is probably just sad for you and feels terrible that he cannot seem to help you.

I tried medications and they made me worse, so i have chosen the go it alone route, and although it's hard (you really have to dig deep), it can be done. You do need a good support network around you, and it sounds like your family are very good to you so I am sure they would be willing to be there for you.

Sometimes you have to come to a crisis point to be able to see clearly what you need to do and it can give you the strength you need. I wish you the best of luck.

[Karen]

Hi David

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time right now. The reason for the extreme lows you experience does seem to be linked to the alcohol as this is a depressant and when you are depressed anyway it just brings mood lower still.

I can understand your mistrust of psychiatrists and fear of psychiatric hospitals. For different reasons I've actually spent two separate periods of time in such places in the UK in the last 2 years and it didn't help me, although it wasn't to treat me for depression.

I don't know about the law in the US but in the UK it is not that easy to have someone sectioned (or committed) to such a hospital against their will. It takes an assessment under the Mental Health Act by a psychiatrist, independent doctor and an approved social worker - and sometimes the involvement of a parent but only if the individual is under a certain age (not sure if that's 16 or 18), but that doesn't seem to apply to you. As I say, I am not sure what the law is in the US.

Being forcibly admitted to hospital is always the very last step and the burden of proof lies with the professionals to show that you are a danger to yourself (or others) and they will always try to treat the person at home if possible. I underwent two assessments last year - beat the first one but had to voluntarily go in after the second one to avoid being sectioned. But my problem was completely different in that they said my life was in danger.

What other forms of help have you tried? Is there any way you could access some therapy?

Karen x

[davidthegnome]

Sorry it took me so long to reply.

I don't smoke cannabis, I smoke cigarettes (marlboro lights, expensive bloody things). If I didn't spend almost all of my time shut up in my room it probably wouldn't be as bad. The Doc told me though that there are already significant changes in my lungs. Not for the better, needless to say.

I do have therapy every week, or did, but I don't have health insurance right now. My therapist was seeing me out of charity and I felt so awful about it I couldn't keep going. I know he's a busy man with a family to support and I couldn't stand the thought that he was seeing me for free, when others would have paid 60 dollars an hour for my spot.

I'm really not sure what the right answer is for me. I've sworn off drinking for a while, but I'm still really depressed.... and maybe I just have to accept that that's how I am.

[Oceanblue]

Hi David,

I wondered where you had gone lol.

I think you're doing the right thing by stopping drinking altogether, drink after all is a depressant in itself and when feeling low whilst drinking it's going to make you feel awhole lot worse.

I have been admitted to a Psychiatric Hospital twice, run by the NHS here in the UK. My advice would be to avoid if you possibly can, they aren't the most pleasant places, as you can imagine. I understand you're feeling horribly low, but I feel that if you can, try and stay out of hospital.

Private Hospitals of course are alittle different and some are quite relaxing, my dad was admitted to The Priory quite afew times, luckily his Company he worked for paid for his treatment, it seemed very good, only extremely expensive ! So I guess it really does depend on how much cash you have for your treatment.

When you say you spend so much time online, I was wondering if you're a member of a Depression Site? If you are and if you don't mind me saying, I honestly think it's best to avoid sites like these (no offence to anyone, as each to their own), but I feel they bring you down more so.

I wouldn't worry so much about smoking at this moment, you're feeling far too low to even want to try and give up, just take a step at a time.

I was wondering if you've also had your Thyroid checked as this can make you feel depressed, have you asked your doctor for a test?

I know that when we're feeling low we're not so interested activities and things, but have you thought about taking up a hobbie of some sort. Mountain Biking, Swimming, Art,... anything really?

I hope you feel better soon. Take good care xx:flowers:

[Krakers]

Hi David - I feel compelled to reply as someone who is alcohol dependant.

I can't help with your issues about Psych's and the US law - I just don't know enough.

What I do know is that spirits (liquor in the US?) is not something you should be self medicating with. Theres numerous problems use causes, although I think you've already figured out a few.

While this may fly in the face of other posts, one thing you should not do if you have been drinking long term is go cold turkey. I'll just present the worse scenario, although this isn't typical - if you've been drinking over a period of time and suddenly stop you can die. I'm sorry that I can't word it more gently but its fact, regarless of your intentions.

While your goal is to stop drinking, for the mean time cut out all spirits. Drink wine or beer in moderation and seek help from anywhere in the US that helps you cut back and provides relapse prevention with future ongoing abstinance sessions.

Abstinance can only be achieced after you reduce, but more importantly stop using alcohol as a crutch.

I'd recommend you write down your drinking patterns and also why you felt you needed a drink. This will help isolate the triggers and also help you to prevent relapse.

I speak as someone who has been there, but spirits will spiral any anxiety or depression the following day - this I guarentee.

Alcohol also depletes vitamin B in the brain - a neccessary vitamin. While you try and cut down I'd advise taking both Vitamin B complex and Thiamine (B1).

If you'd like to chat further then deel free to PM me.

Krakers.

[Oceanblue]

Over the last month, on two occasions I've gotten very drunk. Hard alcohol, rum, brandy, vodka, whiskey. It's rare for me because I've never been much of a drinker at all, a light-weight, and up until the last year I could count on one hand the number of times I've been severely drunk.

On both occasions I became hysterical. I ranted and raved about how lonely, how unhappy I was, how useless I was and how much I hated my life.


Luckily David isn't a drinker.