View Full Version : Emetophobia is driving me to despair
Hi,
As some of you know I have a whole range of problems - it's quicker to say what I haven't got! Right now though I am in a terrible state with my emet - there's so much in the news about the norovirus and my fear levels have gone through the roof. There was a thing in the local paper this weekend about there being an outbreak of it at my local hospital, and just seeing it in print brought on a terrible panic attack. I think about being sick all the time, and somehow my fear seems to get worse after dark, so the evenings are like torture - I feel like I'm waiting for it to begin.
I feel stupid being like this - I'm a reasonably intelligent, well-educated woman of thirty and I just cannot rationalise this awful fear. It sends me into a state of primal terror. I have all sorts of other problems and issues as well that ought to put this one into perspective, but they don't - it is still my biggest fear.
I know it's a normal function and all that, and it's designed to save us from poisons and so on, but I just remember the last time I was physically sick - eight years ago now - and how terrible I felt, like I was going to die.
Can someone offer some advice as to how to get through this terrible time?
Just wanted to clarify when I said I was well-educated above, of course I know that has nothing to do with it, and having a phobia has no bearing on how intelligent you are. I just feel daft being so scared of something that primary school kids take in their strides!
Hi.
Okay, i am emetophobic, i am 33 and definitely NOT well educated!
This fear consumes you, IF YOU LET IT! Three weeks ago a child at my sons school puked in the classroom, right next to my son. I spent the next 2 weeks in a daze, scared crapless.
But then, there is a lot of people who get this norovirus, but there is an awful lot more who DO NOT! Last year they mentioned so many million people were getting sick, but it worked out to be something like 9% of the population, they like to scare munger, if they don't, then there's no news. Hospitals have outbreaks ALL year and unless you are sitting with someone when they are doing 'it' then you're safe. If you know of someone who is ill, then just don't go snogging them or sharing cuttlery.
I am rubbish at dealing with this illness, but, i really can't worry about whether it might happen or not. If my son gets sick, then i will start panicking.
Wash hands..but not obsessively!
:)
x
Thank you ever so much Belle, I feel better for knowing I'm not alone - although of course I wouldn't wish this on anyone!
I have another problem actually - I'm meant to be having a pelvic scan at the hospital this week, and of course now I've heard they have a sickness bug there I'm too scared to go. I rang my doctor to try to explain my fear and he was horrible to me, saying I was being 'irresponsible' to defer the scan (even though before he told me it was unlikely to be anything serious) and that I shouldn't think I was too good to go to the General hospital, and he gave me a lecture about how good their scan department is, etc - just not listening at all to me. I couldn't stop crying when I hung up.
I'm supposed to ring the hospital later in the week to rearrange the scan, but I'm just too scared - HELP!!! xxx
Hi,
I had this recently (and at the beginning of the year) too. I had to go to the hospital for an MRI and i was scared because i'd heard that the Norovirus was there, but....as i said in my previous message, unless you are in DIRect contact with the vomit either by being near someone when they are doing IT (either end) or sharing knives and forks, you'll be fine. I promise. If it makes you feel better, just make sure you keep using the hand gel and don't use the toilets. The viruses are containted in the wards and you won't be going to one of them.
:)
x
hi im sorry that you are feeling rubbish at the moment but i thought id write and tell you you are not the only person with this fear i have it to and i worry about the same thing i hate hospitals and doctors becuase of the germs i even stoped going to my local gym as my fear was so bad
i think your doctor could of been more understanding about how you felt and maybe tried to put you at ease rather then telling you of . maybe its a good idea to go and see another doctor and explain that you would feel more comftable talking to someone else about your problems . i hope that you will feel better soon and try and not to worry to much about news papers they do like to make things sound worse then they are thay after all have to sell newspapers
Yeah, thanks... I know you're right... it's just so hard. I feel very depressed and anxious about Christmas coming up as well, it seems to get worse every year, it's like I have a Christmas phobia. I feel so alone with it. I tried to talk to my mum about it this afternoon, and at first she was fairly sympathetic, but before long she lost her temper and said she was sick of me being so negative, etc. (The same conversation we've had umpteen times). I know I am negative, but how do you stop being negative when your whole life is negative? I feel like saying that I didn't ask to be here, besieged with all these problems (some of which, frankly, I do blame my parents for) and how the hell am I supposed to be all merry and bright when all I really want to do is go to sleep and not wake up? Anyway, sorry, I'll stop ranting now! xxx
no its ok its good to have a rant about things that upset us . i also get negative around this time as well i think its all the stress of money and being around family
lucy030188
09-12-08, 19:31
hey....i think belle has said everything i would have said...
but just wanted to say that im emetophobic too...and i understand entirely where you are coming from!! Ive even done a whole module on phobias in my degree course at uni....and STILL cant seem to get over it!
Best wishes
lucyx
Hi
I too worry terribly about norovirus and as I work in a hospital I get really panicky when this time of year comes round. The main thing is that as Belle said it is caught by direct contact with the person, or a surface that has been in contact with vomit (sorry!!!) or if you are near someone when they are being sick.
The best way to avoid it is to wash your hands, soap and water is the most effective. I also use alcohol gel after washing my hands to make extra sure. Try not to be too obsessive about the hand washing though, I tend to be when I'm at work but then it's positively encouraged there.
Try not to think that you are risking yourself by going into the hospital, I think you are very unlikely to catch anything in there whilst having a scan.
I know how hard it is as I think about norovirus on a daily basis and everytime I feel a bit sickly(usually nerves) I think I've got it. It's a very common phobia and it consumes me at times, so I really feel for you.
Take care and PM me if you wanna talk.
Thank you all very much, it's good to know I'm not alone. You do so well working in a hospital Andie, I really admire you for that! Just wondering if you know how long these outbreaks usually last?
I'm really scrupulous about washing my hands - like you say, though, you have to find a balance and not get carried away with it - especially me, since I have OCD as well. xxx
I kow what you mean about the hand washing, I have to restrict myself to cos I think I boarder on OCD myself. I work in a hospital, but not on the wards, it's in the coffee shop. But it's really hard at this time of the year as I am in the outpatients dept and everyone that comes in is coughing and spluttering. It makes me feel ill just listening to it all. Then I start over washing my hands and they get sore!!!!
I think that it will probably peak over christmas with so many people getting together, but I'm no expert believe me. It's just my guess.
Take care and you know where I am.
Thank you for all the advice and help.... now I just have to find the courage to make the appointment.
It's amazing how overwhelming this fear is... I think as well that with all the general stress there is at this time of year, and all the pressure Christmas causes, it all seems to work together and the fear becomes unmanageable.
It's funny because I have had so many really major problems in my life that you might think this would seem trivial, but it doesn't - it seems to loom larger than anything else.
It seems to affect me in all sorts of funny ways too - one of them is that while I am scared of being sick generally, my fear always gets worse after dark... and my greatest and most intense fear is of being sick during the night, round about 2 am. I often stay awake until this time at the moment, because my winter depression has sent my sleep cycle haywire, so now I have got into a bad sleeping pattern as well!
It's weird, the last time I was really sick was nearly eight years ago - it was a terrible experience and I felt like death, but then the next day I had almost a sense of elation, a feeling of 'I've actually done it!' but then that feeling ebbed away and before long I was back to being as scared as ever.
Anyway, thank you all ever so much. xxx
The best way to avoid it is to wash your hands, soap and water is the most effective. I also use alcohol gel after washing my hands to make extra sure. Try not to be too obsessive about the hand washing though, I tend to be when I'm at work but then it's positively encouraged there.
Another tip, I gather - sorry, this is a bit gross - is to avoid picking your nose or putting your fingers in your mouth (whyever you'd want to do that) after touching door handles etc. because mucous membranes are a good entry point for germs. Someone will no doubt correct me if that's rubbish.
Hi there, I have not experienced such a phobia, though I do have other ones and I would say phobias by their very nature are generally irrational so you shouldn't feel silly about it, all the best Stephen x
Hi there - I've just joined this site and I can completely sympathise with you. Like you, I am in a terrible state at the moment about all this "Winter Vomiting Bug" hype. I keep hearing that you can only catch it if you come into direct contact with the vomit - that reassures but then on the other hand, you think well if they say it is so highly contagious then how do so many people come down with it and how does it start? Someone has to have it first! Is it contact passed on or airborne? (Just thinking out loud here)
They also say the symptoms of it are nausea and then uncontrollable violent and projectile vomiting - does everyone get the vomiting? Gastroenteritis affects everyone in different ways - some people get sick while others just have tummy pains and become a bit loose.
Every day just now I feel so yucky. It's like I am constantly thinking I might have the bug. My stomach feels so heavy and queasy at times (through nerves). Every minute, I am thinking about it.
Its passed on very easily. It's passed on through kids mainly. They go to school not being 'well' after having it, they use the loos, they don't wash their hands, they touch a pencil, the other kid puts in in their mouth....BINGO!
I am still unsure whether you can catch it breathing near someone who has it or not?
Its spread through families obviously when someone has puked and you use the toilet after. Those germs live in surfaces for ages. Although you wash your hands, you've touched the tap AFTER your hands are clean. I use toilet paper (when my son says he feels ill).
It isn't airborne. If you go to www.emetophobia.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13408&PN=1 (http://www.emetophobia.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13408&PN=1) there is some helpful info on there (although I got myself in a panic because I don't think I wash my hands for as long as 20 seconds!)
From what I gather, norovirus is a form of gastroenteritis, and, as Jenny says, that can take different forms. Last January I had a day when I had awful diarrhoea, but no vomiting (thank God) - I wonder if that was a mild case of the norovirus?
The reality is not everyone is going to be very ill with it - that's the way with all infectious illnesses, bacterias and viruses.
And I wish to God that the papers would stop using that phrase 'uncontrollable projectile vomiting' - it's a horrid phrase that causes a lot of unnecessary panic. When I was a kid it was just called being violently sick - still unpleasant but a lot less melodramatic! xxx
Hi all
I'm new here today and in light of all the media panic about Norovirus I searched for forums for people with emetophobia; and here you are! I've been emetophobic for as long as I can remember and there have been periods of my life where it has ruled. I'm currently out of work and dismiss particular jobs due to the possibility of having to deal with situations outside of my comfort zone. It's terribly sad. Like many here I'm a sane (!), intelligent individual and common sense tells me to get over it but I just can't. I wish the media wouldn't whip us all into a frenzy the way they do. All of that said, I feel that I have some positive contribution to make here, do forgive me as some of what I'll list comes from an emetophobia support website but it is VERY helpful!
First of all; some myths - Norovirus is not airborne in the strictest sense of the word, if you are near someone who is ill in front of you the virus can become airborne and spread this way but you can’t catch it by simply being near someone who has it.
Alcohol-based hand gels do not kill Norovirus!
Not all people will be sick; the brain may allow you to "not vomit" if you convince it to. Some emetophobes have a high tolerance and can overcome this. This is not harmful; being sick doesn’t rid your body of the virus, it’s a secondary response to it attacking your immune system.
The virus can be active outside of people on surfaces such as counters, toilets, doorknobs and handrails. Remember that you cannot catch it by just touching a doorknob. You would have to put your hand into your mouth. Therefore, hand-washing is essential to prevention of transmission.
The main reason for all Norovirus outbreaks is poor hygiene, i.e., people using the loo and not washing hands afterward, then contaminating surfaces or foods. For this reason I avoid eating out just now if I'm not in a position to wash my hands thoroughly first.
So if you don’t put your hands in your mouth, don’t eat uncooked foods prepared in a restaurant, don't stand beside someone who's vomiting and don’t eat raw or steamed shellfish it is impossible to contract a Norovirus. Ensuring that your hands are properly washed before eating ensures that you will not catch it as well. There is no need to fear if you hear that someone at work or a friend you’ve visited has come down with the virus.
No matter how much of an “outbreak” of the virus is in your geographic area, you are at no greater risk of catching it than if only one person has it. Good hygiene will ensure you are safe.
Sorry for such a long first post; I truly hope it helps. I know it won't stop the moments f panic but it might help to put things into perspective!
I'm new here too and I have been driven to despair with the media reports about the Norovirus .. so much so that I'm dreading Christmas in case any of my visitors start to be ill whilst they're in my home. I take various herbal tablets .. some to support the immune system (to keep away the bugs .. hopefully .. and others like theanine to 'calm' me, but at the moment my stomach is tied in knots with worry. It is reassuring to read the posting from Eshic and just reading that has helped me tonight. Now I may get some sleep! Apart from all the anxiety symptoms ... knotted stomach, lack of sleep etc there are days when I just can't stop crying. Is this just another symptom of anxiety? I know that once this present epidemic is over I will feel much better ... roll on Spring! Thanks everyone .. at least I now feel a bit more 'normal!'
Thank you eshic, I loved your post. I work in a hospital and this fear of norovirus is overtaking my life. My hands are red raw from washing and hand gel, which I don't suppose is a bad thing, but holding your breath when walking past areas where there are cases is not healthy, anymore advice would be great :(
EnterTheFlea
24-12-12, 19:18
My Emet is also worse at night. Its weird. I think its because, during the day, I have piece of mind that I can run away anywhere and vomit out of site without anyone seeing. At night it feels like im trapped in my house. Annoying!
Reading through all the posts has made me breathe a huge sigh of relief. My thoughts go out to all of you. I have suffered with emetophobia for 25 years and it has gone into overdrive the past year. I have been suffering with severe nausea for the past 5 months and no doctor can get to the bottom of why I have it. Now we are in norovirus season I live in constant fear that I am coming down with it and find myself waking in the middle of the night in a panic, i'm avoiding going out and then to my horror children from the local school have been bag packing at sainsburys, touching my shopping. i have stopped putting my hands anywhere near my mouth and nose. i no longer eat any food with my fingers (even crisps) despite washing my hands on average of 30 times a day. I feel trapped and out of control. My thanks especially to eshic for your reassuring words. Also a very good point i read earlier was that for all the cases of noro out there, many more people do not have it. I keep saying that to myself over and over. Roll on April when the noro season ends.
wow, just been reading all these posts. I'm with you on the fear. I'v been dealing with this for .... erm something like 30 years plus. I've only just worked that out. I cope better now than I used to (post CBT). I still have "moments" of ridiculous fear/panic over it. My partner is very understanding tho.
As an example, yesterday we were at her brothers place; both he & his wife had noro only about 5/6 days ago. It didnt get passed to their children (my partners nephews) but still I was in a right panic about going there (its was a long 2.5 hr drive there & same back so we werent just driving down the road).
Given my way, I'd have said "no we're not going, its too risky". I did have a full on conversation with my partner about how it was making me feel. She understood. In fact, when we were there - i'd told her not to sit on the toilet (too risky) & must use hand gel.... etc etc. Well, she didnt sit down & even came to show me she was using gel. Crazy I know but that was reassuring.
I havent obsessed over it 24/7 - instead I've got through any 'moments' i've had by rationlising my thoughts & trying to remain realistic. The evidence in these posts about how it gets passed on is something I used to reassure myself so i'm grateful to people who have taken time to post the information.
It proves that sticking to FACTS & not letting your thoughts spiral out of control is helpful.
Iced_diamond
26-12-12, 22:12
Hi all, first of all, I hope you guys all had an enjoyable Christmas and didn't let these fears get to you too much. I've tried posting some factual and reassuring messages on here for everyone who is stressing themselves over the Norovirus. I feel like I've really said all that I can say, but I do fully understand that when you're emetophobic it doesn't really matter much what anyone says, as the reassurance only lasts for a few moments. To be honest, I also have a bit of a fear about vomiting, because it is completely unpleasant and you feel like you're not in control of yourself-but remember your body will do what's right for you. :) However, I have learnt to be much more rational about this. I will come under fire if I am wrong, but would you guys believe me, if I said that you will most likely, most realistically NOT get this virus. I know how careful you guys all are and you are all well informed about what to best do to avoid this bug. There are always outbreaks of this in hospitals (mainly) and schools too-it's all year round-a bit more rife in winter, but still. We know the press babble on about it every year-it's honestly become a bore and to me it's sloppy, lazy journalism. Chances are if you never picked up a paper or listened to radio or watched the news, you wouldn't even know about it. I know people on here have posted that they know of smaller children in their family who may have it. I doesn't necessarily mean they have Norovirus. Kids can sometimes overeat-especially at Christmas and this can cause them to be sick, so it's not always the Norovirus which they may have. On top of this, we may even have a certain immunity to the virus-you may have had the strain before or your immune system may fight it without symptoms etc. As long as you follow good hygiene rules and don't hang out with people being actively sick-you're basically safe. :)
iced_diamond, thank you again for your reassuring words :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Emets - I'm so sorry you all suffer too, but grateful to know that I'm understood xxx
Iced_diamond your words are reassuring and everytime I feel myself getting a panic attack about it all,I go back to your post and re-read it.
I've had a uneasy Christmas.My sister now has a job in a care home and I was staying round hers during the Xmas period and was constantly worrying if she had brought any bugs back from work with her..even though no one there was ill.
I was on edge all day Xmas day but felt ok till boxing night when I was back home
This morning I was back at work and had a panic attack from 6am till 8:30am..was terrible.
I have a couple of good days then a couple of bad days...which is improvement beings as I was having attacks daily for the past 2 months.
I've resorted to telling myself out loud "stop it,it's just a panic attack,you are not ill and this feeling will pass"..Sometimes it helps but sometimes I feel out of control.
It's taking over my life now..I want to get these thoughts I have out of my head!!.
I've been referred to counselling but I'm so scare of
1:being in a hospital/doctors/clinic place incase of any illnesses
2:being treated by someone who wants to show me pictures/videos of my fear and eventually having to do the terrible deed if you know what!!
I just feel like my head is battered and I'm going round in circles.
I want to try and control my fear like I used to (I went 2 years without a panic attack) but how my head is at the moment it's tough!
Hi All,
Many Thanks for all of your posts on this. It has been good to read through a few of them and know that I am not alone in this. Last year, my husbands side of the family all came down with Norovirus. Now, please do not think me weird, but I have spent the last 12 months waiting for Christmas to come around again. I have associated December with everyone getting ill, and my emtophobia has run wild. For me, it was the lack of control that I could not have. I feel that if we had been at home, I would have been ok. But my husband got ill at my sister-in-laws and we had to wait 3 days until he got better before we could return home. I have never been so happy to leave a place. The thing is, I did not get ill. But the dread of getting ill has caused me to fell nauseous, avoid small children and dread going to parties because someone might have it. It has been an awful 12 months, my husband has had to suffer with me being all over the place, and I have stressed so much about it, that I think it might have been responsible for my stomach ulcer
It's good to read that it is not airboune, as I was convinced this was the reason that my husband got it. My father in law went down first, followed by my husband. I stopped eating when he went ill, as I thought that I would starve myself just incase I had the bug and it would not be able to thrive that way. But I was never ill. Either way mind. My mother-in-law was only slightly ill as well. So you are right when you say people get it either badly, or have mild symptoms of it.
But I am paranoid about getting it this year. And for two reasons. 1) I do not want to be away from home again and 2) I am due to go to a performance I have been waiting all year to attend. I have done all the usual like wash my hands thoroughly, but a bulk load of bleach etc.. but I am convinced I will be ill, and its not that I cannot deal with being ill as such (do not get me wrong, the fear of being sick is the worst) but that fact that I do not have control
To cut this very long story short, I want to thank you all again for reassuring me that a) its not just me and b) that the stories in the news etc... are blown out of proportion. I needed the knowledge to understand it, so that I can control this phobia and not stop seeing people or doing things. I miss enjoying events and hate thinking that at any moment now I am going to go down being ill, and I almost want my life back from feeling sick (as the stress of worrying about being sick, is making me feel sick)
So thank you, and I wish you all a pleasant and sick-free Christmas
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