Fear of being gay...

[jpwn]

I have developed the fear of being gay..

I was having intercourse with my girlfriend around a month ago, I lost erection and suddenly started fearing I was gay.. I have never been attracted to guys, Only girls. We have had intercourse since then and I havent lost it.

I always get scared now that I am going to get erection over guys and lose interest for my girlfriend..

I find women very attracted, well most, but I still have fears that I'm gay or will become gay..

I also looked up gay porn and gagged and it did not turn me on at all. (no offense)

I talked to this about someone and they asked if I had feelings for a guy, I don't but it scares me that maybe I do and don't know it?

My mind is going crazy, help me.


Am I straight?
Can one become gay?
I am 19.

[eeyorelover]

Well that is a hotly debated question whether someone is born gay or becomes gay and one that I don't think is wise to debate on the forum as it would inevitably get heated!
I would say that in your case since you aren't attracted to men, you have a girlfriend, and find it cause for worry that you are definitely not gay.
Seems to me as if it's just a case of intrusive thoughts and that is common among anxiety sufferers.
I suggest that the next time you have this thought that you dismiss it as just a thought and redirect your thinking to something else.
xxx
Sandy

[Krakers]

Hi jpwn - if you don't mind me asking, are you on meds at the moment ?

A common side effect of quite a few is reduced sexual performance.

If you're not on meds, then I wouldn't instantly think "I am gay". You are what you are and you know what you like.

From your post you sound totally hetrosexual. Performance issues happen to us all - the first time is always the most startling. I think most women would agree that its the intimacy rather than the act which counts.

Don't forget either that you have hands, and self gratification isn't the name of the game.

I don't wish to be too graphic, so I'll end by saying most men at some time just can't do the do. As you have a girlfriend I'm sure she loves and adores you and the cuddle is always welcome.

Krakers.

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:

From what you have written, I would say, your not gay.

For a few reasons, eg meds stress, you found you could not get an erection, this can happen with ALL men at times.

I do feel, that because you are acute with anxiety and for reasons this happened Mrs anxiety showed her face with all her negatives reasons you could not get an erection. If you never had anxiety, you may have been a little concerned about this, thats only natral, but you would have put this to one side and seen what happend next time. YES? if you did not have anx, you would not have thought you were gay, it would have NOT entered you head.

Please hun, DON'T let Mrs anxiety play with you on this, I feel, these are just anxiety thoughts, just let them roll, don't try and stop them, but please put more positive reasuring statments in place of these thoughts.

To answer your questons...

Am I straight? In my oppinon in what you have wriiten YES.
Can one become gay? only if you want to

YOU TAKE CARE

LOV JILLLXX

[phil06]

I suffer the same anxiety. If you see my previous posts. It's not changed me and I'm still straight (worry might be there) but if you read up the OCD section these kind of fears are common. OCD is always your worst fears but they start to make you worry.

I once read anxiety can't change you. There is some useful posts on here. Best to take your mind off it and relax.