PDA

View Full Version : really struggling with Depersonalisation :(



Cheeky220
12-12-08, 13:44
Hi

Really struggling with this i feel completely lifeless and have no emotions im scared stiff. i cant remember what life was like before this and that scares me how can it be possible to recover after its gone tis far?? :(:weep: its like wen i try to feel for my inner self i cant feel anything its so scary is that normal of dp?? also it feels like im not actually thinking if that makes sense. i cant stop self analyzing and always aware of myself how can i stop this?? :(

Pippage
12-12-08, 14:32
Put it in the anxiety hat and go do something!

Really , get Paul David's book from anxietynomore.co.uk. It really explains anxiety and will help you to lose the fear which is the key.

Cheeky220
12-12-08, 14:42
i just cant stop being afraid of this feeling :( and find it hard to do anything coz im s shaky and dizzy :(

Pippage
12-12-08, 14:47
I know it's horrible and hard, I can't remember what normal is like now either to be honest but being scared and posting on here ain't gonna change anything. Noone is going to live my life for me or come along with a magic cure so it's up to me to relax, let my poor old brain and body rest, do what I can, however small or simple e.g. hoover the house and let time pass.

Quite frankly I think sitting on the PC posting on forums is the worst thing for it and if I wasn't at work and wanting to help others, I wouldn't go on them at all. Although they are good at the start when you need reassurance and not to feel alone.

redballoons
12-12-08, 15:19
hi when I am feeling like that it helps me to play my piano or something that will make me think about what I am doing rather than the anxiety. do you have anythign you could do?

sophie

Cheeky220
12-12-08, 15:26
hi when I am feeling like that it helps me to play my piano or something that will make me think about what I am doing rather than the anxiety. do you have anythign you could do?

sophie

can u relate to the sensations tho?? yes i can make jewellery thing is its pretty much constant the now. will it go?

Pippage
12-12-08, 15:27
hi when I am feeling like that it helps me to play my piano or something that will make me think about what I am doing rather than the anxiety. do you have anythign you could do?

sophie


Good point

I do poi - something like that where you need to pay attention is good

Pippage
12-12-08, 15:55
can u relate to the sensations tho?? yes i can make jewellery thing is its pretty much constant the now. will it go?


Yes definitely had that. When you can manage to stop being scared of it and focusing on it, it will go as it feeds on fear. It is the fear that keeps you ill. It is a horrible thing to have to accept but only when you do will it start to dissipate. I will try and come on to msn tonight if you are going to be about and would like a chat?

redballoons
12-12-08, 16:11
yes the things you describe pretty much describe how I feel on a dily basis some days i manage to ignore it and carry on others I dont. At the moment I agree I cant remember what it was like to feel "normal" BUT what happens to me is that i can be feeling totally fine one minute and then the next minute I will think " oh i dont feel feel dizzy" and of course within a few sesonds I am dizzy! its almost like I have talked myself into feeling these things again because I am expecting to - if that makes sense.

Other than just trying to get on with things I really dont know how to get rid of these feelings - as i say some days I can carry on and after half an hour of ignoring these feelings I feel ok but it is hard while you feel so bad. Other days I find i just cant ignore it and I get sortr of sidetracked by it.

I am obsessed with planning things! I hate things to be disorganzied one thing that sometimes just help me get up and going is to plan ahead a bit say the next week or events in the future, It makes me feel like I have something to look forward to ?

for example at the moment I have been planning christmas - where everyone is going to sleep, what we will have for dinners etc or I am having a new baby in february so plannign for that really takes my mind off feelign not quite with it...

sorry i cant be more help!

sophie

BasilCat
12-12-08, 17:50
Hi Cheeky, I agree completely with Pippage. Go to www.anxietynomore.co.uk (http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk) and download the book. Its called, "At last a life" and costs £10.99 and its well worth it. It will help take away some of the fear of how you are feeling and give you ways to cope too. Infact here is the link to the page about DP.
http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation.html
You mention self analysing. This is normal with anxiety and is part of the reason for the DP as Paul David explains at the website and in the book. In fact I would say that all this self analysing (focussing inward) is equivalent to pouring petrol on the fire. So you need to get up and do something that will take your mind off you. I know how hard this is but it comes with practice. I also agree with Pippage about posting on forums. You are giving the symtoms importance and you need to, whats the word, try and not be as "impressed" by them. Also you need to accept how you are feeling then eventually you will feel as I do now. I am not as scared as I was and am doing most things, even though I am not 100% yet. The fear is definitely getting less. The "fire" is dying down a bit and it can do for you too.

Shirley.
PS The other thing is relaxation.

Pippage
12-12-08, 18:09
Hi Cheeky, I agree completely with Pippage. Go to www.anxietynomore.co.uk (http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk) and download the book. Its called, "At last a life" and costs £10.99 and its well worth it. It will help take away some of the fear of how you are feeling and give you ways to cope too. Infact here is the link to the page about DP.
http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation.html
You mention self analysing. This is normal with anxiety and is part of the reason for the DP as Paul David explains at the website and in the book. In fact I would say that all this self analysing (focussing inward) is equivalent to pouring petrol on the fire. So you need to get up and do something that will take your mind off you. I know how hard this is but it comes with practice. I also agree with Pippage about posting on forums. You are giving the symtoms importance and you need to, whats the word, try and not be as "impressed" by them. Also you need to accept how you are feeling then eventually you will feel as I do now. I am not as scared as I was and am doing most things, even though I am not 100% yet. The fear is definitely getting less. The "fire" is dying down a bit and it can do for you too.

Shirley.
PS The other thing is relaxation.


You are really good at saying what I mean to :D :D :) :hugs:

LACEYA1961
12-12-08, 18:41
:shrug: Quite frankly I think sitting on the PC posting on forums is the worst thing for it and if I wasn't at work and wanting to help others, I wouldn't go on them at all. Although they are good at the start when you need reassurance and not to feel alone.[/quote]

I have a question for you Pipp, would you tell people that going to group therapy is a waste of time and it's only going to make them worse? Would you tell someone face to face that the unrational fear they feel just needs to be "put into the anxiety hat" and move on?

I've read a few of your posts today and in all honesty they are very depressing. I've read a couple that was somewhat okay...I'm not sure if you mean to be negative or if you're one of those people that have overcome their own problems and have the need to look down on others who are still struggling. I get the feeling it's the latter. You seem to have a very superior attitude. If you've gone through what you say you've gone through I would think you would be more sympathetic and supportive instead of telling people that this forum is basically a waste of time and it's going to make them worse. It's not what we need to read/hear!

In the short time I have been here, I have found comfort and peace of mind many times already and I look at forums like these as group therapy in a sense. Just because we can't sit face to face and talk doesn't lessen the postive effects that comes from sharing with others.

I've already shared my ups and downs and the people here are wonderful and full of common sense even with their own problems. For a lot of us it's very difficult to leave home and the pc is our only way of communicating with others that are going through the same exact things.

If you've bothered to really read these posts you would see that the replies received are always uplifting...I can't say the same of yours.

Get some tact and pray you don't fall off your high horse and back into this blackness that most of us feel at times.

Lacey

LACEYA1961
12-12-08, 19:02
hiya cheeky!

You're not alone I promise. I often feel like I'm not myself at all...right now as I'm typing this I'm feeling it. It's scary to say the least. I'm also self analyzing constantly and it's a constant battle to try and stop. I usually end up praying or singing or sketching when I'm like this. It's helping me to do that.

Take care,

Lacey

Pippage
12-12-08, 19:05
:shrug: Quite frankly I think sitting on the PC posting on forums is the worst thing for it and if I wasn't at work and wanting to help others, I wouldn't go on them at all. Although they are good at the start when you need reassurance and not to feel alone.

I have a question for you Pipp, would you tell people that going to group therapy is a waste of time and it's only going to make them worse? Would you tell someone face to face that the unrational fear they feel just needs to be "put into the anxiety hat" and move on?

I've read a few of your posts today and in all honesty they are very depressing. I've read a couple that was somewhat okay...I'm not sure if you mean to be negative or if you're one of those people that have overcome their own problems and have the need to look down on others who are still struggling. I get the feeling it's the latter. You seem to have a very superior attitude. If you've gone through what you say you've gone through I would think you would be more sympathetic and supportive instead of telling people that this forum is basically a waste of time and it's going to make them worse. It's not what we need to read/hear!

In the short time I have been here, I have found comfort and peace of mind many times already and I look at forums like these as group therapy in a sense. Just because we can't sit face to face and talk doesn't lessen the postive effects that comes from sharing with others.

I've already shared my ups and downs and the people here are wonderful and full of common sense even with their own problems. For a lot of us it's very difficult to leave home and the pc is our only way of communicating with others that are going through the same exact things.

If you've bothered to really read these posts you would see that the replies received are always uplifting...I can't say the same of yours.

Get some tact and pray you don't fall off your high horse and back into this blackness that most of us feel at times.

Lacey[/quote]


Ummmmm back into? Still in it, not recovered.
I am not superior at all, and where are is the rulebook that says how I should be if I have recovered??? I am not looking down at all, I just think people shouldn't get TOOO dependant on forums. I do see their use though. See the thread 'YES' in the other section 'General Anxiety'. I'm not always good at saying things how I mean to. I was a bit blunt in what you've quoted yes but I am trying to help not be horrible. I do think you should conglomerate your symptoms, I have actually taken that idea from Paul David of anxietynomore.co.uk. I do also think that there is a fine line between support and being too focused on your problems. Maybe this is because I am not as bad as I was though I don't know? I guess it is probably a bit easier to say. They do say that when you start to get better you can't remember what it was like to be ill. I hope to god that is the case because the last 3 years have been utter hell.
Please don't judge me on one sentence. I DO know what it is like only too well I am trying to be positive here. Yes I would say anything I say on the net to someone's face. My own mother told me she had run out of sympathy for me the other day and I should stop being so self pitying, this is the sort of thing I have made myself immune to, so forgive me if I tend to sometimes forget everyone has not the same rubber skin as me.
I am only trying to reassure Cheeky that the individual things she experiences ARE normal for anxiety and she doesn't need to check back with each little thing - but of course she is free to if she feels the need. Yes the forum is great for support but I do feel too much can have the opposite effect to that desired. I'm not asking for anyone to agree with me though and established on another thread that that is down to the individual to decide.
If you have a problem with me, PM me, don't post up a list of what you don't like about me, that is hardly a positive or uplifting thing to do is it???
If you can't say anything nice etc. :shrug:

sylvia1970
12-12-08, 21:41
Sheesh, cheeky I can relate, I remember when my dp was debilitating, I had no sense of self, It felt like my thoughts werent my own, I was somehow, scattered, expanded , well thats how i felt. And yes, you do tend to feel hollow, not like yourself. I remember thinking also, that it felt like I wasnt thinking even when I was. I couldnt make any decisions,I couldnt even decide what I wanted to eat or drink, I was so confused. So cheeky we/I kinda know what your experiencing and how you feel. I also know guys, that while I was in that state and I urge you all to remember how being in that state feels, I couldnt possibly read or take in information to help myself. My brain was too scattered, too confused, couldnt make decisions, or process and all these abilities are needed in order to take in any information to help yourself. So I guess recommending all the books in the world will not help atm. Cheeky is in crisis at the moment, and overloading with information will not help, I know from experience. She/he may not have the ability to absorb any of it.

Cheeky I think important thing for you at this moment, is to have a good therapist/psychologist, to talk through this fear and help you calm down intitially. I know you are probably on the forums because your wanting reassurance, but you wont necessarily get it here, as it will never be enough. Stick to your meds, because they will help ground you and bring you more into your body. Also apparently what really helps with dp, is excercise, and lots of it, it makes you feel more solid in your body. Stick to the basics for now, someone to talk to, someone you can ring also like a counselling line maybe. Excercise, eating, showering, sleeping, etc
keep yourself safe.

all the best
sylvia

Pippage
13-12-08, 11:19
Agreed, Sylvia.

I think someone once said to me that your brain is so tired that it only runs the basics so it doesn't 'project' you properly, so the thing to do is only do the basics required for living and let it rest. It seems logical to me, although when you are in the midst of it nothing seems logical at all in fact it's hard to surmise what logic even is. I know how hard it is to not stress about it and to accept, it seems nigh on impossible most of the time. What Sylvia said about just eating, sleeping, washing and exercising and anything else you can manage, but not pushing yourself, is about right.

Sorry Cheeky I missed you on MSN but I am on most evenings at some point and will probably be on this afternoon too for a while so hopefully catch you sometime :hugs: