Driving phobia

[chicken.lickin]

Not totaly sure this is a phobia as such but it is a fear that is holding me back. I hate driving. I constantly feel scared to death and in a state. Didnt pass my test untill 3 months ago at the age of 30, and learning was just awfull, i used to feel sick and shaky before each lesson. Im to scared to go anywhere that isnt a totaly straight forward route, ie no ring roads, or changing lanes. I was put on cipramil to help with my anxiety but made my driving awfull, i was having massive panic attacks, something ive not had since i was 16, ive now switched to seroxat and seem a little better on these.

It feels easier just to stop in sometimes, but i cant as i have a child who needs to go out and have a normal life.

Have any of you had anything similar at all, or any advice?

[BasilCat]

Hi, I had anxiety attacks in the car 2.5 years ago - they were at the start of my breakdown. I had been driving for 25 years with no problems. Then all of a sudden I didnt even want to get into a car, let alone drive one. So it was another 9 or 10 months before I dared to get in a car again. Very difficult for someone who had been a confident driver for so long. I started driving the 1/4 mile to Tescos and then the 2 miles into town. Then 10 miles to Martin Mere where I do a voluntary job. Its taken me a year to get used to driving so far. Then, only last weekend I grabbed the bull by the horns and took my daughter on a 60 mile round trip to Lytham and back - the furthest I had driven since I had the breakdown 2.5 years ago. I have not been on any medication and its not been easy as you know. So you are not alone. I am glad that things seem a bit better for you on Seroxat. My advice would be to take it one step at a time as I did. It has been so hard for me as I have not been able to drive the 60 miles to my parents but maybe I will be able to do that next year if I can keep it up after my long drive last weekend.

Shirley

[JohnBliss]

I too was terrified of driving which is probably why I didn't learn to drive till I was 34. I'm sure a lot of people feel even more scared when they first drive on their own - .I know I did. I know really experienced and confident drivers who are quite nervous of going to places they have not been to before and rehearse the journey in their heads. I'm sure that you will find that the more you drive the more relaxed you will be -it will become something you do without even thinking about it. If you haven't got one I'd certainly recommend a Satnav because with one you don't have to worry about which lane you have to be in- etc it does the thinking for you.I wish they'd been around when I first took to the road on my own
All the best
John

[tm_edinburgh]

Tetley I could have written the same.
Traffic lights.. :lac:
Traffic jam ...:scared15:
Bridges..:weep:

Basilcat has some good advice. I think good relaxation techniques prior to attempting a journey alongside some practiced relaxation techniques.

I used to put the foot down before, thinking get there ASAP, which is dangerous and makes your heart race faster.

I am finding pulling into laybys as soon as my anxiety started helped me. It stopped the spiralling out of control panic.

* am currently seeing a CBT therapist about driving phobia

[Jinxed_Jex]

Hi everyone, i'm new

Ooh I posted on another topic about this but mentioning specifics has really brought it up for me. Yeah traffic lights are terrible, traffic jams, uphill starts, parking, car parks, roundabouts, oooh it's all too much. Even stopping on blocked roads to let traffic through scares me to fits so I just don't do it at all anymore.

I really wish I could and I'm so tired of everyone telling me how easy it is and how I should just take the bull by the horns but it's not about just me, it's about all the people that I'm putting at risk when I go on the roads, I am in a constant state of panic. Does anyone grip the steering wheel so hard they get back spasms, lol.

[tm_edinburgh]

No I've never had that but thats only because I'm trying so hard not to blooming hyperventilate :wacko:
Mine starts off with the biggest thump in my heart and then thumpity thumpity thumpity thump at 170bpm then I sweaty hands and then I realise I've either been holding my breath for so long and feeling light headed and faint...or gasping for breath and hyperventilating. Then I'm scanning for exits or safe places to pull over to breathe into a paper bag.
I'm doing CBT for it at the mo and I've done stuff this week I never dreamt I would do. I did an A road this week and a bypass junction roundabout at 8:45am rush hour!!:shades:

[BasilCat]

Hi tm_edinburgh, I am glad you think my advice is good. I have heard that CBT is good and it must be too if you have been on an A road, as well as a by pass, junction and roundabout at rush hour!! That amazing! What is it about the CBT that is helping you? It sounds fantastic and I am really pleased that you have been able to do all those things. As for me, on New Years Day, I finally drove the 60 miles to my parents and back, on the motorway!!! Well its a round trip of 110 miles and 50 of it was on the motorway! Hubby was in the car with me at the time. He could have taken over if I wanted him to but I never even suggested it! I wasnt 100% I might add at this point but I did better than expected. Now the thing is, dare I do it on my own or with the kids?!!

Shirley

[tm_edinburgh]

Can’t tell you what a relief it is to be able to have people to talk about this to. I did all of that on my own!!
Everyone says you’ll be fine, its irrational you know its irrational so don’t think about it. Another thing is they think that its just nerves and to get through it, they don’t realise that when I hyperventilate my hands are gnarled that I’m unable to physically drive.
I said to my sister in law who’s scared of spiders….
A dual carriageway is like me asking you to hold a house spider.
Driving a motorway is like me putting a tarantula down the back of your jumper while you’re wearing handcuffs( I think she got the picture :whistles: )

Re CBT…
I’m starting to learn to control my panic and cope with it. I used to be like oh here we go…panic on a scale of 75% then straight to a full blown 100% in an emergency layby with a bag over my mouth. Now I’m like here we go…ok STOP, don’t downward spiral here 65% ok well done for taking the turn off, smile, be happy, be proud...50%...look you’re doing it…yaaay 40%..you've done it this is managable...30%... :yahoo: I think my nerves are desensitising. Each biggie I’ve done the panic is getting less once I’m committed to do the goal I’m about to do i.e. when I take the turn onto the bypass or take the turn onto the roundabout with a 5 lanes and traffic lights on it.


well done on your motorway...I keep doing a goal until I feel virtually nothing and then step the game up a bit. If I fail I ask why, normally Its tiredness or being stressed out before leaving the house.

[BasilCat]

Yes it is a huge relief to speak about this isnt it and to think you did all that on your own. That is a major acheivement you know. I know how hyperventilation is too, and having had anxiety etc, 4 times in 30 years, I had major probs with hyperventilating 20 years ago. I went to see a Psychologist and he had me cured of panic/anxiety in about 6 months. I think that what you told your sister in law is spot on. She would get the picture when you put it to her the way you did.

I see what you mean about the CBT. Thinking about it, I have been doing something similar on my own these last couple of years, well nearly 3 actually. Thats the thing isnt it, to desensitise our nerves - have you read Claire Weekes book, Essential Help for your Nerves? She talks about being sensitised etc. Anyway its great to hear that each big panic you have is getting less. They do stop in the end. I had panic/agoraphobia when I was 19 and was housebound and in a real mess for a year. Then unbelievably the panic disappeared without reason, warning, answer or explanation!!! It was one of the best days of my life!! A roundabout with 5 lanes and traffic lights on it is a huge achievement. How I ever drove down the Motorway (the M65) I dont know but I will do it again. I know what you mean when you "fail" and you ask why. I do the same and can usually find a suitable reason.
Keep up the good work.
Shirley

[Jinxed_Jex]

I love the way you used someone's elses phobia (your sister's) to explain your own in terms they can understand, that is a good idea.

[tm_edinburgh]

I drove with my one year old along the A1 to Edinburgh and ended up hyperventilating in a layby 2 miles from my destination to meet my other half. He took my son home while I drove back on my own fine which is great. Obviously not ready for the responsibility of my son yet. Too big a step too soon.
How's everyone else getting on?

[BasilCat]

Hi there tm, I know just what you are saying. I didnt want my kids (or anyone else) in the car with me for ages and ages. But I made myself go short distances with them and have eventually managed, you may rememeber me saying, just before Xmas, to take my daughter on a 60 mile round trip and I also took hubby and both kids the 60 miles to my parents (and back) on New Years day. 2 years ago I never thought I would drive again, let alone, drive to my parents and back home and on a 60 mile round trip. Trouble is I need to keep doing it but with petrol the price it is, I cant keep practising 60 mile round trips etc. I think you will be fine tm if you just take it a step at a time and get your confidence up a bit more, then take your son short distances and gradually make them longer. At least your son wasnt old enough to ask you what was wrong when you pulled into the layby and you did great to get so far tm. My 2 are 15 and were about 12 when I panicked in the car - they were with me. It was the pits of hell. But I feel I am winning now. Take care.

Shirley

[NEROLI]

hi i know this is an older post but im sure it wouldnt matter if i bumped it up.
I have a very strong fear of driving also, so i've never gotten my license there may be a lot of different reasons why that I won't waste time dredging up.
I 'm sure though the main thought that keeps popping up is the one where I get into an accident and hurt someone ,that I could not live with,the second thought is always of me ending up on tubes for the rest of my lin the hospital which is another phobia of mine hospital's are.
would really like to feel independent and move a head but never

[Irishhhhhh]

NEROLI the fear of being in an accident or death also affects me. Part of my OCD I have terrible mental images while driving which then sets off my anxiety!

I mostly walk everywhere now and only use my car if it is the last resort :weep:

[TessCat]

I find it refreshing to read all of these responses. When you suffer from panic attacks you think you are the only person in the world who has experienced such terror. Then you come across this kind of a forum and realise that you really are not alone in the world with your fears, anxieties and panics. There are thousands of people just like you. Its kind of comforting in a bleak sort of way.
I liked the previous writers analogy saying that asking her to drive on a motorway was like her asking her arachnophophic sister to hold a tarantula. I feel like that as well.
But the worst is I feel embarrassed to admit my fear. I am terrified of driving on the motorway and no amount of rational thinking makes it any easier. I dont mind if someone is with me but ALONE .....not for me just yet!

[sandradee]

Glad to see I'm not alone on this one. I used to love to drive, passed my test first time aged 19, but I realise now I was never very adventurous, just work, shopping etc., maybe didn't challenge myself enough in the early days.

Trying to get back into it now we are in France. I've only driven a few times in the last year, and my brain is struggling to cope with driving on the right and busier roads. Don't mention huge roundabouts and dual carriageways, the sense of speed is frightening. Someone in an earlier post mentioned sat-nav......any positive experiences with those anyone? I'm in unchartered waters here, new country, new town and finding it tough going. thanks for any replies.